Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
It's been a hot summer week, and it looks like we've got another hot one coming. But it's another Monday and we'll try to cool off with a joke to start the week. Here's an oldie but goodie from the folks who brought us Old Jews Telling Jokes. Today's joke teller is Writer/Producer Michael Miller. Here's the setup: This guy goes to prison and he's very scared. The first day he's sitting at lunch and when lunch is over he sees one of the inmates get up on the table and he says "32." And then... Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR
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On June 26 we attended the finals of The Jewish Week's 18th Annual Funniest Jewish Comic Contest at the Broadway Comedy Club in Manhattan. The contest has been run by Geoff Kole for the last 15 years.
After more than two hours of comedy performances by host Steve Marshall, seven contest entrants, and seasoned stand-up comedians Stewie Stone and Corey Kahaney, the judges declared that the winner was George Saltz, a clinical psychologist who first tried stand-up comedy in the Catskills when he was 18 years old. As Alan Zeitlin wrote in The Jewish Week,
The 81-year-old from Ardsley, in
Westchester, said he panicked when he had a set in the Catskills and was
promptly fired. But he was fired up to get back in comedy two years
ago. He took a class in comedy writing and began performing at open mic
nights. This time he was calm and collected as he fired off zingers on
the theme of the old generation versus the new.
“This was not a good day for me,” he told the crowd. “I found out I was
unfriended. Not on Facebook. I read it in the obituaries.”
We'll share the stand-up comedy of some of the other contestants in the coming weeks.
Enjoy!
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Eishet Chayil (A Woman of Valor) is a hymn which is sung Friday night in many homes after singing Shalom Aleichem and before saying the Kiddush. Traditionally, a husband sings the song to his wife, extolling her virtues, and expressing thanks for all that his wife has
done for him and their family.
Eishet Chayil is a twenty-two verse poem with which King Solomon
concludes the book of Proverbs (Proverbs 31). The poem has an acrostic
arrangement in which the verses begin with the letters of the Hebrew
alphabet in regular order. The poem describes the woman of valor as one
who are is energetic, righteous, and capable.
This is a new version of the song by Harp & Love – a musical group from Israel that specializes in wedding music. It's set to the music of the Beatles' John Lennon. It includes only five of the twenty-two verses.The transliterated Hebrew text and English translation appear below the video.
Enjoy and Shabbat Shalom!
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Eshet chayil mi yimtza v'rachok mip'ninim michrah
An accomplished woman, who can find? Her value is far beyond pearls.
Batach bah lev ba'lah v'shalal lo yechsar
Her husband's heart relies on her and he shall lack no fortune.
Rabot banot asu chayil v'at alit al kulanah Many women have done worthily, but you surpass them all.
Sheker hachen v'hevel hayofi ishah yir'at Hashem hi tit'halal Charm is deceptive and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears God shall be praised.
T'nu lah mip'ri yadeiha vihal'luha vash'arim ma'aseha Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
Every Thursday is Throwback
Thursday and each week we relish the opportunity to do a deep dive into the
treasure chest of old funny video clips.
Today we're diving into the Your
Show of Shows collection to share a classic skit starring Sid Caesar,
Imogene Coca, Carl Reiner, and Howard Morris.
The singing recital begins with
Coca and Morris seated and Reiner playing the piano. Caesar, a few minutes
late, makes his entrance, and punctures the decorum with noises of all types.
Enjoy!
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"A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar" or a car or just about anyplace else. That's the way a whole genre of jokes begins. Most of them are old and you've probably heard most of them. But they can still bring a laugh.
Some of our readers have been asking for more jokes in addition to our Monday "Joke to Start the Week" feature. So here we go with a midweek joke...actually a series of five of them. Actors Ron Rogge and Warren Davis unleash a barrage of Priest and Rabbi jokes in various settings, at home, in a pool, and finally at the wedding that they've been looking forward to all week. The film was produced as an entry in the 48 Hour Film Project, an annual team competition to write, produce, and edit a short video from 7 pm Friday to 7 pm Sunday. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR
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Eddie Cantor (1892-1964), born Edward Israel Iskowitz, was an American "illustrated song" performer, comedian, dancer, singer, actor, and songwriter.
Familiar to Broadway, radio, movie, and early television audiences, he was regarded almost as a family member by millions
because his top-rated radio shows revealed intimate stories and amusing
anecdotes about his wife Ida and five daughters.
Some of his hits
include "Makin' Whoopee", "Ida", "Yes! We Have No Bananas", "If You Knew Susie", "Ma! He's Makin' Eyes at Me", "Baby", "Margie", and "How Ya Gonna Keep 'em Down on the Farm (After They've Seen Paree)?" He also wrote a few songs, including "Merrily We Roll Along", the Merrie Melodies Warner Bros. cartoon theme.
In one of the earliest experiments with synchronized sound, Eddie Cantor
does his vaudeville act (stand-up comedy and songs) against a plain
backdrop.
If you'd like to get a taste of what old-time
Vaudeville was like, take a look at this fascinating and amusing talkie
short. Headliner Eddie Cantor delivers a six-minute routine consisting
of several jokes, two songs, and one comic poem, performed before a
black backdrop in an empty studio.
It's too bad the filmmakers couldn't
have captured him in front of a live audience-- as it is, Eddie's jokes
are met with eerie silence --but at least George Olsen's terrific dance
band was present (off-camera) to provide jaunty jazz accompaniment. This
short captures Cantor's act at the point when his career was really
taking off, when he was starring in the Broadway musical comedy "Kid
Boots," produced by legendary showman Flo Ziegfeld.
The film was made at
the midtown Manhattan studio of Lee De Forest, pioneer of the
sound-on-film process known as 'Phonofilm.' Between 1922 and 1926 De
Forest made dozens of talkie shorts featuring prominent performers such
as Cantor, DeWolf Hopper, Weber & Fields, Eubie Blake, etc., films
that are invaluable records of the great stage stars of the day. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR
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Today is the Fourth of July. But it's also Monday, the day we run our Joke to Start the Week. So what's a blogger to do?
After careful consideration, we ran our Fourth of July post yesterday on July 3, letting us post a joke today so as not to disappoint our Monday joke followers.
For today's joke, we once again turn to Michael Hirsch, who's become a Jewish Humor Central regular.
Michael, an investment advisor for individuals and institutions, is a graduate of Brooklyn
College, Class of '66. He attended Telshe Yeshiva during high school and Yeshiva
Netzach Yisrael during college. When he's not telling jokes, Michael enjoys participating in triathlons.
Here's
the setup for today's joke: This man is suffering from constant headaches, so he goes to his doctor. The doctor runs some exams, checks him out, and then... Enjoy!
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Tomorrow is the Fourth of July, a holiday that we celebrate with Americans of all religions and ethnic groups.
As
the world is riven today by national rivalries, hatreds, and acts of
unspeakable cruelty, we can take comfort in the knowledge that the
United States of America and Israel share a value system that is truly
exceptional.
A few years ago, Angela Buchwald and Julia Katz, the cantors of New York City's Central Synagogue, added a mashup of Hatikvah and America the Beautiful to a Shabbat service to give voice to the hope and vision that these two countries have shared from their birth. Have a happy Fourth tomorrow and enjoy the music.
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Reading the Wall Street Journal this week, we came across an interesting article by reporter Ralph Gardner Jr., who writes the regular column Urban Gardner. In exploring his Jewish roots and his city, Gardner writes from time to time about unusual and unexpected Jewish presence in New York. This week he wrote about Kehila Kedosha Janina, the last remaining Greek Romaniote synagogue in the Western Hemisphere, located on Broome Street on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Like him, we had never heard of Romaniote Jews. With the help of Gardner's visit to the shul and some Googling and YouTube searching, we got a bit of an education that we're sharing with you this erev Shabbat. As Gardner wrote,
It’s a community of Greek Jews more than 2,000 years old. They came to
the U.S. starting in the early 1900s; the synagogue on the Lower East
Side opened in 1927.
The congregation is named after the town of Ioannina (Janina) in
Greece. According to legend, Jews swam ashore there in the year 70,
escaping from a Roman slave ship.
Geographically isolated, the
community developed traditions and remained Greek speaking even after
the post-1492 influx of Jews expelled from Spain during the Inquisition.
Ms.
Ikonomopoulos said it’s impossible to say how many belong to the
congregation because there isn’t paid membership. However, there are
enough members to hold services and everyone is welcome. “We have become
the center for Romaniote Judaism in the world,” she added.
In this video, members of the congregation talk about the synagogue and its place in their lives.
Enjoy!
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Victor
Borge was a Danish comedian, conductor and pianist who
achieved great popularity in radio and television in the United States
and Europe. His blend of music and comedy earned him the nickname "The
Clown Prince of Denmark","The Unmelancholy Dane", and "The Great Dane."
We featured him last year in our series The Great Jewish Comedians. Borge had many funny approaches to music. One of his most famous was his invention of phonetic puncuation. His unique approach to inserting commas, periods, question marks and exclamation points made every song hilarious. In this video from 1968, Borge visits Dean Martin on his TV show and teaches him the basics. Then they try the technique out on a few songs, with hilarious results. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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In November 2014, over two
thousand young people gathered near downtown Jerusalem to celebrate life. The
"Simply Sing" initiative, which began at the Hebrew University of
Jerusalem, aims at bringing Jews and Arabs together through shared cultural
events. “Simply Sing” is a Jerusalem-based
cross-cultural project that has Jews and Arabs meet every few weeks for an
evening of musical performances and singing. The project has gained much
popularity as well as opposition from both Arabs and Jews during its four and a
half years of existence. Facilitators taught songs and
invited participants to sing along in both Hebrew and Arabic. The event was
headlined by singer Lubna Salame and the Yemen Blues band, who together created
a special joint performance for the event.
Yemen Blues is led by singer Ravid Kahalani, who combines the ancient Jewish
melodies of his birthplace in Yemen with West African, funk and mambo
influences. Time Out Chicago wrote that Yemen Blues is "one of the most
exciting bands in world music right now.”
Lubna Salame, originally from Haifa, is a resident singer with the Nazareth
Orchestra. She started her career as a child, singing classical Arabic songs
with a church choir, and became an instant star after her first concert at the
2000 Israel Festival.
In addition to the music, poetry and dancing, food played a major role in the
evening's success. A food truck featured two chefs, one Arab-Israeli, the other
Jewish-Israeli, who worked together to create fusion dishes that reflected both
their cultures (gefilte fish with knafeh anyone?). Chef Elias Mattar from the
northern Galilee region and Chef Marcus Gershkowitz, co-owner of Jerusalem's
famous Angelica restaurant, demonstrated cuisine from their kitchens.
Arab and Jewish DJs performed in a number of downtown bars during the after
party, proving once again the power of music to break down boundaries. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS: THE VIDEO MAY NOT
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Last week we featured Albert Brooks as one of the great Jewish comedians. Today it's his father's turn. Albert's father, Harry Einstein (1904-1958) was known professionally by a multitude of pseudonyms, most commonly Parkyakarkus. He was an American comedian,
writer, and character actor.
A specialist in Greek dialect comedy, he
became famous as the Greek chef Nick Parkyakarkus on the Eddie Cantor and Al Jolson
radio programs, and later on a program of his own. He appeared in
eleven films as Parkyakarkas, or Parkyarkarkas, from 1936 to 1945.
In 1944 (Yes, that was 72 years ago) he appeared in a wartime musical comedy, Sweethearts of the USA, also starring Una Merkel. The song You Can't Brush Off a Russian was written by Lew Pollack and Charles Newman.
Enjoy!
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It's the first Monday of summer, and our goal is to fill it and all the Mondays of summer with jokes to get each week off to a good start. Today's joke, from the files of Old Jews Telling Jokes, is told by television writer/producer and visiting professor Fred Rubin, takes place during World War II.
Here's the setup: During the height of World War II two Jewish soldiers are assigned a dangerous mission of wiring a bridge to explode. And on this bridge they know for a fact that Hitler and his motorcade will be passing over this bridge at 4:30. And then...
Enjoy!
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There's something about Hava Nagila that appeals to cultures around the world, and most of them are not Jewish. Since we started Jewish Humor Central seven years ago, we've posted more than 50 versions from the Americas to countries all over Europe and Asia. Three of these are from Thailand, a country which seems to find the music alluring and perfect for exotic dancing. Today we're sharing a fourth version from Thailand, performed by seven exotic dancers and a band that includes two conga drums. Go figure. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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One of the benefits of surfing the Internet for Jewish content every day is that occasionally we run across new performers and new songs. That's what happened today when we came upon an original song by Buzzy Walters titled The Jewish Holiday Song. In his composition, Walters manages to include all of the months of the Jewish calendar and the holidays and commemorations they contain. With each mention of a holiday or observance, he includes traces of melodies that we associate with them. Not just the High Holidays, Passover, and Chanukah, but also Shavuot, Tu Bishvat, Tisha B'Av, Yom HaAtzmaut, and Yom Hashoah. We don't know Buzzy and never heard his music before, but we hope that featuring him on Jewish Humor Central gives him more of an audience and encourages him to keep on composing new songs on Jewish themes.
Enjoy and Shabbat Shalom!
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Every Thursday is Throwback Thursday and each week we relish the opportunity to do a deep dive into the treasure chest of old funny video clips .
Two years ago we posted a segment of Johnny Carson's Tonight Show from 1984 where Buddy Hackett talked about
the TV censors denying his First Amendment rights to use a three letter
word meaning "buttocks." He launched into two jokes that illustrated his
point.
We found the second part of that segment where Buddy tells a few more on the same theme. But don't worry, he may get close to the line where censors would pounce but he doesn't cross it. Enjoy!
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Now You Can Book Engaging Multimedia Programs for 2026 and 2027 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2026 and 2027 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 26 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, go to www.jewishhumorlive.com
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
A Sukkot Miracle
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Fitting for this holiday, yesterday we witnessed a miracle tale of airline
pilots, heroes, and bravery.
Here is the amazing story:
Captain Smit Machchh...
The Sukkah: Our Effort and Our Trust in Hashem
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by R. Eliezer Simcha Weisz There is something striking about the way we
celebrate Sukkot. For seven days, we leave the security and comfort of our
homes an...
Was Benoît Mandelbrot Jewish?
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Yes, Benoît Mandelbrot was a Jew. The Times obituary says he, "was born on
Nov. 20, 1924, to a Lithuanian Jewish family in Warsaw. In 1936 his family
fled ...
Thoughts on the Haggadah by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum
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[image: Story 375601404]
We just recently were able to find the latest version of my fathers, Rabbi
Eli Teitelbaum Z”L, thoughts on the Haggadah and conve...
Hamantaschen: The Symbolism behind Purim Cookies
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Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
book of Esther reading. Every Jewish holiday focuses on a special dish and
the tria...
Thank you for your support!
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Thank you very much for supporting our work at The Muqata. We appreciate
your contribution and hope to be able to keep bringing you the most up to
date ...
Boarding School Massachusetts
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Every fall the Massachusetts Health Connector provides information
concerning the public higher education institutions and designed to prevent
offenders ...
A chat with some protesters…
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Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Jerusalem Walking Tours for Sukkot
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It is about time that I brought back my “Jerusalem: Meet Jerusalem” walking
tour series. And while I am nearing completion on a few new ones that I
hope to...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...