A Joke to Start the Week: "Old Jews" Audience Member Tells Joke to Celebrate Her 100th Birthday

This week's joke to start the week comes not from a member of the Old Jews Telling Jokes crew, but from a member of the audience at the off-Broadway show.

Last month Dorothy Carchman, a 100-year-old great-grandmother, celebrated her birthday with a trip to see the Old Jews Telling Jokes off-Broadway show that has been playing on West 43rd Street in New York for the last year. The cast invited her onstage to play a role in delivering the punch line of a joke that they set up for her.

The centenarian got rounds of applause not only for her delivery, but also for telling the audience that she has 6 delicious granddaughters and 13 great-grandchildren. When one of the actors said that he had googled her, she quickly responded "I always wanted to be googled" and got some more laughs.

Happy Birthday, Dorothy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

A Funny Mexican Kosher Recipe for Cinco de Mayo

Today is Cinco de Mayo, the fifth of May. So what's Jewish about it? Actually, nothing. 

Cinco de Mayo is not Mexico's independence day, but a celebration of the Mexican army's unlikely victory over French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862. It grew in popularity and evolved into a celebration of Mexican culture and heritage, first in areas with large Mexican-American populations, like Los Angeles, Chicago, and Houston. Eventually it expanded across the United States.

For Jews living in cities where Cinco de Mayo is celebrated, and looking for a holiday to observe between Lag B'Omer and Shavuot, the day is a good excuse to dine in a kosher Mexican restaurant. In New York, Carlos & Gabby's is a growing chain. In New Jersey, Smokey Joe's in Teaneck offers Mexican specialties, and in Los Angeles, MexiKosher in Pico-Robertson is the place to go.

The MexiKosher restaurant, which calls itself the Fun Food Factory, also shows a sense of humor in its videos on YouTube. With a Japanese chef and a rabbi who is really a comedian, the MexiKosher team shows how to prepare what's likely the world's largest giant tequila latke. The chef's ingredients include liquid chicken (eggs) and poor man's steak (cactus).

As the chef turns the latke with what looks like the world's biggest spatula, Rabbi Rabbs makes his entrance. He's really Hershel Remer, a Los Angeles comedian who had a bit role in the Oscar winning short film, West Bank Story.

Oh, about the tequila. Early in the video, the bottle falls and shatters. So the chef has to substitute red wine. It doesn't seem to matter, though.

Ole!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Welcoming Shabbat With Beautiful Melodies - "Eishet Chayil"

The Shabbat Song Project is an Israeli effort to spread the light of Shabbat, with popular singers performing traditional Shabbat melodies with new and eclectic arrangements. The arrangers and singers deserve a lot of credit for their creativity and use of a wide range of instruments and musical styles to present in a new light songs that we usually hear only inside a synagogue.
 
In March we started the series, and shared renditions of Yedid Nefesh and Lecha Dodi, both integral parts of the Kabbalat Shabbat (Welcoming Shabbat) service. Today we're posting their music video of Eishet Chayil (A Woman of Valor), a hymn which is not sung in the synagogue, but in many homes after singing Shalom Aleichem and before saying the Kiddush. Traditionally, a husband sings the song to his wife, extolling her virtues, and expressing thanks for all that his wife has done for him and their family. 

Eishet Chayil is a twenty-two verse poem with which King Solomon concludes the book of Proverbs (Proverbs 31). The poem has an acrostic arrangement in which the verses begin with the letters of the Hebrew alphabet in regular order. The poem describes the woman of valor as one who are is energetic, righteous, and capable.

The transliterated Hebrew text and English translation appear below the video.

Shabbat Shalom!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)
 


Eshet chayil mi yimtza v'rachok mip'ninim michrah
An accomplished woman, who can find? Her value is far beyond pearls.

Batach bah lev ba'lah v'shalal lo yechsar
Her husband's heart relies on her and he shall lack no fortune.

G'malathu tov v'lo ra kol y'mei chayeiha
She does him good and not evil, all the days of her life.

Darshah tzemer ufishtim vata'as b'chefetz kapeiha
She seeks wool and flax, and works with her hands willingly.

Haitah ko'oniyot socher mimerchak tavi lachmah
She is like the merchant ships, she brings her bread from afar.

Vatakom b'od lailah vatiten teref l'vetah v'chok l'na'aroteiha
She arises while it is still night, and gives food to her household and a portion to her maidservants.

Zam'mah sadeh vatikachehu mip'ri chapeiha nat'ah karem
She plans for a field, and buys it. With the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.

Chagrah v'oz motneiha vat'ametz zro'oteiha
She girds her loins in strength, and makes her arms strong.

Ta'amah ki tov sachrah lo yichbeh balailah nerah
She knows that her merchandise is good. Her candle does not go out at night.

Yadeha shilchah vakishor v'chapeiha tamchu felech
She sets her hands to the distaff, and holds the spindle in her hands.

Kapah parsah le'ani v'yadeiha shil'chah la'evyon
She extends her hands to the poor, and reaches out her hand to the needy.

Lo tira l'vetah mishaleg ki chol betah lavush shanim
She fears not for her household because of snow, because her whole household is warmly dressed.

Marvadim astah lah shesh v'argaman l'vushah
She makes covers for herself, her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Noda bash'arim ba'lah b'shivto im ziknei aretz
Her husband is known at the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.

Sadin astah vatimkor vachagor natnah lak'na'ani
She makes a cloak and sells it, and she delivers aprons to the merchant.

Oz v'hadar l'vushah vatischak l'yom acharon
Strength and honor are her clothing, she smiles at the future.

Piha patchah v'chochma v'torat chesed al l'shonah
She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the lesson of kindness is on her tongue.

Tzofi'ah halichot betah v'lechem atzlut lo tochel
She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
 
Kamu vaneha vay'ash'ruha ba'lah vay'hal'lah
Her children rise and praise her, her husband lauds her.

Rabot banot asu chayil v'at alit al kulanah
Many women have done worthily, but you surpass them all.

Sheker hachen v'hevel hayofi ishah yir'at Hashem hi tit'halal
Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears God shall be praised.

T'nu lah mip'ri yadeiha vihal'luha vash'arim ma'aseha
Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

Monsey Woman Sues Lancome Because "24 Hour Makeup" Doesn't Last Through Shabbat

Here's one from our category of "You just can't make this stuff up."

An orthodox Jewish woman from Monsey, New York, filed a suit against French cosmetics manufacturer Lancome because one of their makeup products advertised as lasting 24 hours didn't make it through Shabbat.

As Bruce Golding reported in yesterday's New York Post,

Rorie Weisberg of upstate Monsey says the French luxury-cosmetics maker committed the sin of false advertising when it claimed that its new Teint Idole Ultra 24H provides a full day and night of “lasting perfection.” Because of the product’s failure, she says, she can’t look good and stay holy at the same time.

“The 24-hour claim was central to plaintiff’s purchase decision, as a long-lasting makeup assists with her dual objectives of compliance with religious law and enhancement to her natural appearance,” her suit says.

Court papers say Weisberg “is an Orthodox Jew and abides by Jewish law by not applying makeup from sundown on Friday until nighttime on Saturday.” This means the makeup would have been crucial to helping her keep Jewish law, especially at major family occasions.

“Specifically, plaintiff’s eldest son is having his bar mitzvah celebration in June and plaintiff was looking for a long-lasting foundation that would achieve the foregoing dual objectives over the bar mitzvah Sabbath,” the suit says. It charges that the pricey face paint — $45 for a 1-ounce bottle — “faded significantly” overnight.

The Manhattan federal-court filing accuses Lancome of violating New York business law through “deceptive acts and practices.”The suit seeks unspecified damages from Lancome and parent company L’Oréal on behalf of Weisberg and everyone else who bought the flesh-colored goop, as well as a “corrective advertising campaign.”

"Lancôme strongly believes that this lawsuit has no merit and stands proudly behind our products. We will strenuously contest these allegations in court. Consistent with our practice and policy, however, as this matter is currently in litigation, we cannot comment further," a spokeswoman for L'Oreal said in a statement.

Just before posting this story, we checked Vos Iz Neias, the Haredi web site that also carried the story, and found 66 comments on it, most not supporting the woman who filed the suit. The most common words in these comments? chilul Hashem and narishkeit. 

Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places: African-American Convert Embraces Yiddish Music

New Yiddish singing stars are hard to find these days. Yiddish songs are usually sung by veterans of the old Second Avenue Yiddish theatre circuit and in revivals by theatre groups such as the Folksbiene Playhouse.

Now a new, dynamic opera singer, Anthony Russell, has emerged on the Yiddish singing scene. An African-American from a devout Christian family who became enamored with Judaism, Yiddish, and the work of Sidor Belarsky, the Jewish opera singer and music teacher who was famous in the mid-20th century, Russell has embraced his new religion and the music that gives expression to it.

As Renee Ghert-Zand wrote in The Times of Israel, 

If you think you know what a Yiddish singing star looks like, think again. The new, hot name in the world of Yiddish musical performance is Anthony Russell, and he’s a 33-year-old, 6’1’’ African-American hipster from Oakland, California. Russell, whose full stage name is Anthony Mordechai Tzvi Russell, is a Jew by choice, an opera singer by training, and a Yiddish singer by calling.

Proving that you don’t need to have roots in the shtetls of Eastern Europe to connect deeply with mammeloshen, Russell is quickly gaining notice for his expressive interpretation of Yiddish folk songs and Hassidic niggunim (wordless melodies). 

In this interview, Russell describes his love of all things Jewish, especially Yiddish song, and gives us a few snippets from his Yiddish repertoire.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

The Year of Allan Sherman Starts With a New Biography and Rare Recordings

Attention all Allan Sherman fans: We know you're out there. This is your year. 

This summer will mark the 50th anniversary of the release of Sherman's classic Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah. The parody, describing a boy's experiences at summer camp and set to the Dance of the Hours from Ponchielli's La Gioconda,  became a surprise novelty hit, reaching second place on the Billboard Top 100 list in 1963. 

Next week Brandeis University Press will publish Mark Cohen's biography of Allan Sherman, the early 1960s Jewish song parodist whose surprise national stardom signaled that assimilation was over and ethnicity was back. The book, Overweight Sensation: The Life and Comedy of Allan Sherman (Brandeis Series in American Jewish History, Culture and Life) is now available for pre-order at Amazon  and Barnes & Noble. 

A special feature of the biography is a collection of Sherman's lost Jewish parodies of the great Broadway musicals. He began performing these songs at house parties when he lived in Westchester in the 1950s. 

"What you are about to hear is entitled, Goldeneh Moments from Broadway, is how Sherman introduced these creations. “I said to myself, what would have happened, how would it have been, if all of the great Broadway hits of the great Broadway shows had been written by Jewish people—which they were.” His parodies include "There Is Nothin' Like a Lox," "When You Walk Through the Bronx," "Ollawood" ("Camelot"), "How Are Things With Uncle Morris?" ("How Are Things In Glocca Morra?"), and more.

We've been in touch with the author, who clued us in about the recordings of these lost parodies that he discovered during his research for the book. 

As a tribute to Sherman, we'll be sharing these recordings with you during the next few weeks. Here is the first one, Seventy-Six Sol Cohens, a parody of 76 Trombones from Meredith Willson's The Music Man. It was recorded live on January 18, 1963, in concert at Santa Monica, Calif. (Courtesy of the archive collection of Robert Sherman). 

 Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

A Joke to Start the Week: "Drugstore"

Another Monday morning, another joke to start the work week. Once again we dip into the vast reservoir of jokes from Old Jews Telling Jokes and come up with a familiar joke. The joke teller is 96-year-old Al Leiderman, who retired from his laundry business after more than 50 years.

Here's the setup: A 94-year-old man and a 90-year-old woman from his synagogue decided to get married. Last Sunday they went for a walk along the main street in the town where they live and they passed a drugstore. Chaim said to Sadie: "Wait a few minutes. I have to go inside"

And then...

Enjoy!  

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Lag B'Omer - 49 Facts for 49 Days of the Omer

Today is Lag B'Omer, the 33rd day of the period between Pesach and Shavuot. Around the world, the day is celebrated mainly in Jewish schools with children going on picnics and hikes and playing with toy bows and arrows in the field. In Israel, schools are closed for two days.

At a recent Learning Retreat, Moishe House members collaborated with the G-dcast team of creative film developers to produce a short film, 49 Facts for 49 Days of the Omer. It's a fun film filled with facts (both serious and off-beat) and fast action that captures the spirit of the counting period.

Moishe House is a pluralistic international organization that provides meaningful Jewish experiences to young adults in their 20s. Their innovative model trains, supports and sponsors young Jewish leaders as they create vibrant home-based communities for themselves and their peers.

There are 53 houses worldwide to engage more than 60,000 attendees a year. From Shabbat dinners and Learning Retreats to book clubs and sporting events, residents find ways to connect their peers with community, wherever they are. 

 G-dcast is a non-profit production company dedicated to raising worldwide Jewish literacy using the tools and storytelling style that speak to today’s youth.  

Enjoy the results of their collaboration!

Florida Rabbi Celebrates His Bar Mitzvah 47 Years Late

Rabbi Leonid Feldman celebrated his Bar Mitzvah last month in Temple Beth El in West Palm Beach, Florida, the synagogue where he is the spiritual leader. But next week he's turning 60. Why a Bar Mitzvah celebration now?

As Betty Nelander wrote in the Palm Beach Daily News:

As a 13-year-old growing up in the Soviet Republic of Moldavia, Feldman was denied this opportunity since Jews there could not practice or study Judaism or Jewish culture. He never heard of a bar mitzvah, a synagogue or the Holocaust when he was 13 and living under Communism.

“I say to people: ‘It is unusual. Usually you get bar-mitzvahed and then you become a rabbi. I am going backwards,’ ” said Feldman, who has performed hundreds of bar mitzvahs. “To be honest, there is no law that you have to be bar mitzvahed. Think about it: There are 3 million Russian Jews have never heard about bar mitzvah but they are Jews. A million and a half of them live in Israel and they still don’t know anything about it.

“American Jews take it for granted,” said Feldman.

Leaving behind religious suppression in Russia, Feldman went to Israel for three years. He then traveled to Italy for a year, and arrived in America in 1980. He moved to South Florida in 1988, a year after becoming a U.S. citizen. He was the spiritual leader Temple Emanu-El of Palm Beach for 12 years. He then was the rabbi of Temple Emanu-El in Miami Beach until 2004.

For the first 6 minutes and 20 seconds, he speaks as the thirteen-year-old he was in Kishinev and how he hates his name and hates being a Jew. Then he abruptly shifts to the present and delivers a moving Bar Mitzvah speech about how he loves Judaism and believes that Judaism is the most beautiful thing ever created. 

Enjoy the video. Shabbat shalom.

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)



(A tip of the kippah and a copyof our e-book, Jewish Humor on Your Desktop, Volume 3: Humor in Jewish Life, to Jonathan Minsberg for bringing this video to our attention.)

A Fun Session With the Yiddish Chefs: Mamelige and Popcorn

The Yiddish chefs of the Jewish Daily Forward have been entertaining us with Yiddish banter and cooking sessions ever since their Est Gezunterheit video series started in May 2010. 

We've tried to stay current with the videos, but somehow we missed the second episode, a session in which Rukhl Schaechter and Eve Yochnowitz prepare two corn-based dishes, mamelige (cornmeal mush, similar to polenta) and popcorn.

The popcorn is made the old-fashioned way. Not in a microwave, but in a plain pot with a little oil on the bottom, and shaken while over a low flame on the range. And as the video shows, a little dancing while shaking the pot doesn't hurt.

In the middle of the episode, they conduct an experiment, adding popcorn to a full-to-the-top glass of milk, and we watch the popcorn being absorbed by the milk without overflowing. As they mix the mamelige, they get carried away and sing Rumania, Rumania, the classic Yiddish theater song that includes a reference to mamelige.

As usual, we pick up a few new Yiddish words while we're watching.

Cornmeal mush = Mamelige 
Corn = Kukuruze
Rye Bread = Kornbroyt
Whisk = Schum Shlugger
Popcorn = Kakoshes
Popping = Knocken

Try the popcorn and milk experiment with your children and grandchildren, and enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Comedy Down Memory Lane: Another Stand-up Routine From Myron Cohen in 1951

In January we posted an old comedy clip by veteran comedian Myron Cohen from a performance in 1978. If you think that was old, take a look at this recently discovered longer routine which Cohen performed on The Kate Smith Show back in 1951.

In this video, Cohen touches on the immigrant experience in New York, Florida, and California, delivering his jokes with thick Yiddish and Italian accents.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.) 

Funny Israeli Commercials: A Big Hamburger For a Special Visitor

US Secret Service agents rush to a home in Israel and escort a young man living there into a black limousine. Then they enter a movie theater and pull out a young woman. Then it's on to a nightclub where they remove another young woman.

What's going on? It seems that it's after closing time at McDonald's, and a late night opening is needed. All three work there, the destination of the convoy of black limos carrying a special passenger. After checking the meat and the fries, the agents give the go-ahead to the three to serve one of the new Big America hamburgers to the passenger.

Who is he? You've probably guessed by now.

McDonald's operates 170 restaurants in Israel, 40 of which are under kosher supervision. According to Wikipedia, all use kosher beef, but the ones not under supervision are open on Shabbat and Jewish holidays and also serve dairy products.

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)



(A tip of the kippah to Esther Kustanowitz for bringing this video to our attention.)

A Joke to Start the Week: "Generosity"

It's been a few weeks since we had a joke to start the week. Our tradition of a new old joke every Monday was interrupted by Passover and holidays in Israel, but now it's back to our regular schedule.

Today's joke, like most of the others we've run, comes from Old Jews Telling Jokes. The joke teller is Larry Zicklin, a 76-year-old Clinical Professor at New York University's Stern School of Business.

Here's the setup: Max finishes playing a round of golf at his golf club. He showers, shaves, and is getting dressed when the cell phone next to him rings. And then...

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

A Nostalgic Look Back at Jewish Comedy On Second Avenue

In 2005 the Folksbiene Yiddish Theatre staged a tribute to the Jewish comedy performed in the early twentieth century on Second Avenue on the Lower East Side of New York City. The show included some classic skits from the Yiddish theatre.

On Second Avenue was created by Moishe Rosenfeld and Zalmen Mlotek. The bi-lingual English-Yiddish musical revue also starred Joanne Borts, Lisa Fishman and Robert Abelson. It featured the songs of Yiddish composers such as Abraham Goldfaden, Sholom Secunda, Alexander Olshanetzky and Yosef Rumshinsky, and excerpts from landmark shows.

Videos of these skits are rare, but we found one featuring Lisa Fishman as a friend visiting Mr. Blitz in the hospital. This is the hospital visit from hell, one that we don't wish on anybody. But it's funny.

Enjoy!
 
(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Maccabeats Channel Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah in Lecha Dodi

The Maccabeats, the Yeshiva University a cappella group, has become known for its high quality singing, especially around the Jewish Holidays. But their repertoire also includes liturgical music, such as this beautiful rendition of Lecha Dodi, the focal point of the Friday night Kabbalat Shabbat (Welcoming of the Sabbath) service.

We referenced this song, the Maccabeats' breakthrough hit, in previous posts, but never actually posted a video of it in an on-stage performance. It has been set to many melodies. So here it is, channeling Leonard Cohen's signature song, Hallelujah. 

We find this combination of words and music particularly inspiring, and we hope you'll enjoy it too as we welcome Shabbat tonight. Scroll down below the video to see the lyrics in Hebrew, English, and in transliteration.

Shabbat shalom.

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

	English translation	Transliteration	Hebrew
Chorus:
1	Let’s go, my beloved, to meet the bride,	Lekhah dodi liqrat kallah	לכה דודי לקראת כלה
2	and let us welcome the presence of Shabbat.	p'nei Shabbat neqabelah	פני שבת נקבלה
Verse 1:
3	"Observe" and "recall" in a single utterance,	Shamor v'zakhor b'dibur eḥad	שמור וזכור בדבור אחד
4	We were made to hear by the unified God,	hishmiʿanu El hameyuḥad	השמיענו אל המיחד
5	God is one and God’s Name is one,	Adonai eḥad ushemo eḥad	יי אחד ושמו אחד
6	In fame and splendor and praiseful song.	L'Sheim ulitiferet v'lit'hilah	לשם ולתפארת ולתהלה
Verse 2:
7	To greet Shabbat let’s go, let’s travel,	Liqrat Shabbat lekhu v'nelekhah	לקראת שבת לכו ונלכה
8	For she is the wellspring of blessing,	ki hi maqor haberakhah	כי היא מקור הברכה
9	From the start, from ancient times she was chosen,	merosh miqedem nesukhah	מראש מקדם נסוכה
10	Last made, but first planned.	sof maʿaseh b'maḥashavah teḥilah	סוף מעשה במחשבה תחלה
Verse 3:
11	Sanctuary of the king, royal city,	Miqdash melekh ʿir melukhah	מקדש מלך עיר מלוכה
12	Arise! Leave from the midst of the turmoil;	Qumi tze'i mitokh ha-hafeikhah	קומי צאי מתוך ההפכה
13	Long enough have you sat in the valley of tears	Rav lakh shevet b'ʿeimeq habakha	רב לך שבת בעמק הבכא
14	And He will take great pity upon you compassionately.	v'hu yaḥamol ʿalayikh ḥemlah	והוא יחמול עליך חמלה
Verse 4:
15	Shake yourself free, rise from the dust,	Hitnaʿari me'afar qumi	התנערי מעפר קומי
16	Dress in your garments of splendor, my people,	Livshi bigdei tifartekh ʿami	לבשי בגדי תפארתך עמי
17	By the hand of Jesse’s son of Bethlehem,	ʿAl yad ben Yishai beit ha-laḥmi	על יד בן ישי בית הלחמי
18	Redemption draws near to my soul.	Qorvah el nafshi g'alah	קרבה אל נפשי גאלה
Verse 5:
19	Rouse yourselves! Rouse yourselves!	Hitʿoreri hitʿoreri	התעוררי התעוררי
20	Your light is coming, rise up and shine.	Ki va oreikh qumi ori	כי בא אורך קומי אורי
21	Awaken! Awaken! utter a song,	ʿUri ʿuri shir dabeiri	עורי עורי שיר דברי
22	The glory of the Lord is revealed upon you.	K'vod Adonai ʿalayikh niglah	כבוד יי עליך נגלה
Verse 6:
23	Do not be embarrassed! Do not be ashamed!	Lo tivoshi v'lo tikalmi	לא תבושי ולא תכלמי
24	Why be downcast? Why groan?	Mah tishtoḥai umah tehemi	מה תשתוחחי ומה תהמי
25	All my afflicted people will find refuge within you	bakh yeḥesu ʿaniyei ʿami	בך יחסו עניי עמי
26	And the city shall be rebuilt on her hill.	v'nivnetah ʿir ʿal tilah	ונבנתה עיר על תלה
Verse 7:
27	Your despoilers will become your spoil,	V'hayu limshisah shosayikh	והיו למשסה שאסיך
28	Far away shall be any who would devour you,	V'raḥaqu kol mevalʿayikh	ורחקו כל מבלעיך
29	Your God will rejoice concerning you,	Yasis ʿalayikh Elohayikh	ישיש עליך אלהיך
30	As a groom rejoices over a bride.	Kimsos ḥatan ʿal kalah	כמשוש חתן על כלה
Verse 8:
31	To your right and your left you will burst forth,	Yamin usmol tifrotzi	ימין ושמאל תפרוצי
32	And the Lord will you revere	V'et Adonai taʿaritzi	ואת יי תעריצי
33	By the hand of a child of Perez,	ʿAl yad ish ben Partzi	על יד איש בן פרצי
34	We will rejoice and sing happily.	V'nismeḥah v'nagilah	ונשמחה ונגילה
Verse 9:
35	Come in peace, crown of her husband,	Boi v'shalom ateret baʿalah	בואי בשלום עטרת בעלה
36	Both in happiness and in jubilation	Gam b'simḥah uvetzahalah	גם בשמחה ובצהלה
37	Amidst the faithful of the treasured nation	Tokh emunei ʿam segulah	תוך אמוני עם סגלה
38	Come O Bride! Come O Bride!	Boi khalah boi khalah	בואי כלה בואי כלה

A Comedy Classic: Woody Allen Standup From 1965

After a wonderful month in Jerusalem, we're back home. We hope you enjoyed the posts that focused on Passover, Israeli holidays, Israeli music and dance and food. We'll be back with more of that as part of our mix, but it's time to get back to our roots -- Jewish humor.

What better way than to revisit some of the classic comedy routines by Jewish comedians (are there any other kind?).

Many of us know Woody Allen as an actor, producer, and director, but don't remember his origins as a standup comedian. We discovered this rare video of Woody performing one of his routines in 1965. Not only is this a classic ten minutes of nonstop comedy, but it includes one of his most famous routines, telling of how he shot a moose. It starts at seven minutes into the routine, and is really worth watching.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Mystery Solved: When and Why Haredi Man Flew in Plane Covered in Huge Plastic Bag

Photo: Reddit

At Jewish Humor Central we strive to report funny news when it occurs, and at the same time we strive to be respectful of all aspects of Judaism (and other religions as well.) But when an incident occurs that fits the "unbelievable but true" category and validates our saying that "you just can't make this stuff up" we feel duty bound to share it, especially when it goes viral over the internet in a matter of hours.

In the last few days, major, minor, and internet media have all printed and posted a photo of a Haredi man on a plane completely covered in a plastic bag, which some media have characterized as a full body condom.

At first it was reported that the reason for the plastic bag was that he wanted to avoid any contact with women, but later reports indicated that he is a Kohen, and did it to comply with a halachic ruling by the late rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv that Kohanim must cover themselves in plastic when flying over a cemetery to avoid becoming tamei, or impure.

For a few days, conflicting stories were being told about the incident. One said the plastic bag was to avoid contact with women. Another said it was to prevent him from coming in contact with bread on Passover. An El Al spokeswoman said that the photo was likely ten years old but didn't deny that it was a real photo. About ten years ago there was a similar incident that led El Al to decide not to allow ultra-Orthodox Jews of priestly descent to "hermetically seal themselves in plastic bags when flying over the Holon cemetery in order to avoid ritual impurity."

El Al stated "flight safety considerations do not allow for passengers to board while covered in sealed plastic bags."

Nevertheless, in 2002 a flight crew got into a heated dispute with a Haredi passenger who attempted to fly wrapped in plastic, according to Haaretz. The confrontation eventually led the pilot to turn the plane around.

The mystery appears to have been solved yesterday when the man in the story gave an interview to YnetNews.com, the internet site of the Israeli newspaper Yediot Aharonot. In the interview, he acknowledged that the photo is real, the flight to Israel took place before Passover, and that he wrapped himself in plastic simply to follow his rabbi's orders not to fly over cemeteries.  

As Itzchak Tessler reported,

The Kohen, formerly a secular Jew who embraced Orthodox Judaism and asked to remain anonymous, told Ynet of his long service in the Israel Defense Forces, where he held sensitive posts. In 1983, as a show of appreciation, the Air Force commander gave him the "opportunity to study in a yeshiva at the expense of the Air Force, which paid my salary for the two and a half years I studied in the yeshiva."

After his studies, he returned to the army for 10 more years – "an unprecedented move in the Air Force," he says.