A Joke to Start the Week - "The Answerphone"

Another Monday, another Joke to Start the Week. It's always good to find new sources of jokes, and we were lucky to find some new old jokes told by David Apfel. We're giving a tip of the kippah to David Glassman, who posted them on YouTube.

Now living in Modiin, Israel, David Apfel is an accomplished entertainer and chazzan. He sings in several languages with repertoire ranging from the musicals to opera. He has officiated internationally at several orthodox synagogues and he also specializes in ''Kosher Komedie''. 

He also likes to tell jokes. Here's one about a novel use for an answerphone. 

Here's the setup: Two Yiddishe women are talking. One says to the other  "How're you doing?" The other woman says "I'm doing fine. But my Hymie has put in what is called a 'hanserphone.'" The other woman says "Vus is a hanserphone?" And then...

Enjoy!

Comedian Talia Reese on the Value of a Jewish Education

Today we're sharing a video clip by Talia Reese. The New York Post recently featured a nearly full-page article about her life and comedy entitled, "Orthodox Jewish Comic Finds Balance Between Raunch and Religion," and called her a "Hot Ticket". 

Talia attended law school and worked as a lawyer, is married to a fellow lawyer, and lives in Great Neck, New York. Her standup routines are sometimes risque, but she cleans up her act when she performs at synagogues.

Here's a clip of Talia explaining the value of a Jewish education.

Enjoy! 

A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.

Welcoming Shavuot and Shabbat with an Israeli Harvest Song

Kippalive is an Israeli a cappella group that started out as a group of friends in Raanana who got together every Friday night to sing and were discovered while singing in the streets of Raanana.

We featured them previously in a cappella songs for Chanukah, Passover, and Shabbat.

Finding songs for Shavuot, which starts at sundown tonight, isn't as easy as it is for the other Jewish holidays. But Kippalive has posted an old favorite, Saleinu al Ktefeinu, (Our baskets are on our shoulders), which we're glad to share with you today.

Shavuot is also known as Yom HaBikkurim (Day of the first fruits) and Chag HaKatzir (Harvest Festival). So naturally, the Kipppalive singers put flowers on their heads and sang in a field!  

Below the video you'll find the transliterated Hebrew and English lyrics.

We'll be observing Shavuot on Friday and Shabbat, so our next post will be on Sunday.

Chag sameach and Shabbat shalom!

A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.



Hebrew:

Saleinu al k'tefeinu, rasheinu aturim,
miktzot ha'aretz banu haveinu bikkurim.
Mihudah mihudah v'ad shomron,
min ha'emek min ha'emek v'lagalil,
panu derech lanu, bikkurim itanu,
hach hach hach batof v'chalel b'chalil.W
hach hach hach batof v'chalel b'chalil.
Saleinu al k'tefeinu, rasheinu aturim,
miktzot ha'aretz banu haveinu bikkurim.
Mihudah mihudah v'ad shomron,
min ha'emek min ha'emek v'lagalil,
panu derech lanu, bikkurim itanu,
hach hach hach batof v'chalel b'chalil.
hach hach hach batof v'chalel b'chalil.

English:

Our baskets on our shoulders, crowned heads,
From the ends of the land we came we brought first fruits.
From Yehuda and the Shomron, from the valley,
And the Galil, make way for us, first fruits
with us, bang the drum and play the flute. 

Comedian Modi's Character "Yoeli" Discovers and Reviews Reality TV

We've been following the career and shtick of comedian Modi Rosenfeld ever since we started Jewish Humor Central in 2009. Whether it's his standup comedy or clever skits and short films, he always leaves us laughing.

With comedy clubs closed during the coronavirus lockdowns, Modi has had to find new ways of reaching his audience.

As Brianna Kovit wrote in the Long Island Press,

Since 1999 when he left his position as an investment banker at Merrill Lynch to pursue comedy full time, Modi has been constantly booked for shows across the country.

Like many performers right now, the stay-at-home order has forced Modi to remain home in New York City for longer than he has in the last 20 years. Without a face-to-face audience, Modi has turned to social media to fuel his creativity and engage with his followers.

Modi’s breakout quarantine success came from a new character he created called “Yoely.” In this character, Modi appealed to his niche Jewish following with a comedic take on a Hasidic man reacting to mainstream trends while in quarantine.

“You have to open the synagogues,” said “Yoely” in a video directed at Gov. Andrew Cuomo. “If I have to spend one more day with my wife, I’m gonna rip out my payos.”

On Instagram, the videos include “Yoely” reacting to popular reality shows such as Love is Blind and Too Hot to Handle. One of the character’s most popular videos to date is a review of the quarantine phenomenon Tiger King. The “Yoely” videos have amassed more than 100,000 views combined.

In this video, Yoeli talks about his discovery of reality TV and reviews popular reality shows.

Enjoy!

A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.

A "Hava Nagila" Inspired by George Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue"

Hannah Hoffman is a songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and music producer with a BFA from The New School for Jazz and Contemporary Music and an MA from The Jewish Theological Seminary of America. 

Her latest project, Music Meets Philosophy, aims to inspire intellectual curiosity through songs that are both educational and entertaining.

In this video, Hannah plays four instruments in a creative rendition of Hava Nagila that was inspired by George Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue.

Enjoy!

A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.


 

A Joke to Start the Week - "A Pledge for the UJA"

It's another Monday, and it's time for another joke to start the week. Here comes another one from Toronto's Jewish Folks Telling Jokes, a night of comedy to benefit Jewish Family and Child, one of the foremost Jewish service agencies in North America. 

 

We previously posted a few jokes that were told at the event, a Canadian contribution to the world of Jewish humor, probably inspired by the off-Broadway show Old Jews Telling Jokes, still touring around the USA.

 

We'll be posting more of these jokes on upcoming Mondays. Here's another one, told by Ben Gordon.

Here's the setup: Two gentlemen of the Hebrew persuasion find themselves in the reception area of a large downtown law firm. The first gentleman says "Excuse me, I'd like to see Mr. John McCullogh." And then...

Enjoy!

A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.

16 Female Cantors From Around the World Sing "Jerusalem of Gold"

In honor of Jerusalem’s 53rd reunification anniversary this week, 16 female cantors from around the world united to sing Yerushalayim Shel Zahav (Jerusalem of Gold).

Naomi Shemer wrote the original song for the Israeli Song Festival held on 15 May 1967, the night after Israel's nineteenth Independence Day. She chose the then-unknown Shuli Natan to sing the song.

The cantors are from Israel, Germany, and 13 cities in the USA. Here is a list of the cantors, their synagogues, and their cities. 

Adi Arad, Petach Tikva, Israel 
Hazzan Alisa Pomerantz-Boro, Congregation Beth El, Voorhees, NJ, USA 
Atalya Lavi, Beit Tefilah Israeli, Tel Aviv, Israel 
Cantor Aviv Weinberg, Celle Synagogue, Berlin, Germany
Cantor Elizabeth Shammash, Tiferet Bet Israel, Philadelphia, PA, USA 
Cantor Julia Cadrain, Central Synagogue, New York, NY, USA 
Laurie Akers, Congregation Or Shalom, Vernon Hills, IL, USA 
Cantor Lisa Peicott, Wilshire Boulevard Temple, Los Angeles, CA, USA 
Cantor Lizzie Weiss, Temple Emanu-El, Beverly Hills, CA, USA 
Cantor Magda Fishman, B'nai Torah, Boca Raton, FL, USA 
Cantor Rachel Goldman, Congregation Ner Tamid of South Bay, Los Angeles, CA, USA 
Cantor Rebecca Garfein, Congregation Rodeph Shalom, New York, NY, USA 
Cantor Roslyn Barak, Congregation Emanu-El, San Francisco, CA, USA 
Cantor Sara Hass, Temple Israel, Long Beach, CA, USA 
Cantor Shira Lissek, Temple Israel, Charlotte, NC, USA 
Cantor Vicky Glikin, Temple Emanu-El, Dallas, TX, USA

Enjoy!

A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO IS NOT VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.

Today is Yom Yerushalayim - Put on Your Mask and Let's Visit Jerusalem

Today is Yom Yerushalayim (Jerusalem Day), the most recent addition to the Hebrew calendar. It is celebrated on the 28th day of Iyar (six weeks after the Passover seder, one week before the eve of Shavuot).

Although Jerusalem has been considered the capital city of the Jewish people since the time of King David — who conquered it and built it as the seat of his monarchy in approximately 1000 B.C.E.–there has never been a special day in honor of the city until the Israel Defense Forces took over the ancient, eastern part of the city on the third day of the Six-Day War in June 1967.

Shortly after the Six-Day War, “a municipal unification” of the two sections of the city took place, ending 19 years of separation between predominantly Arab and Jewish suburbs of Jerusalem, following the War of Independence in 1948.

Today we visit the city as it is today, led by a trio of masked tour guides. Our walking tour will take us to the Knesset, past a temperature checkpoint to the Mahane Yehuda market (shuk), Zion Square, Yafo Street, the Montefiore Windmill in Mishkenot Sha'ananim, and the Kotel HaMaaravi (Western Wall), where today social distancing is in effect.

The tour ends with video from the capture of the Old City in 1967 and scenes of joyful dancing in the streets when social closeness was the norm.

Enjoy Jerusalem's special day and Shabbat shalom!

A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO IS NOT VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.

Throwback Thursday Musical Showcase: Billy Joel and Itzhak Perlman Play "Downeaster Alexa"

Two Jews, two instruments, one voice, and beautiful music. That's what the audience saw and heard on March 9, 2015 when Billy Joel introduced Itzhak Perlman as his musical guest at one of his Madison Square Garden concerts.

After calling him the world's greatest violinist, Joel and Perlman blended their piano and violin with Joel's voice singing The Downeaster Alexa. 

This wasn't Perlman's first connection with that song. He can be heard playing an uncredited violin solo on Joel's album Storm Front, which included the song. Joel named the song for his boat, The Alexa, which was in turn named for his daughter.

Joel and Perlman performed the song in Madison Square Garden again on February 20, just before most concert performances were canceled in the wake of the coronavirus crisis.

Enjoy!

A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.



#Throwback Thursday   #TBT

The Real Story of Jonah and the Whale - As Told by Satiric Israeli TV Show "The Jews are Coming"

In 2014 Israeli satire on TV took a bold step forward with the airing of a new series of sketches called HaYehudim Ba'im (The Jews Are Coming).

Written by Natalie Marcus and Asaf Beiser, the show asks questions about everything, from the Bible to Ben Gurion to the Ashkenazi leadership. Their approach is to  go into the texts and make you think. They say that they give all their subjects a critical look, but they're not attacking, just giving the story a fresh, modern look.

The series ran for three seasons on Israeli TV, all in Hebrew. Some of the half-hour episodes were divided into video clips and published on YouTube with English subtitles. Today we're sharing another one of these -- a satirical view of the adventures of Jonah.

This video clip, like all the others in the series, may offend some readers who are not open to satirical interpretations of the scriptures and satirical views of Jewish life through the ages, but in these coronavirus times, we can use a little laughter.

Enjoy!

A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.