Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
This evening we welcome Shabbat with the pleasing sounds of Lemaan Ahai as played and sung by the Maayan Band - a group of musicians
and friends from Toronto, Canada.
On
their website they describe themselves as different characters, tastes and
backgrounds, but sharing the sense that the ancient sources, writings of the
Jewish sages are the highest expression of the art of being human.
They
draw inspiration and musical force from the ancient sources. What unites them
is the desire to share that harmony that touches the eternal. Their
performances are all about interacting with the people who come to spend time
with them.
The song Lemaan Ahai, part of the liturgy of Kabbalat Shabbat, has lyrics from Psalms 122 with music by Shlomo Carlebach.
Enjoy,
and Shabbat shalom.
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Today we combine two
regular features of Jewish Humor Central -- Jewish Traces in Unexpected
Places and a song from the Shabbat services to welcome the weekly day of
rest.
The girls from Nangolo Synagogue, Uganda sing Mizmor leDavid from the Shabbat Morning Service Prayers. The Nangolo Synagogue is one of nine established by the Abayudaya people of Uganda.
The Abayudaya (People of Judah) are a community in eastern Uganda near the town of Mbale who practice Judaism. They are devout in their practice, keeping kashrut, and observing Shabbat.
There are several different villages where the Abayudaya live. Most of
these are recognized by the Reform and Conservative movements of
Judaism. In June 2016 Rabbi Shlomo Riskin led a Beit Din that performed an Orthodox conversion for the Putti community of Abayudaya.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU
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Today
is Tisha B'Av, an annual fast day in Judaism which commemorates the
destruction of the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem and the subsequent
exile of the Jews from the Land of Israel to Babylon.
The day also commemorates other tragedies which occurred on the same day,
including the Roman massacre of over 100,000 Jews at Betar in 132 CE. It was instituted by the rabbis of 2nd-century Palestine.
Tisha B'Av is regarded as the saddest day in the Jewish calendar, a day
in which all pleasurable activity is forbidden, and is marked by synagogue
attendance the night before and during the day. But that doesn't mean there's
no singing, or more accurately, chanting.
The highlight of the day's service is the chanting of the megillah of Eicha
(Lamentations), written by the prophet Jeremiah. Eicha is read in
synagogues and in groups meeting indoors and outdoors.
In
some Jewish communities Psalm 137 is recited or chanted. It reads:
Psalms
Chapter 137
1. By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, we also wept, when we
remembered Zion.
2. We hung our lyres on the willows in its midst. 3. For there those who carried us away captive required of us a song; and
those who tormented us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs
of Zion.
4. How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a foreign land?
5. If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.
6. If I do not remember you, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth; if
I do not set Jerusalem above my highest joy.
7. Remember, O Lord, against the Edomites, the day of Jerusalem; who said,
Raze it, raze it, to its foundation.
8. O daughter of Babylon, you are to be destroyed! Happy shall he be, who
repays you for what you have done to us.
9. Happy shall he be, who takes your little ones and dashes them against the
rock.
But
the liturgy of Tisha B'Av has found an audience beyond traditional Jews
observing a sad day.
The
words of the Psalms (highlighted in blue above) were incorporated into Rivers of Babylon, a Rastafarian song written and
recorded by Brent Dowe and Trevor McNaughton of the Jamaican reggae group The
Melodians in 1970. The Melodians' original version of the song appeared in the
soundtrack album of the 1972 movie The Harder They Come, making it
internationally known.
The song was
popularized in Europe by the 1978 Boney M. cover version, which was awarded a
platinum disc and is one of the top ten all-time best-selling singles in the
UK.
Somehow
the song has been adopted by line dance devotees, primarily in Korea,
Taiwan, and Southeast Asia. The two videos below show the original song
with lyrics followed by one of the line dance interpretations from
Korea.
If you're fasting today, we wish you an easy and meaningful fast.
A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON
SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE
EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE
PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.
Today
is Tisha B'Av, an annual fast day in Judaism which commemorates the
destruction of the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem and the subsequent
exile of the Jews from the Land of Israel to Babylon.
The day also commemorates other tragedies which occurred on the same day,
including the Roman massacre of over 100,000 Jews at Betar in 132 CE. It was instituted by the rabbis of 2nd-century Palestine.
Tisha B'Av is regarded as the saddest day in the Jewish calendar, a day
in which all pleasurable activity is forbidden, and is marked by synagogue
attendance the night before and during the day. But that doesn't mean there's
no singing, or more accurately, chanting.
The highlight of the day's service is the chanting of the megillah of Eicha
(Lamentations), written by the prophet Jeremiah. Eicha is read in
synagogues and in groups meeting indoors and outdoors.
In
some Jewish communities Psalm 137 is recited or chanted. It reads:
Psalms
Chapter 137
1. By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, we also wept, when we
remembered Zion.
2. We hung our lyres on the willows in its midst.
3. For there those who carried us away captive required of us a song; and
those who tormented us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs
of Zion.
4. How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a foreign land?
5. If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.
6. If I do not remember you, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth; if
I do not set Jerusalem above my highest joy.
7. Remember, O Lord, against the Edomites, the day of Jerusalem; who said,
Raze it, raze it, to its foundation.
8. O daughter of Babylon, you are to be destroyed! Happy shall he be, who
repays you for what you have done to us.
9. Happy shall he be, who takes your little ones and dashes them against the
rock.
But
the liturgy of Tisha B'Av has found an audience beyond traditional Jews
observing a sad day. The
words of the Psalms were incorporated into Rivers of Babylon, a Rastafarian song written and
recorded by Brent Dowe and Trevor McNaughton of the Jamaican reggae group The
Melodians in 1970. The Melodians' original version of the song appeared in the
soundtrack album of the 1972 movie The Harder They Come, making it
internationally known. The song was
popularized in Europe by the 1978 Boney M. cover version, which was awarded a
platinum disc and is one of the top ten all-time best-selling singles in the
UK. Somehow
the song has been adopted by line dance devotees, primarily in Korea,
Taiwan, and Southeast Asia. The two videos below show the original song
with lyrics followed by one of the line dance interpretations from
Korea. If you're fasting today, we wish you an easy and meaningful fast. (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON
SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE
EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE
PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2025 and 2026 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2025 and 2026 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2025 and 2026 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Audio Roundup 2025:345
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by Joel Rich Hakira volune 37, summer 2025 has a fascinating series of
interviews with R H schachter, R A willig, R B Yudin,R Rosensweiz and R M
Lichtenste...
The Peace Process
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Dry Bones Golden Oldies in the fond memory of Yaakov Kirschen (Dry Bones).
Brought to you by Sali, the LSW.
Two very kind and diligent readers wrote to m...
Thoughts on the Haggadah by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum
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[image: Story 375601404]
We just recently were able to find the latest version of my fathers, Rabbi
Eli Teitelbaum Z”L, thoughts on the Haggadah and conve...
Hamantaschen: The Symbolism behind Purim Cookies
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Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
book of Esther reading. Every Jewish holiday focuses on a special dish and
the tria...
Thank you for your support!
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Thank you very much for supporting our work at The Muqata. We appreciate
your contribution and hope to be able to keep bringing you the most up to
date ...
Boarding School Massachusetts
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Every fall the Massachusetts Health Connector provides information
concerning the public higher education institutions and designed to prevent
offenders ...
A chat with some protesters…
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Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Jerusalem Walking Tours for Sukkot
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It is about time that I brought back my “Jerusalem: Meet Jerusalem” walking
tour series. And while I am nearing completion on a few new ones that I
hope to...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...