Comedy Showcase: Joel Chasnoff Explains Tefillin to a TSA Agent

Joel Chasnoff redefines the meaning of Jewish comedy. A stand-up comic and best-selling author, Chasnoff is the only comedian who's also a veteran of the Israeli Army. His hilarious take on Jewish life is clean, hip, and wonderfully original; no wonder The Forward calls him the comedic voice of his generation.

A Chicago native, Chasnoff has performed at more than 1,000 fundraisers, universities, and festivals in nine countries. On the road, he was the warm-up act for Jon Stewart and Lewis Black of The Daily Show. He is also a frequent guest on NPR and has appeared on ABC, NBC, and Israeli late-night television. 

In this excerpt from one of his comedy presentations  Joel reflects on his  experience of having to explain to TSA agents why he has long leather straps (tefillin) in his carry-on bag.

Enjoy!

3 Livestream Jewish Comedy Programs for Christmas Eve - Order Kosher Chinese Takeout and You're All Set

The clouds of coronavirus lockdowns, isolations, and quarantines this year have revealed a silver lining -- the annual Christmas eve Jewish comedy nights at clubs and restaurants in cities with large Jewish populations are now accessible everywhere through Zoom and YouTube.

Today we're sharing links to three live streaming celebrations that will bring comedy and entertainment into your home on Thursday night. One is free and the other two have fees of $20 and $25 to participate.

A Very Jewish Christmas Eve

MyJewishLearning.com is sponsoring A Very Jewish Christmas Eve, a free fun evening of activities, including Jewish trivia, stand-up comedy, and everyone's favorite Jewish Christmas tradition: Chinese food!

The site, originally started by Canadian philanthropist Edgar Bronfman and now funded by the Samuel Bronfman Foundation, is offering four sessions, starting at 7 pm and ending at 11 pm. Here is the schedule:

7 p.m. ET: Learn how Jews have dealt with Christmas throughout the decades, with Rabbi Joshua Plaut, author of "A Kosher Christmas: 'Tis the Season to be Jewish."

8 p.m. ET: Chinese Food Cooking Demo: Learn to Make Dumplings, with chef and author Kian Lam Kho.

9:15 p.m. ET: Trivia Night! Test your Jewish knowledge in an interactive game led by Rabbi Benjamin Resnick.

10:15 p.m. ET: Laugh the night away with Jewish stand-up comic Talia Reese. 

To join in the fun, just submit your name and email address on this form.

 Christmas Eve for the Jews 

Comedian Joel Chasnoff hosts the 8th annual CHRISTMAS EVE FOR THE JEWS at 8 pm -- this time, virtually!

Joel welcomes stand-up comedian Mark Normand (The Tonight Show, Conan, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert), Ophira Eisenberg (Host of NPR's quiz show "Ask Me Another"), Jessica Kirson (The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, The View, The Comedian), sketch comedy from Canadian troupe Comedies Never Win, and more. Click on this link to purchase tickets for a night of laughter:

A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.

28th Annual Kung Pao Kosher Comedy Night

Every year comedy is king at a Chinese restaurant in San Francisco when Jewish comedians perform their stand-up acts on Christmas Eve. This year is no exception, but the comedy will be virtual. Below is a preview, and you can buy tickets right here.

Yom Kippur Coronavirus Special: Comedian Joel Chasnoff Updates Confession to Include Pandemic Misdeeds

Every Yom Kippur, Jews collectively acknowledge our “sins” during the Vidui Confession. Below is Joel's updated version of the Confession, based on all the misdeeds we committed during the pandemic. It's in alphabetical order, like the real thing! 

The Corona Confession:

א  Apcheenu - We sneezed without covering our noses

ב  Barachnu - We left a Zoom meeting early under false pretenses

ג  Googalnu - We Googled Corona statistics for no reason

ד Dacheenu We delayed taking a Covid test to avoid being quarantined

   D’mei Havtalnu We applied for unemployment benefits unnecessarily

ה Heeshta’alnu - We coughed into our hands and wiped it on our friends’ furniture

ו  Ve-Heesh’arnu We left our cell phones at home during quarantine so we couldn’t be tracked

   WiFinu - We claimed the WiFi was down to explain having missed an 8AM staff meeting

ז  Zoomeenu BeShaina - We slept during a Zoom session

ח Cholanu - We faked having a sore throat and dry cough to avoid visiting our mothers-in-law

ט Televeeznu - We watched TV during an online bar mitzvah

 י Yadeinu Tamanu - We touched fomites without rubber gloves

 כ Kafkafeenu - We wore our slippers outside

    Kalavnu - We borrowed our neighbor’s dog and took him for a walk, just to get some fresh air

 ל Leechlachnu - We touched silverware without first washing our hands

 מ Maseichanu - We wore our masks below our chins

 נ Netflixnu - We used the pandemic as an excuse to watch Netflix

 ס Sacheetnu - We squeezed fruit in the grocery store, then put it back on the shelf

 ע Aleenu - We took the elevator when it would have been more hygienic to take the stairs

 פ Purellnu - We finished all the Purell

 צ Chateteenu - We chatted privately in Zoom meetings about others in attendance

    Tza’adnu - We failed to take off our shoes before entering the house

 ק Quarantinu - We self-quarantined to take a break from our families

 ר Routernu - We changed the password to the family WiFi router and didn’t share it

 ש Sheekarnu - We lied about having washed our hands with soap

 ת Tachtoneemnu - We wore underwear to a Zoom meeting

 A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.

Comedy Showcase: Joel Chasnoff Opens Z3 Conference with Funny Standup on Zionism

Last November, thought leaders from across the world and from across the political, religious and social spectrum gathered in Palo Alto, California to discuss the most relevant aspects of Jewish life today at the annual Z3 Conference. It featured a cross-generational conversation about identity, culture and social responsibility on multiple platforms including roundtables, workshops, music and art exhibitions. 

It also featured a funny opening monologue by standup comedian Joel Chasnoff. In his 14 minute routine, he contrasted diaspora Jews and Israelis, talked about the difficulties of explaining kosher food rules to flight attendants and tefillin to TSA agents, the miracle of the Israeli army, and using "Solomon Schechter Hebrew" to communicate with native Hebrew speakers.

Enjoy!

A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.