A Joke to Start the Week - "Security, Shmecurity"

It's the first Monday in June, and another opportunity for us to share a Joke to Start the Week with you.

Our old friend and certified hypnosis counselor Bob Hertzendorf is back for his many fans with another joke to get us in the mood. With all the old jokes going around, we have to admit that this is one that we haven't heard before.

Here's the setup: This story happened on the watch of President George W. Bush. He called a security meeting. And at the meeting he had the CIA, the FBI, Homeland Security, and every other spying agency you can think of. And then...

Enjoy!

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A Joke to Start the Week: "Building a Tunnel"

So it's Monday again, and we just can't start a new week without an old joke. We've been fortunate to find joke tellers to join in this weekly jokefest. Once again we bring you a joke from Bob Hertzendorf, our favorite certified hypnosis counselor.

Last week we met Bob at a show we did at  at the Four Seasons Country Club and Spa in Lakewood, New Jersey, where he is the president of the Jewish Cultural Club. After exchanging a few jokes, Bob assured us that the jokes will keep on coming.

Here's the setup for today's joke: The powers that be at City Hall in New York have come to the realization that the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel is overloaded. Too much traffic. So the decision is to build another tunnel. And then...

Enjoy!

SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

A Joke to Start the Week: "A Trip to the Shoemaker"

It's another Monday, and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Bob Hertzendorf, our favorite Certified Hypnosis Counselor, is back, this time with his old friend and golf partner Bob Sachs to do a 50-year-old skit, A Trip to the Shoemaker.

Yes, we know it's old, but so are all the jokes that we run on Mondays.

Sachs is an accomplished actor who had leading roles in Barefoot in the Park, Guys and Dolls, and Brighton Beach Memoirs.

Here's the setup: A customer walks into a shoe repair shop with a seven-year-old ticket. And then...

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

A Joke to Start the Week: "Inflight Conversation en Route to Las Vegas"

We're taking a break from Passover videos because although it's the first day of Chol Hamoed, the intermediate days of Pesach, it's also Monday, and time for a Joke to Start the Week.

Here's another one from Bob Hertzendorf, certified hypnosis counselor and our prolific supplier of jokes to help us start your week with a smile.

As we've told you before, Bob is actually into more than hypnosis. He has appeared in stage versions of popular Broadway shows, including Guys and Dolls, Lend Me a Tenor, Barefoot in the Park, and he played the rabbi in a production of Fiddler on the Roof.
 
Here's the setup for today's joke: I get on the plane to Las Vegas and I sit down to what appears to be a very attractive young lady, and on her sweater are the initials N.A.N.

So I say "Hi, Nan." And she says "My name isn't Nan, it's Alice." And then...

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)  
 

A Joke to Start the Week: "Incriminating Evidence"

Bob Hertzendorf, our prolific supplier of jokes to help us start your week with a smile, has sent us a few more that we'll be sharing with you.

Bob, a certified hypnosis counselor, is actually into more than hypnosis. He has appeared in stage versions of popular Broadway shows, including Guys and Dolls, Lend Me a Tenor, Barefoot in the Park, and he played the rabbi in a production of Fiddler on the Roof.
 
Here's the setup for today's joke: 

A divorce trial is going on in a courthouse in Japan. The judge turns to the plaintiff and asks him: "Tell me, why do you want to divorce this woman?" 

And then...

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO IS NOT VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.) 

A Joke to Start the Week - "The Golden Years"

It's another Bob Hertzendorf Monday. Today we're posting the last in a series of clips from Bob's standup comedy routine before an audience in Lakewood, New Jersey.

We've been lucky to have received a collection of these from Bob, an accomplished actor and comedian, and we're happy to share them with you. 

Bob is very prolific -- he just sent us some more jokes, and you can expect to see them in the weeks to come.

In today's clip Bob reflects on the new challenges that come with reaching the golden years.
Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO IS NOT VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

A Joke to Start the Week: "When Does Life Begin?"

It's another Bob Hertzendorf Monday. That means it's time for us to post another clip from Bob's standup comedy routine before an audience in Lakewood, New Jersey.

We've been lucky to have received a collection of these from Bob, an accomplished actor and comedian, and we're happy to share them with you. We have a few more in our files, and you can expect to see them in the weeks to come.

Today's clip is an oldie and a quickie. So don't rush to the kitchen for a coffee refill if you don't want to miss the punch line.

Here it goes:  A priest, a reverend, and a rabbi. When does life begin? And the priest said...

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO IS NOT VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

A Joke to Start the Week - "Ethnic Wedding Differences"

We love Mondays, and apparently so do most of our readers, because our Monday feature, the Joke to Start the Week, is usually the most widely viewed and shared post of the week.

We're lucky to have befriended Bob Hertzendorf, the New Jersey-based comedian and actor, who has been supplying us with jokes and stand-up routines for us to share with you. 

Bob has appeared on stage in productions of Fiddler on the Roof, The Man Who Came to Dinner, Lend Me a Tenor, Guys and Dolls, and Barefoot in the Park. 

Here's another clip from one of his shows for an audience in Lakewood, New Jersey. In it he talks about different responses to wedding music by Italian, Puerto Rican, and Jewish participants.  
Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

A Joke to Start the Week - "A Brooklyn Boy Tries Gardening"

Another Monday and another Joke to Start the Week.

We're starting off this week with another excerpt from a standup routine by Bob Hertzendorf. Bob has been kind in sharing some of his material with us. We've already posted a few of his jokes on previous Mondays.
 
Today we're posting a brief clip from one of his shows for an audience in Lakewood, New Jersey. In it he talks about his efforts to start gardening with less than ideal results.
 
Bob has appeared on stage in productions of Fiddler on the Roof, The Man Who Came to Dinner, Lend Me a Tenor, Guys and Dolls, and Barefoot in the Park.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

 

A Joke to Start the Week - "Florida, Texas, and Mexico"

We're starting off this week with an excerpt from a standup routine by Bob Hertzendorf. Bob has been kind in sharing some of his material with us. We've already posted a few of his jokes on previous Mondays.

Today we're posting a brief clip from one of his shows for an audience in Lakewood, New Jersey. It's a series of short observations about Jewish life in Florida, Texas, and Mexico.

Bob has appeared on stage in productions of Fiddler on the Roof, The Man Who Came to Dinner, Lend Me a Tenor, Guys and Dolls, and Barefoot in the Park.

We're starting the month off by heading down to South Florida, where we're booked for ten shows/lectures on Jewish humor in Deerfield Beach, Boca Raton, and Daytona Beach. We'll be posting our usual mix of jokes, funny happenings, and musical interludes from our February refuge from the snows of the north.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

A Joke to Start the Week - "A Very Unusual Disease"

It's the last Monday of 2015, so it's time for the last Joke to Start the Week. In 2015, that is. 

Next Monday we'll be back with the first Joke to Start the Week of 2016. When we started the weekly Monday joke back in August of 2012, we didn't think we could keep finding enough jokes to keep the series going. 

Thanks to the Old Jews Telling Jokes website and a group of our friends and readers who were recruited or volunteered, we've been able to give you a joke every week.

If you're a joke teller who'd like to appear on Jewish Humor Central with a Monday joke, send us a video clip (family-friendly only, please) for our review. Or catch up with us at one of our Florida lectures in February and we'll try to record your joke on the spot.

Today we're sharing another joke from Bob Hertzendorf, our favorite certified hypnosis counselor. (How many certified hypnosis counselors do you know?)

Here's the setup: Mr Goldberg goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough physical -- blood work and everything, and then...

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

A Joke to Start the Week - "Tefilin in the Hospital"

It's Monday again, the day on which we get the most page views. And we know why. It's the day that we've been running the Joke to Start the Week since July 2012. We'll keep running them every Monday until we run out of jokes. 

Today's joke teller is our latest supplier of oldies but goodies, Bob Hertzendorf, the certified hypnosis counselor. 

Bob is actually into more than hypnosis. He has appeared in stage versions of popular Broadway shows, including Guys and Dolls, Lend Me a Tenor, Barefoot in the Park, and he played the rabbi in a production of Fiddler on the Roof.

Here's the setup for today's joke: In the middle of the night, a rabbi has to go into the hospital for an emergency appendectomy. And then...

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

A Joke to Start the Week - "Wall Street Journal Cover-Up"

After a few weeks of skipping our Monday week-starting joke because we didn't post on Rosh Hashanah, Sukkot, and Shemini Atzeret, we're back with our most popular feature, the joke to start the week.

This week we're introducing another Jersey Jewish joke teller who's new to Jewish Humor Central. Bob Hertzendorf, a certified hypnosis counselor, contacted us and offered some of his funny material for inclusion in our postings. It didn't take long for us to recognize his joke-telling skills, so here is the first of a few of Bob's stand-up deliveries.

Here's the setup: The scene is Miami Beach. The poolside. The condominium. This elderly gentleman comes down. He's wearing a bathrobe, carrying his Wall Street Journal. He plops down on the chaise lounge and starts reading. And then...

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)