"What is Gefilte Fish?" Old Jews Telling Jokes Cast Member Looks For Answer in Times Square

Old Jews Telling Jokes is truly the gift that keeps on giving. First the web site, then the book, CD, and DVD, and finally the hit off-Broadway show, all have been a source of comic material for Jewish Humor Central since our first mention of them in our first blogging week in October 2009. And we're not finished with them yet.

Audrey Lynn Weston, a member of the cast of the off-Broadway hit show, took to the streets of New York this week to discover just what gefilte fish is all about.

Approaching men, women, children, and even a dog and pigeons in the pedestrial mall that Times Square has become, she asks bystanders what they know about gefilte fish, and attempts (with mixed results) to get them to taste the Rokeach Old Vienna version that's sold in jars.

Enjoy!

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Gaza Zoo Adds Stuffed Animals to Its Zebra-Painted Donkeys

One of our first blog posts back in October 2009 was about the Gaza zoo and how they paid an artist to paint two donkeys to look like zebras after their zebras died of neglect during the war between Gaza and Israel last year. 

Now they've gone one step further. When the zoo's lion, tiger, and other animals died, they mummified them and put them back in cages. Visiting children are allowed inside the cages where they can pet the dead animals. 

As the Ibrahim Barzak of the Associated Press reported yesterday:

Flies swarm around some of the 10 animals that have been embalmed so far. The makeshift cages housing the exhibits — fashioned from fencing salvaged from Jewish settlements that Israel dismantled in 2005 — are littered with empty soda cans and other trash.

An emaciated-looking stuffed lion, its coat patchy and mangy, lies on an exhibit cobbled together from crates and shipping pallets. A monkey had missing limbs. A porcupine had a hole in its head.

The zoo's 65 live animals, which include ostriches, monkeys, turtles, deer, a llama, a lion and a tiger, don't fare much better. During a recent visit, children poked chocolate, potato chips and bread through the wire. There's no zookeeper on the premises. Gaza has no government body that oversees zoos, and medical treatment is done by consulting over the phone with zoo veterinarians in Egypt.

Still, the zoo is one of the few places of entertainment here in Khan Younis, a city of 200,000 people at the southern end of the Gaza Strip. It's one of five zoos in the Gaza Strip, a densely populated coastal enclave of 1.7 million people ruled by Islamic Hamas militants.

A 14-year-old boy snapped pictures of the animals with his mobile phone.

“I have been to this place before years ago but this is my first time seeing mummified animals,” he said. “They look like they are asleep. I will print out the pictures of me standing next to the lion and put it on my wall. It will be fun to show it to my younger brothers.”

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

 

Matzah Comes to the Animals at the Ramat Gan Zoo

Have you had your fill of matzah yet?  The mountainous stacks of five-pound matzah boxes have finally disappeared from supermarkets everywhere and we don't mind not seeing them until they show up as one of the first signs of spring next year.

But not all of the matzah was consumed by the world's human population. After all, why shouldn't we share such a delicacy with the animal kingdom? We doubt that the world's zookeepers switched to a matzah diet last week, but we know for sure that's exactly what the zookeepers at Israel's Ramat Gan Safari did with their population.

As Daniella Ashkenazy wrote this month in IsraelSeen.com,

...one of the weirdest holiday sights one can find Only-in-Israel is gorillas and elephants munching on matzah in the Ramat Gan Safari…and not because the park’s caretakers couldn’t stock up on stale bread for a week; in fact, the Safari invites Israelis to donate unwanted hametz to feed the elephants prior to the holiday rather than discard it.  But once the holiday kicks in, because Jewish law prohibits leavening being “seen or found” during Passover, handlers feed the residents matzah for a solid week so as not to offend religiously-observant families who flock to the zoo during Passover week.

In this video the denizens of the Ramat Gan Safari, including coatimundi, gorillas, orangutans, and elephants delight in the annual change of menu. Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

The Poor Man and His Small Hut - A Classic Yiddish Folk Tale Set to Klezmer Music

One of the most frequently told Eastern European folk tales is the one about the poor man who lived in a miserable small hut with his large and noisy family and a few farm animals. The poor man went to the rabbi of the town for advice. The rabbi told him to bring his animals into the house, and you probably know the rest of the story. It's been published in many forms, one of the most popular being Margot Zemach's children's book It Could Always be Worse.

Today we discovered yet another version of the classic story presented by a Yiddish-style storyteller, in English, with klezmer accompaniment. It's the same old story, but with a heimishe musical twist, and it reminded us of another classic story, Peter and the Wolf, with the instruments of the orchestra providing voices for each of the main characters in the story. 

The performance took place in October at the State University of New York College at Oneonta. The narrator, Stephen Markuson, put on his special storytelling cap and told the story in English, but with an unmistakeable Yiddish inflection. Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO IS NOT VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)
 

Meet Craig Cohen, the Jewish Cowboy From New Mexico

Jewish Humor Central is getting to be like Forrest Gump's box of chocolates...you never know what you're going to get.

Today it's not another joke or strange version of Hava Nagila or funny Israeli commercial. Today we're having a talk with Craig Cohen, who calls himself the Jewish Cowboy from Rio Rancho, New Mexico, and his horse Lulu. 

In the video below, Cohen says that Lulu was Horse Mitzvahed by Rabbi Arthur Flicker, a cowboy rabbi from El Paso via Columbus, Ohio, and shows us the Magen David she wears around her head.

He learned to speak horse in 2002 and shows how he communicates with Lulu by massaging her behind, and demonstrates a bit of horsemanship without actually riding Lulu, who is tethered to a tree.  Enjoy!

Saudis Detain Israeli Vulture For Spying After Egypt Says Mossad Complicit In Shark Attack

As we're fond of saying, you just can't make this stuff up.  Today we're reporting two stories from the past few weeks that we would have taken for Purim spoofs if it weren't mid-January.

A few days ago the Saudis "detained" a vulture that flew into their airspace with a leg tag saying "Tel Aviv University."  The authorities claimed the vulture was sent by the Mossad to spy for Israel.  If we were sending a bird to spy we certainly wouldn't put our return address on it, but when does logic apply in the Middle East?

This report comes on the heels of another one last month that the Mossad was responsible for shark attacks in Egyptian waters.

To show that we're not making this up, here is the article from the BBC about the vulture caper:

Saudi Arabian officials have "detained" a vulture on accusations of being a spy for Israel, media reports say.

The griffon vulture was carrying a GPS transmitter bearing the name of Tel Aviv University, prompting rumours it was part of a Zionist plot. Israeli wildlife officials dismissed the claims as ludicrous and expressed concern about the bird's fate.

Last month, Egyptian officials implied the Israeli spy agency Mossad was to blame for shark attacks off its coast.

The vulture, which can have a wing span of up to 265cm (8ft 8in), was caught after it landed in the desert city of Hyaal a few days ago.  When locals discovered the GPS transmitter, they suspected the worst and handed it over to the security forces, said Israel's Ma'ariv newspaper.  Conspiracy theories quickly began circulating in Saudi newspapers and on websites that the bird was involved in espionage.

Israeli officials told Ma'ariv they were "stunned" by the allegations and concerned that the bird could meet a horrible punishment in the notoriously severe Saudi justice system.

"The device does nothing more than receive and store basic data about the bird's whereabouts, and about his altitude and speed," a bird specialist at Israel's Park and Nature Authority told the newspaper. The data would be used to improve understanding of the endangered species' behaviour.

"Now, this poor bird is paying a terrible price. That's very sad," said the unnamed expert. "I hope they release the poor thing."

The vulture is the latest animal to be accused of being an unwitting Mossad operative.  In December, the governor of Egypt's South Sinai province, Mohamed Abdul Fadil Shousha, suggested the spy agency may have had a hand in a string of deadly shark attacks off the coast of the Sharm el-Sheikh resort.
He said it was "not out of the question" that Mossad had put the killer shark in the area.

The Israeli foreign ministry dismissed that allegation, saying the governor "must have seen Jaws one time too many, and confuses fact and fiction".

Stephen Colbert, the host of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report, had a lot of fun reporting the Egyptian allegation, and we'll share it with you below, just after the serious report from Israel Television News.  Truth is indeed stranger than fiction, and we hope you enjoy both videos.

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Israel Shark Conspiracy
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> Video Archive

   

Blessing Animals In Synagogue? In Pennsylvania, Texas, And Now In California

We thought we'd heard it all when we posted stories last year about Orthodox communities having a Petter Chamor ceremony to redeem a firstborn donkey and present it to the Kohen.

Now comes a story from JTA that Dor Chadash, a Reconstructionist synagogue in San Diego, will hold a Blessing of the Animals on Tu b'Shevat, the holiday commemorating the New Year for trees.  This year the holiday falls on January 20.

Here is the complete article, as released by JTA:

SAN FRANCISCO (JTA) -- A Southern California synagogue is having its third annual “blessing of the animals.”

Congregation Dor Hadash in San Diego holds the event in honor of Tu b’Shevat, the 15th day of Nissan, which this year falls on Jan. 20.

(NOTE TO JTA:  Tu b'Shevat falls on the 15th day of Nissan???  Please answer these questions:

1. In what Jewish month does the 15th day of Shevat fall?

2. Who's buried in Grant's tomb?)

Pet owners are invited to bring their pets to the Reconstructionist shul by noon Sunday, Jan. 9, where they will be blessed by Rabbi Yael Ridburg. Furred, winged and swimming creatures are all welcome -- from cats to turtles.

Tu b’Shevat is known as the new year of trees, and is one of four “new year” celebrations on the Jewish calendar. Some Jews expand the holiday to include blessings for all living things produced by the earth, including plants and animals.

According to the San Diego Union-Tribune, last year’s blessing ceremony included the audience responding: “May they never suffer from ick, and may their fins and scales always sparkle in the light of your sunshine.”

The Petter Chamor ceremony is mentioned in the Torah.  But blessing of the animals?  We had to do a little research to track this one down.  According to Michael Croland, who writes the Heeb'n'Vegan blog,

At least 21 synagogues or other Jewish groups in 10 states have held blessing of the animals ceremonies, with rabbis (and at least one cantor) coming face to muzzle with a wide swath of the animal kingdom, including many animals that Jews do not consider kosher to eat. Although dogs and cats are the most common attendees, clergy have also recited blessings for livestock (goats and sheep), small mammals (hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, and ferrets), birds (parrots, ducks, and geese), reptiles (snakes and turtles), amphibians (frogs), fish (goldfish), shellfish (hermit crabs), and insects (at least one cricket and one millipede). Some organizers of these events have based their practices on Christian blessing of the animals ceremonies.

In 1997, after Rabbi Seymour Rosenbloom conducted a blessing of the animals ceremony at Congregation Adath Jeshurun in Elkins Park, Pennsylvania, Matt Nesvisky wrote an opinion piece in The Jerusalem Post, from which we quote the following, just to be fair and balanced and to remember that we are a Jewish humor blog:

Sure, we should be kind to our critterly companions - Israelis especially still have a lot to learn in that regard. But making blessings over their heads? Nah. Not unless we're about to prepare them for the table. Or for sacrifice. That's the Jewish way.

And where could it all lead, this Jewish Dr. Doolittling? Next thing you know, there will be a move to count animals in your minyan. And it won't stop there. Egalitarians will demand mixed seating - you know, my lion sharing a bench with your lamb. An elephant demands an aliya. A moose seeks membership in the Men's Club, a seal joins the sisterhood, a beaver runs for election to the governing board. And how long before the beasts seek pulpits of their own?

I'm getting visions of something like George Orwell's Animal Shul. "Two legs treif, four legs kosher." And once the animals seize control of the kashrut cartel, it won't be long before we're all condemned to vegetarianism. Forget about the chicken soup and pot roast on Friday night. Get ready for the tofu cholent on Shabbat. Ridiculous? I agree. Likewise with the blessing of the animals.

We're not taking a position on whether or not rabbis and synagogues should lay their hands on animals and pronounce Hebrew blessings on them.  We're just noting that the desire to do so has been cropping up in congregations from Reconstructionist to Orthodox more than we realized.  

How do you feel about it?  Take a look at this video of giving Birkat Kohanim (the priestly blessing) to dogs at Temple Emanuel in Dallas in 2007 and let us have your comments.