"Eight Days" - Chanukah In Israel - A New Musical Video By Nefesh B'Nefesh

Last year before Chanukah, Nefesh B'Nefesh, the organization that each year provides assistance to thousands of Jews making Aliyah to Israel, released a video of a flash mob of 150 people singing in organized spontaneity in the streets of Jerusalem.  We posted the video, and a week later, another video showing how the first video was made.

We wondered what they were going to do for an encore.  Yesterday, Nefesh B'Nefesh released a new Hanukkah video called Eight Days, a parody of the song One Day, by the Chassidic reggae singer Matisyahu.  Earlier this year NBC selected this song as the theme of their coverage of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver and we profiled Matisyahu and One Day in a Jewish Humor Central blog post in February.  Enjoy!

 
(A tip of the kippah to Esther Kustanowitz for bringing this video to our attention.)

Jewnion Label Debuts Funny New Mythical Union Clothing For Hanukkah

Back in February we introduced you to the Jewnion Label line of T-shirts, sweatshirts, mugs, aprons, and other items emblazoned with funny mock union labels such as Union of Jewish Handymen and International Order of Challah Makers.

Now, just in time for Chanukah, the line has been expanded to 17 mock unions, guilds, associations and federations including the Loyal Order of the Latke and the International Association of Dreidel Spinners.

 

Each design is available on the clothing, aprons, mugs, buttons, water bottles, tote bags, and 12 of the unions are represented on a 2011 wall calendar.

The designs include:

Loyal Order of the Latke

International Association of Dreidel Spinners

International Order of Challah Makers

Amalgamated Menschen International

Union of Jewish Handymen

Union of Jewish Handywomen

Guild of Jewish Mothers

B.O.O.T.H.S. International:  Sukkah Builders

United Apple Dippers and Honey Drippers

International Federation of Shofar Blowers

Associated Jewish Outdoorsmen

Associated Jewish Outdoorswomen

Benevolent Brotherhood of the B'rit Milah

Allied Matzo Ball Makers League

Federated Gefilte Fish Grinders & Fressers Guild

International Assocation of B'nei Mitzvah

United Hamantaschen Makers and Fressers

Jewnion Label, launched in early 2010, is the brainchild of husband and wife Joshua and Stacey Abarbanel.  Joshua Abarbanel is a visual artist, curator, and a professor of art,specializing in new media. He is co-author/co-designer of the 2007 book A Field Guide to Household Bugs: It’s a Jungle in Here, and a member of the Jewish Artists Initiative of Southern California. 

Stacey Abarbanel is director of external affairs for a Los Angeles museum. She is author of the first and second editions of the Newcomer’s Handbook for Los Angeles.

Tracing the origins of the Jewnion Label, the Abarbanels say on their website:

Our logos owe a nod of appreciation to vintage trade emblems, which we admire for their graphic design.  But also, we note that in medieval times European Jews were often denied access to trade guilds and land ownership -- perhaps that's why so many of us "call the guy" -- so there's some poetic justice in Jewnion label "rising up" (See the logo for the International Order of Challah Makers) and celebrating our many quirks, customs, holidays, and traditions.

All of the Jewnion label products are available online at the Cafe Press website.  They are currently offering $3 off a $30 purchase by using the coupon code PRETG3 through Monday, November 15.

How Do You Say Shabbat Shalom?

It's been a busy week at Jewish Humor Central.  We started with a review of the Chanukah story, took a funny look at Israel Passport Control, joined 4500 Chabad rabbis at their international conference, made potato latkes with the Bubbe, and took a walk down memory lane with Allan Sherman and his song parody albums.  

Now we need a rest, and isn't that what Shabbat is for?  So we'll join in with all the men, women, boys, girls, and Elmo, who were invited by the National Jewish Outreach Program to participate in this video and wish you all a Shabbat Shalom or Good Shabbos, whichever you prefer.  On Sunday we'll be back with some more gift ideas for Chanukah as we count down to the first candle on December 1. 

Allan Sherman CDs Re-Released In Time For Chanukah Listening And Giving

Do you remember what happened on the night of August 6, 1962?  It depends how much of an Allan Sherman fan you are.  That's the night on which the comedian-writer turned folksinger recorded all ten tracks on his first record album, My Son the Folksinger.

Sherman went on to dominate the world of song parody during the 1960s and recorded seven more albums.  Listening to or reading his lyrics is a crash course in pop culture of the 1960s, with Sherman taking satiric swipes at summer camp, psychiatry, fad diets, Hadassah ladies, school dropouts, and upward mobility.

Music publicist Conqueroo recently reported that all eight Allan Sherman Warner Bros. albums have been remastered and released as CDs.  They're available at Amazon.com and other music stores.

Writing for Conqueroo, publicist Cary Baker reports:

The digitally remastered albums include My Son, the Folk Singer; My Son, the Celebrity; My Son, the Nut; Allan in Wonderland; For Swingin' Livers Only!; My Name Is Allan; Allan Sherman Live! (Hoping You Are the Same); and Togetherness and feature newly written liner notes by Barry “Dr. Demento" Hansen.

Sherman's musical career started when his career as a television producer ("The Steve Allen Show," “I've Got a Secret") came to a close. He had recorded a handful of Borscht Belt song parodies in the '50s for Jubilee Records in his native New York and decided to take up where he'd left off. Having relocated to Los Angeles, Sherman was signed to Warner Bros. Records by A&R man and arranger-conductor Lou Busch. The recording session for what would become My Son, the Folk Singer took place where his next six albums would be recorded -- Radio Recorders on Hollywood's McCadden Place, where he was joined by six musicians, six singers, and a live audience of 100, seated in folding chairs, who noshed and imbibed. “I wanted it to be like a party," he later wrote in his autobiography. The crowd laughter became an essential part of the Allan Sherman sound.

Here's Sherman's most popular song, Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah.  Enjoy!

 

Baker describes the eight Allan Sherman reissues on Collectors' Choice Music as follows:

- My Son, The Folk Singer: Sherman recorded his #1 debut album one night on August 6, 1962 with arranger Lou Busch at Hollywood's Radio Recorders before a live audience of friends including Johnny Mercer, Theo Bikel and Pat Carroll. As reissue annotator Dr. Demento writes, “He had developed a style that somehow preserved the soul of Jewish humor but made it sound all-American." The album contains such Sherman gems as “Sarah Jackman" (based on “Frre Jacques"), “My Zelda" ("Matilda"), “The Streets of Miami" ("The Streets of Laredo"), “Seltzer Boy" ("Water Boy") and “Oh Boy" ("Chiapanecas"). The album sold so fast that when Warner Bros. ran out of album jackets, they continued to sell the vinyl alone.

- My Son, The Celebrity: At 37, Allan Sherman, the portly ex-TV producer, was suddenly famous. In the space of three sessions in late 1962, he and Busch again invited friends to the studio, supplying folding chairs, hors d'oeuvres and an open bar. The resulting album featured “Harvey and Sheila" (set to the tune of “Hava Nagila"), painting a portrait of the emerging suburban Jewish upper middle class ("They bought a house one day/Financed by FHA/It had a swimming pool/Full of H20/Traded their used MG/For a new XKE/Switched to the GOP/That's the way things go"). The second album, which also reached #1, also included “Mexican Hat Dance," “The Let's All Call Up AT&T and Protest to the President March," “Won't You Come Home Disraeli" and “Barry Is the Baby's Name/Horowitz/Get on the Garden Freeway."

- My Son, The Nut: Sherman's fan base now including President John F. Kennedy and Harpo Marx. The parodist once told Busch he wanted to record with a full orchestra, which Busch thought was indeed nuts, but agreed to add concert strings and brass to the mix for this 1963 album. Featured here is “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh," sung from the vantage point of a malcontented kid at overnight camp. The Los Angeles Times called it “pure craft . . . Sherman clearly tapped not only his son's experience that summer but the . . . terror of a child separated from his parents." Other tracks included “You Went the Wrong Way Old King Louie," “Automation," “I See Bones," “Hungarian Goulash No. 5," “Here's to the Crabgrass," “Rat Fink" and “Hail to Thee, Fat Person." The album held the #1 spot for eight weeks.

- Allan in Wonderland: Sherman's 1964 album didn't reach #1 -- the Beatles appeared on Ed Sullivan three weeks after its release, thereby changing the pop charts forever -- but Allan Sherman's fourth album stood up well against its chart-topping forebears. In fact its humor might even have been a little more pointed, most notably “The Dropouts March," which took a particularly cynical look at educators' well-meaning efforts to keep kids in school. With psychiatry a popular topic for comedians in the early '60s, Sherman provided “You Need an Analyst," based on “I've Got a Little List" from The Mikado. The album maxed at #25 on the album chart.

- For Swingin' Livers Only: The album title was an homage to Frank Sinatra's famous 1956 album Songs For Swingin' Lovers. And indeed Sherman made no bones about on which side of the popular music divide he stood with “Pop Hates the Beatles" (to the tune of “Pop Goes the Weasel"). Also included are “The Twelve Gifts of Christmas," “Grow, Mrs. Goldfarb," “Your Mother's Here to Stay," “Pills," “Shine On Harvey Bloom," “Beautiful Teamsters" and “Bye Bye Blumberg." Although one of his most fertile periods for parody, the November 1964 release reached only #32 on the charts. Sherman kept himself in the public eye, appearing on the “Tonight Show" and authoring articles that year for Playboy, TV Guide, The Saturday Evening Post and New York Magazine.

- My Name is Allan: The fad nutrition book of 1965 was The Drinking Man's Diet, which advanced the peculiar notion that consuming alcohol would ease the stress of dieting and therefore promote weight loss -- a notion that Sherman ran with on this, his final charting album. Featured were “The Drinking Man's Diet" (not a song parody buy rather an original penned by Sherman and arranger Neil Hefti, who also composed the “Batman" theme), “It's a Most Unusual Play," “Peyton Place, USA," “The Laarge Daark Aardvark Song" and “The Painless Dentist." The humor also extends to the album title and cover -- being Jewish is about the only thing Allan Sherman and Barbara Streisand had in common. The album stalled at #88 on the Billboard chart, and was the last album recorded at a Hollywood studio with invited guests in folding chairs.

- Allan Sherman Live! (Hoping You Are the Same): Sparks, Nevada's Nugget hotel/casino was not exactly Carnegie Hall. But after years of recording before invited guests at recording studios, this 1966 release was his first recorded in concert. This was not a rehash of greatest hits, however. Sherman premiered new material -- much of it a minute or less in length -- alongside a few of his best-loved songs. Included are “How Van Nuys Got Its Name," “Smog Gets in Your Eyes," “The Learner's Brassiere," “Mononucleosis," “Scotch and/or Water," “Sorry 'Bout That" and “In Which I Finally Admit That I Won World War II Single-Handed" and “Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh -- Nevada Style," complete with a shout-out to the casino's owner. Overall it was not a good year for Sherman; his 21-year marriage came to an end, and he'd added fame -- which had begun to dissipate -- to a list of addictions that included alcohol and carbohydrates. He relocated from Los Angeles to back New York, setting his sights on creating a Broadway musical.

- Togetherness: Allan Sherman's last album, from 1967, was the only one he made without an audience of any kind, and he and musical director Peter Matz (who he'd met an overnight camp) took full advantage of the studio environment with such effects as singing in the shower. The album's single was “Westchester Hadassah," a parody of the New Vaudeville Band's “Winchester Cathedral," itself something of a novelty record. He sang it in what Dr. Demento describes as “somewhere between the quaintly nasal sound of the New Vaudeville Band and the nagging woman of a thousand Jewish comedy routines." Many of the songs were written by Sherman and composer Albert Hague for their Broadway show Birth Is the Coward's Way Out (retitled The Fig Leaves Are Falling). Sadly, the production lasted a total of two days on Broadway.

Sherman moved back to L.A. and began work on a book. By the time it was published in 1973, Sherman was in poor health, suffering from emphysema (after a lifetime of smoking) and increased weight. He died on November 20, 1973 at the age of 47.

Forty-plus years after his heyday, with the re-release of his catalog, Sherman proves that good comedic music can have timeless appeal.

Cooking With The Bubbe: Potato Latkes For Hanukkah

Some of our most popular blog posts have been of grandmothers, or bubbes, cooking Jewish foods using their own recipes. 

First we shared a recipe for sweet and sour meatballs by a bubbe from Worcester, Massachusetts.   Then, for Rosh Hashana, we shared a recipe for gefilte fish, watching a bubby from Montreal buying the the fish in the store and all the steps along the way to serving it on the table.

Now, with Chanukah about three weeks away, we think it's time to stock up on the essentials for making heimishe potato latkes from scratch. 

Who ever thought the internet would awaken the star potential of bubbes everywhere who are probably saying "Food Network, Shmood Network.  Why don't you show me in my kitchen?"

So here is "The Bubbe" showing us how to prepare homemade potato (and also veggie) latkes.  Who is the Bubbe?  She's Lisa Murik from Silver Spring, Maryland -- an octogenarian, holocaust survivor, and great-grandmother who is much beloved by family, friends, and the greater community for spreading her love of food.

You can read her story at www.thebubbe.com and in an article in Gazette.net, a Maryland community newspaper.  Then, it's time to start cooking.  Enjoy!

Logistics For Supporting 4,500 Chabad Rabbis Challenge Caterers and Photographers (Where's Waldo?)

When 4,500 Chabad rabbis gather in New York for an annual conference, the print and digital media pounce on the story.  But is the story about the content of the conference, the inspiring messages to fortify the emissaries as they return to their Chabad Houses all over the world?

No, it's all about logistics.  How does a photographer go about creating still and video images of such a large number of identically dressed subjects?  How does a caterer serve 4,500 meals in a cavernous warehouse in Red Hook, Brooklyn?  How many cooks and waiters are needed?  How many main course choices should be offered?  And how to set up an efficiently run coat check service for 4,500 black coats?

Writing in The New York Times on Friday, Corey Kilgannon reported on the role of David Scharf, who was responsible for staging the banquet in the dank, drafty cargo area for cruise ships, part of the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal.

The event is the 27th annual International Conference of Chabad Lubavitch Emissaries, in which Lubavitcher rabbis stationed around the globe convene each fall in New York to kibitz, share stories and attend workshops and seminars. (The conference was carried live via a Chabad webcast).

The event is now in its 27th year, and attendance grows each time. In fact, this terminal is the only place Mr. Scharf could imagine staging it. Well, there was the Javits Convention Center, but it was booked, and was a bit pricier, he said. And, this location is close to the Lubavitcher community and headquarters in Crown Heights.

There will be literally tons of food. Mr. Scharf has hired 90 chefs and 340 waiters. He has rented vast quantities of equipment, including 15,000 glasses and 30,000 pieces of cutlery. There is a bank of Kosher ovens wrapped in plastic and certified by a rabbi. A team of rabbis will be on hand to supervise the meals. The tractor-trailers will arrive on Sunday afternoon with some 5,000 — staffers have to eat, too — oven-ready meals of chicken and steak. The event is too huge to suffer picky eaters.

“Everyone gets their meat cooked medium — no choice,” said Mr. Scharf, of Cedarhurst, N.Y., who specializes in mega-events held by ultra-Orthodox Jews in New York City. They can be tricky functions to pull off. Think of the details, for example: finding a check-in system for 4,500 black coats to be shed at the door. (The black hats are worn inside.) So many pickles will be served that a staff member was already slicing them on Thursday, taking them from big buckets.

The banquet is intended to reinvigorate the rabbis before they return to their missions around the world. There will be speeches and dancing, and the roll call of the various countries in which the rabbis work. Behind the dais, workers had hung a very large portrait of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Menachem Mendel Schneerson, who died in 1994 and is known simply as “The Rebbe” to his followers. Mr. Scharf met the Rebbe several times and still has the dollar bills that the Rebbe, who would hand them out to people seeking his blessing, handed him.

Writing in The Jerusalem Post, Gil Shefler reports:

Chabad leader Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneerson initiated the outreach program during the first half of the 20th century with the aim of providing Jewish services to communities and travelers. Over the years the network has vastly expanded and is currently located in 73 countries around the world, from China to Chile, South Africa to Finland, and every US state except Mississippi, North Dakota and South Dakota.

Its dedicated corps of husband- and-wife teams, who usually have large families in tow, is the key to the network’s operations.

According to a news release from Chabad.com, the conference is:

a five-day smorgasbord of workshops, inspirational gatherings, field trips, and one-on-one counseling sessions designed to strengthen those who strengthen Jewish communities around the globe.

According to Rabbi Mendel Kotlarsky, a conference coordinator, a total of 97 workshops delivered by 300 presenters and moderators will address a variety of topics, including utilizing technology to further Jewish knowledge, running campus activities, and administrating a day school.

New to this year’s conference  is a special mobile site that allows for emissaries to peruse the program guide from their Android, iPhone and other smartphones, create their own schedules and receive updates and alerts before panels they wish to attend.

Most of us have taken or have been part of group photographs and know how hard it is to get everyone to look at the camera at the same time and smile.  But 4,500 black-hatted, black-suited rabbis?  Their group photograph was such an achievement that SG Videos created a six-minute video on the making of the photo.  It starts with a blank canvas -- the thousands of empty chairs arrayed in front of Lubavitch World Headquarters at 770 Eastern Parkway, and documents the arrival of the participants until all seats have been taken and the photographer is ready to snap away.  But with all of the planning and precision of the photo session, someone forgot to say "Say cheese!"  Enjoy!

 
But wait!  There's more!

In addition to all of the good that they've been doing for Jewish life all around the world, Chabad is know for its dancing rabbis, who have become a regular feature on the annual telethons.  But if you've seen a few dancing rabbis on TV, you haven't seen anything until you see 4,500 dancing rabbis -- and here they are!

A Funny Look At Israeli Passport Control

We have Saturday Night Live, and Israel has Ktzarim, which literally means shorts, as in short comedy sketches.  We discovered a bunch of these and think you'll enjoy watching them as much as we did.

Only a few have English subtitles, though, and those are the ones we'll be sharing with you from time to time.

Israeli airport security is unmatched in the world, but nothing is too holy to withstand poking fun at.  Here is a look at what could happen if a passport control agent is too focused on her task of matching a passport photo with the face of a traveler, ignoring all other aspects of her job.  Enjoy!

It's Already Hanukkah At Jewish Humor Central

Don't look now, but the first Chanukah candle is only 24 days away.  At Jewish Humor Central we love to celebrate holidays, so we've got some good stuff planned for this month.  We started yesterday with a list of recommended funny books to read and to give.  We may do a second list of funny books in a couple of weeks.  Look also for cartoons, jokes, bubbes making latkes, choirs singing Hanukkah songs, unusual Chanukah gifts, and who knows what else.

We're not going to be all Chanukah, all the time -- just a few posts each week as we get closer to December 1.  Most of the time we'll keep posting the usual mix based on what's happening in the Jewish world.

To get in the Chanukah mood, we're sharing a video from Howcast.com called How to Understand the Hanukkah Story.  It's a good summary and refresher course.  Enjoy!

How to Understand the Hanukkah Story on Howcast

Funny Books For Jewish Book Month And Hanukkah

It's November!  In recent years, in addition to being known for Thanksgiving Day and Black Friday shopping day, it's also Jewish Book Month!

That's probably a good excuse for shopping for books that would make good Chanukah gifts (Note: we will be alternating Chanukah and Hanukkah spellings in our pre-holiday posts to help, or maybe confuse, the search engines) for book lovers.  In our case, that means books of Jewish interest that have the capacity to elicit laughs, smiles, grins, and guffaws from our readers.

This year brings a crop of delightful books that we think you'd enjoy reading and giving as gifts for Hanukkah.  Here's a list of our selections of recently published books and a few favorites from last year's list.

Of the 15 books in this list, 12 are also available as e-books, formatted for reading on Amazon's Kindle or Barnes and Noble's Nook eReaders, which are expected to be big sellers this holiday season.

The Book of Murray by David M. Bader
For years scholars have puzzled over the contrasts between modern Judaism and the world of the ancient Israelites. Leviticus explains keeping kosher, but where is the scriptural basis for pocketing a dinner roll from a buffet "for later"?
Finally, in The Book of Murray, we have answers. Here is the source for such timeless teachings as "Love the stranger, but not on the first date" and "Trust not a cardiologist who chain-smokes."

This remarkable biblical text, recently unearthed from a golf course in South Florida, is the surprising, hilarious, and uplifting chronicle of the Old Testament’s most unlikely prophet—Murray, son of Irving of the Tribe of Levi (Relaxed Fit).

Though a poor student and a disappointment to his parents, Murray hears God’s call. Soon he is wandering the land, spreading his unique brand of wisdom, whether from a mountaintop or at a themed bar mitzvah.

He reminds followers of the Ten (or so) Commandments. He boldly predicts the future of the Israelites: "Thy people will produce philosophers and scientists and novelists and Nobel Prize winners. Yet still thou wilt be unable to find the hood release on thy car." He judges a dispute between two women fighting over a cherished black-and-white cookie—all leading to the spectacular finale.

Filled with divinely inspired yet practical advice ("Thou shalt not freelance"), The Book of Murray is an affectionate and mirthful romp for readers of all faiths. Study its truths, learn the prophet’s stories, and, in the immortal words of Murray (handed down by his dyslexic scribe), "Go froth and multiply."
 

Old Jews Telling Jokes by Eric Spiegelman and Sam Hoffman
Schtick happens. For five thousand years, God’s chosen people have cornered the market on knee-slappers, zingers, and knock-knock jokes. Now Old Jews Telling Jokes mines mothers, fathers, bubbies, and zaydes for comic gelt. What we get are jokes that are funnier than a pie in the punim: Abie and Becky jokes; hilarious rabbi, doctor, and mohel tales; and those bits just for Mom (Q: What’s the difference between a Jewish mother and a Rottweiler? A: Eventually a Rottweiler will let go!). Some are just naughty and some are downright bawdy—but either way you’ll laugh till you plotz.

Kvetch as Kvetch Can - Jewish Cartoons by Ken Krimstein
Hold on to your yarmulkes. Ken Krimstein has put together a matzo-ball-soup-through-your-nose funny collection of his unorthodox (sometimes Reform) Jewish-themed cartoons. This book will make you laugh, eat, and feel guilty all at once. It’s like your Jewish mother that way.

Speaking of which, would it kill you to call her?

Taking on all things “Tribe” from the High Holidays to J-date, Kvetch As Kvetch Can is the perfect guilty pleasure (just add it to the list!)


 

Mewsings:  My Life as a Jewish Cat by Greta Beigel
The beloved cat Ketzel pontificates, in rhyme, on what it takes to be a devout calico in a religious household in these modern Jewish times, especially during the High Holidays. Chasing spinning tops--or potato latkes--at Hanukkah, or taste-testing pieces of gefilte fish in preparation for Passover or even contemplating the concept of atonement what with Yom Kippur fast approaching, Ketzel remains ever-respectful of prevailing, ah, dogma. On the road, or reclining and idle at home, Ketzel in her musings accords her own Jewish Mamma a five-meow rating for goodness, mercy, and above all, fancy feasts.
 

Yiddish with Dick and Jane by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman
Jane is in real estate.
Today is Saturday.
Jane has an open house.
She must schlep the Open House signs to the car.
See Jane schlep.
Schlep, Jane. Schlep.
Schlep, schlep, schlep.

In text that captures the unque rhythms of the original Dick and Jane readers, and in 35 all-new illustrations, a story unfolds in which Dick and Jane--hero and heroine of the classic books for children that generations of Americans have used when learning to read--manage to express shades of feeling and nuances of meaning that ordinary English just can't deliver. How? By speaking Yiddish, employing terms that convey an attitude--part plucky self-assertion, part ironic fatalism. When Dick schmoozes, when Jane kvetches, when their children fress noodles at a Chinese restaurant, the clash of cultures produces genuine hilarity.

The Frumkiss Family Business by Michael Wex
Thomas Mann meets Mordecai Richler in this outstanding novel of great intellect and humour that already reads like a classic.

The Frumkiss family doesn't look much different from any of the others in Toronto's Bathurst Manor. Grandpa survived the Holocaust; Grandma the Second came from Poland at the age of five. Dad's a foot doctor; Mom is dead, and her mother — Grandma Number One —died while giving birth to her in Kazakhstan. Her three kids — the oldest is forty-two — are as frustrated and directionless as most baby boomers with no real financial worries. One's in Toronto, there's one in the suburbs and the third lives in Israel. 

As far as the Frumkisses know, all that distinguishes them from anybody else is that Grandpa is a famous Yiddish writer who ended up working for the CBC. But Grandpa's death sets off a chain of events that force the Frumkisses to see how different their family is from all the others.

 Invasion of the Blatnicks by Neil S. Plakcy

Steve Berman loses his job just before a visit to his parents in Florida. En route, though, he’s offered a new one, with a developer building a shopping center at the edge of the Everglades. Comic complications ensue with the craziness of his cousins, the Blatnicks, and the equally zany construction crew.

This is a laugh-out-loud comic novel about Jewish family relationships and shopping mall construction.

Life, Love, Lox: Real-World Advice for the Modern Jewish Girl by Carin Davis
Like Manischewitz with a twist, this saucy book will show the young Chosen Ones how to mix their Jewish roots with their happenin- lifestyles. Bursting with playful anecdotes and amusing advice, Life, Love, Lox is the essential companion for any Jew looking to squeeze a little style out of the ol- Torah. Ten chapters in all-like -Challapalooza,- -How to Lose a Guy in Ten Plagues,- and -Lox, Stock, and Bagel--dish on how to put together Shabbat dinner for the real world, how to meet the (observant) parents, and how to embrace the high holy days with style.

Covering everything from Kosher Kissing and making matzah balls to Speed-Dating and the Dayenu Diet, Life, Love, Lox is the best thing to happen to modern Jews since the Glatt Kosher hot dog cart at Yankee Stadium. This is a humorous girlfriend's guide to living the hip life while keeping it Jewish.

The Big Jewish Book for Jews: Everything You Need to Know to Be a Really Jewish Jew by Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman
Modern Jews have forgotten cherished traditions and become, sadly, all- too assimilated. It's enough to make you meshugeneh. Today's Jews need to relearn the old ways so that cultural identity means something other than laughing knowingly at Curb Your Enthusiasm- and The Big Jewish Book for Jews is here to help.

This wise and wise-cracking fully-illustrated book offers invaluable instruction on everything from how to sacrifice a lamb unto the lord to the rules of Mahjong. Jews of all ages and backgrounds will welcome the opportunity to be the Jewiest Jew of all, and reconnect to ancestors going all the way back to Moses and a time when God was the only GPS a Jew needed. 

Jewish as a Second Language: How to Worry, How to Interrupt, How to Say the Opposite of What You Mean by Molly Katz
Forget Yiddish. Real Jewish is a secret language of nuance, argument, and somersaults of everyday speech; of wins, losses, and draws in competitions you had no idea you’d entered. It’s everything from mastering the OAQ (Obsessive Anal Question)—“They’ll de-ice the wings before takeoff right?”—to never, ever believing your mother-in-law when she says, “Don’t bother driving me, I’ll take a cab.” Now in a revised and expanded second edition that’s bigger, better, and with more guilt, this is the indispensable guide.  

Rabbi Harvey vs. the Wisdom Kid: A Graphic Novel of Dueling Jewish Folktales in the Wild West by Steve Sheinkin
In his colorful career on the Rocky Mountain frontier, Rabbi Harvey has matched wits with a variety of villains--most notably the sweet-faced "Bad Bubbe" Bloom, and the self-proclaimed genius "Big Milt" Wasserman. In this exciting new volume, these two formidable foes team up to try to rid the West of Rabbi Harvey once and for all. The key to their evil scheme: Bad Bubbe's darling son, Rabbi "Wisdom Kid" Rubin, newly arrived from back East. He's young. He's clever. He's eager to take Harvey's place. But is he fast enough on the draw--the wisdom draw, that is--to take the town from Rabbi Harvey?

The first two books in this popular series present collections of stand-alone stories. Now, for the first time, fans get a book-length Rabbi Harvey adventure. The hilarious, action-packed plot draws on classic Jewish folktales, Talmudic teachings and the timeless wisdom of the wise men of Chelm. As always, Rabbi Harvey protects his town and delivers justice, wielding only the weapons of wisdom, wit and a bit of trickery. He also gets a bit of help from Abigail, the town's quick-thinking school teacher--a woman, it appears, who just may have captured his heart. 

The 188th Crybaby Brigade: A Skinny Jewish Kid from Chicago Fights Hezbollah--A Memoir by Joel Chasnoff
Joel Chasnoff is twenty-four years old, an American, and the graduate of an Ivy League university. But when his career as a stand-up comic fails to get off the ground, Chasnoff decides it's time for a serious change of pace. Leaving behind his amenity-laden Brooklyn apartment for a plane ticket to Israel, Joel trades in the comforts of being a stereotypical American Jewish male for an Uzi, dog tags (with his name misspelled), and serious mental and physical abuse at the hands of the Israeli Army.

The 188th Crybaby Brigade is a hilarious and poignant account of Chasnoff's year in the Israel Defense Forces -- a year that he volunteered for, and that he'll never get back. As a member of the 188th Armored Brigade, a unit trained on the Merkava tanks that make up the backbone of Israeli ground forces, Chasnoff finds himself caught in a twilight zone-like world of mandatory snack breaks, battalion sing-alongs, and eighteen-year-old Israeli mama's boys who feign injuries to get out of guard duty and claim diarrhea to avoid kitchen work. More time is spent arguing over how to roll a sleeve cuff than studying the mechanics of the Merkava tanks. The platoon sergeants are barely older than the soldiers and are younger than Chasnoff himself. By the time he's sent to Lebanon for a tour of duty against Hezbollah, Chasnoff knows everything about why snot dries out in the desert, yet has never been trained in firing the MAG. And all this while his relationship with his tough-as-nails Israeli girlfriend (herself a former drill sergeant) crumbles before his very eyes.

The lone American in a platoon of eighteen-year-old Israelis, Chasnoff takes readers into the barracks; over, under, and through political fences; and face-to-face with the absurd reality of life in the Israeli Army. It is a brash and gritty depiction of combat, rife with ego clashes, breakdowns in morale, training mishaps that almost cost lives, and the barely containable sexual urges of a group of teenagers. What's more, it's an on-the-ground account of life in one of the most em-battled armies on earth -- an occupying force in a hostile land, surrounded by enemy governments and terrorists, reviled by much of the world. With equal parts irreverence and vulnerability, irony and intimacy, Chasnoff narrates a new kind of coming-of-age story -- one that teaches us, moves us, and makes us laugh.

Murder at the Minyan by Shulamit E. Kustanowitz
A shot in the synagogue parking lot brings Rabbi London running. He sees a gun and a pool of blood. At least one person is probably dead. The rabbi knows he should have seen trouble brewing weeks before when discussions about death turned nasty. But he was busy then with life cycle events and November and December challenges. 

Now, despite the rabbi’s teachings, the murderer has put his plan into motion. Soon there will be enough people mourning his victims to ensure the minimum of ten men at the daily service, and he will be able to say his Kaddish.

Oy! and Oy Vey: More! by David Minkoff
David Minkoff has probably compiled more Jewish jokes than anyone on the internet or in the universe. Last year his second "ultimate complilation" of Jewish jokes, "Oy Vey: More" was published by Thomas Dunne/St. Martin's Press in hardcover.

The first book, Oy: The Ultimate Book of Jewish Jokes is now out in paperback. We keep a few copies on hand to give as get-well gifts to friends who have been hospitalized. They say that laughter is the best medicine, and we include a fake prescription blank recommending two jokes three times a day and three jokes just before bedtime. It works wonders!

Hevenu Shalom Aleichem Around The World: Mayan Children In Guatemala

La paz este con nosotros.  That's how you say Hevenu shalom aleichem in Spanish.  How do we know?  We came across a YouTube video uploaded by Jeremy Stadlin that shows him teaching a group of youngsters in a Guatemalan village to sing the popular Israeli song, first in Spanish, and then in Hebrew.  All this happens while they are dancing in an expanding and contracting circle. 

This is the second of a series of renditions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem from around the world, sometimes in unexpected locales.  Last month we shared a performance of the song on stage in Korea.  Watch for more interpretations in the coming months.  Enjoy!

Funniest Bar Mitzvah Invitation Ever: What Really Happened When Jacob Met Esav

A family in Tel Mond, a small town in Israel between Ra'anana and Netanya, planning their son's Bar Mitzvah later this month, came up with a unique way of inviting their guests:  A film takeoff called What Really Happend When Jacob Met His Brother Esav.  It was meant only for their invited guests, but some of them posted it on YouTube.

So far more than 75,000 people have viewed it.  We wonder what will happen if all of these viewers of the video decide to accept and show up at the synagogue where Eyal will read the parsha of Vayishlach and chant the haftorah.  We hope they have lots of schmaltz herring and single malt scotch on hand. 

Mazal Tov!  Enjoy the video!

 

The film used as a basis for the invitation is a real movie, Jacob, made for TV in 1994, and available on Netflix (without the fake subtitles, of course.)  The soundtrack is from another source.  It sounds like Adiemus to us.  If you recognize it, please comment below.

(A tip of the kippah to Dan Mosenkis for bringing this gem to our attention.)

Sesame Street’s Grover Asks Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz: Why Do People Need a Day of Rest?

Sesame Street's Grover has been to Israel and learned all about Shabbat.  Now he asks a good question:  Why do people need a day of rest?  

And who's responding to Grover?  None other than Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz, who will be completing his monumental effort of translation and commentary on the Talmud on November 7.  

His mission has been to give Jewish texts and learning back to the Jewish people. To mark this achievement, communities around the world are joining in a Global Day of Jewish Learning next Sunday, November 7.

That day will feature Jewish dialogue and exploration, joining together in celebration of all that unites us.   The conversation that has spanned millennia will resonate at once in community centers, classrooms, and synagogues across the globe.  Sponsors of the day of learning include an impressive list of Jewish religious and cultural organizations, from the Orthodox Union, United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, Union for Reform Judaism, to the Jewish Book Council, Birthright Israel, and Shalom Sesame.

Grover's big question is one of many that are being asked in preparation for the Global Day of Jewish Learning.

The concept is beautifully presented in an 8 minute video below, that weaves together scenes of Jewish learning around the world and a story from the Talmud about Choni the Circle Drawer (Choni Ha-Maagel).

Briefly, A devastating drought had stricken the land of Israel -- a sign, it is said, of a generation burdened by the consequences of not following the Torah. Threatened by famine, the people turned to Choni, whose purity and Torah wisdom left him untainted by the shortcomings of his generation.

"Choni," the people said, "Pray that rain should fall."
Choni prayed. But nothing happened.

Drawing a circle with a twig, the Mishnah relates, he stepped inside and took an oath not to go out until the people received rain.

It rained, but in very little drops -- enough to release Choni from his oath. But not enough, said the people, to fill their dried-up wells and avert famine.

So rather than step out, Choni raised his prayer (and his chutzpah) to a higher level: "G-d, this is not what I asked for!"

While the citizens held their breath to await the response, it began to rain. But the drops, our sages say, were as "big as the opening of a jug and no drop less than a log."

Choni understood that since the time of the exodus from Egypt, the Jewish people still were unable to handle either an abundance or lack of blessings. So with unprecedented chutzpah, he again dared say, "G-d, this is not what I asked for!"

And it rained a normal rain. Except that the rain continued for so long that the people began fleeing to higher elevations. Choni recognized that the people still had not merited truly proper rains, and made an offering on their behalf. And that's good for Choni, because his daring prayers almost earned him the highest form of exile from the community.

"Were you not Choni I would pronounce a ban upon you," declared Shimon ben Shetach, the head of the Sanhedrin, the highest legal body of the time. "But what shall I do to you," Shetach continued, "that you misbehave before G-d and He fulfills your wish -- like a son who misbehaves towards his father and his father fulfills his wish."

From that time on, our sages say, Choni was known as Choni HaMe'Agel (Choni the Circle-Maker).

Each community throughout the world will decide what their Global Day event will look like. The structure of each event will depend on audience, resources and local interest. Some communities in North America are working with their local Jewish book fair to develop a meaning Global Day experience while others might be creating events around PJ Library or other adult learning opportunities in their own communities.

Every community event will be unique -- some might be an all day experience while others only an hour or two. For some, the Global Day will be a first-time learning experience; for others who learn regularly, this may be their first opportunity to learn in a large group setting. For still others, communal learning may be a regular practice and it will be the international achdut, or unifying aspect, that provides meaning. The important of the Global Day is bringing together people from all walks of life and providing a Jewish learning experience. 

So what was Rabbi Steinsaltz's answer to Grover?  Here it is:

The day of rest is a comparatively new idea, the influence of the Jewish Shabbat on the world. From a secular perspective, a rest day breaks the killing routine of life. Even when we can’t really relax, the day still lessens the unbearable burden of duties and demands, orders and work.

However, when the day of rest is a holy day, it has the power of re-infusing some spirit of life into an age that is, in many ways, empty of any exalted feeling. Such a day revives the dormant soul, opening our eyes so that we can watch for something higher.