A Joke to Start the Week - "Twentieth Anniversary"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's the setup: A woman wakes up in the middle of the night. She looks around, and her husband is not in bed. And then...

Enjoy!

Comedian Modi Rosenfeld on The Hamptons (The Real Hamptons and Westhampton)

Voted one of the top 10 comedians in New York City by The Hollywood Reporter, Modi is one of the comedy circuit’s most sought-after performers. Featured on HBO, CBS, NBC, ABC, Comedy Central, Howard Stern, and E! Entertainment, Modi has received rave reviews in The New York Times, Time Out NY, and The New York Post. 

Born in Tel Aviv, Israel, Modi emigrated with his family to the United States at the age of seven and was raised on Long Island. 

After graduating from Boston University, he worked as an investment banker until his first open-mic night made him realize that stand-up was his true calling. Equipped with a sharp wit and a knack for reading an audience, Modi has gone on to become a successful fixture in New York's vibrant comedy scene, often doing bits that incorporate his heritage, and he is a hit with diverse Jewish audiences as well as fans of all backgrounds and beliefs. 

Here's Modi with an excerpt from one of his standup shows where he makes fun of the Hamptons and Westhampton.

The Hamptons are a popular summer destination for wealthy New Yorkers and celebrities. The area is known for its scenic beauty, historic charm, and luxury lifestyle. The Hamptons are made up of the towns of Southampton and East Hampton, and include many villages and hamlets. 

Some say the Hamptons are a haven for those who want to escape the hustle and bustle of New York City. The area has a variety of restaurants, from casual to fine dining, and some restaurants transform into nightclubs with parties that can last into the morning. The Hamptons are also home to a notable art scene with fine art museums. 

 

Westhampton has a large Jewish population.

 

Enjoy!

Amazon's Sukkot Gift Boxes Spell Out "Happy Tuchus"

What happens when you design a product featuring the phrase "Happy Sukkot" in Hebrew letters, but don't know that cutting and pasting the words from an internet source can result in their appearing backwards and totally changing their meaning? That's what happened this month when it was discovered that the Sukkot gift boxes sold on Amazon were printed with the Hebrew words "Happy Tuchus".

As Larry Yudelson reported in The Jewish Standard, the boxes were discovered by Jessica Russak-Hoffman while searching for Sukkot gift wrappings on Amazon.com.

But what led Russak-Hoffman to press the buy button was the extremely incompetent product design by someone who didn’t realize that when you cut-and-paste Hebrew from the web to an app, there’s always a chance the Hebrew letters will forget they’re supposed to flow from right to left.

Which is how a design which wishes “happy sukkot” in English can present Hebrew characters that approximately spell out tuchus — the Hebrew-derived Yiddish word for bottom or buttocks — which — who knew! — is what you get when you write “sukkot” backwards.

(Tuchus, Merriam Webster informs us, was first cited in English way back in 1886; derived from the Hebrew tachat, “under, below,” it is too slangy, even in Yiddish, to appear in the three Yiddish dictionaries we have at hand.)

But if you want to wish your friends a Sukkot-themed bottoms-up this year, you may be out of luck. The particular product that Russak-Hoffman bought is now unavailable; her tweet went viral, with 70,000 views, not only due to the backsided nature of the Hebrew text, but also the hilarious marketing photos, which included the Sukkot/Tuchus boxes on the table for both Pesach and Chanukkah observances.

Compounding the error, Amazon's photo of the Sukkot boxes shows the breaking of a matzah, which of course is a feature of the Passover seder and has nothing to do with Sukkot or tuchuses.

We'll be celebrating Sukkot and Shabbat for the next three days, and we'll be back with our usual mix of humor and music on Sunday.

Chag sameach and Shabbat Shalom!

 

 

Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places: Hava Nagila by Street Musician Karolina Protsenko

16-Year-Old Karolina Protsenko moved to California with her family from Ukraine a few years ago and established herself as a street musician playing the violin. Her style is to start playing in the street and let passers-by ask her to play their favorite songs. 

The Protsenkos now live in California but we're not sure where this version of Hava Nagila was played because they have traveled the world and Karolina plays in many cities.

In this video a little girl asks her if she can play Hava Nagila and when she says yes, her father picks up the microphone and gets into the act.

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week - "Three College Guys"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. This week we're posting another joke from Dr. Jay Orlikoff, a retired dentist from Centereach, New York, a community on Long Island in Suffolk County.

After a distinguished and meritorious dental career, he is shifting his focus to telling and posting jokes on YouTube. We were fortunate to find some of his jokes and we're sharing one of the family-friendly ones with you today. 

Here's the setup: There are three college guys who are really good friends. One's Italian, one's Irish, and one's Jewish. After graduation they make a pact that every year they'll get together. And then...

Enjoy!

Comedy Showcase: Elon Gold on Starbucks, Old Movie Stars, and Ethnic Neck Moves

We've been following Elon Gold and posting some of his shtick on Jewish Humor Central for the last 15 years. 

Elon is an American comedian, television actor, writer and producer. He starred in the television series Stacked.  He also starred in the short-lived sitcom In-Laws. 

 

Known for his impressions, including those of Jeff Goldblum, Howard Stern and Jay Leno, Gold was a judge on the ABC celebrity impersonation competition series The Next Best Thing. Gold was also in the movie Cheaper by the Dozen as a cameraman from the Oprah Winfrey show.

Gold attended the Westchester Day School in Mamaroneck, NY and the Marsha Stern Talmudical Academy (MTA)/Yeshiva University High School for Boys in Manhattan, NY. He is a practicing Orthodox Jew.

Today we're sharing a video clip from his TV special Chosen and Taken that includes observations about Starbucks baristas, old movie stars, and ethnic neck motions.

Enjoy!

Wishing All Our Readers a Meaningful Yom Kippur With a New Interpretation of Kol Nidrei

Yom Kippur begins at sundown tonight. Whether or not you fast, whether you attend services in a synagogue or via Zoom or live streaming, we wish you a meaningful Day of Atonement.

To get in the mood for the day, we're sharing a new version of Kol Nidrei by Cantor Azi Schwartz of New York's Park Avenue Synagogue.

In the spirit of renewed tradition, here is a new interpretation of Kol Nidrei. It blends the ancient melodic motifs with contemporary harmonies and orchestration, offering a modern reflection of this timeless Jewish prayer. 

Wishing you a G'mar Chatima Tova!

Throwback Thursday Yom Kippur Special: Cantor Yossele Rosenblaltt Sings Kol Nidrei in 1930

Josef "Yossele" Rosenblatt (May 9, 1882 – June 19, 1933) was an Ashkenazi chazzan and composer. He was regarded as the greatest cantor of his time. 

Rosenblatt was born on May 9, 1882, in the Russian Empire. The scion of a long line of cantors, Rosenblatt's devoutly religious upbringing prevented him from receiving formal musical training at any of the great academies of his day. He began his career as a member of the local synagogue choir. Quickly lauded as a "wunderkind", or child prodigy, Rosenblatt's solo career was launched. At the age of 7, he moved with his family to Austria.

Rosenblatt's fame extended beyond the Jewish world earning him large concert fees, a singing role in the 1927 film The Jazz Singer, and the sobriquet "The Jewish Caruso".

Rosenblatt corresponded with many of the great tenors of his day. It is told that upon hearing Rosenblatt sing "Elli Elli", Enrico Caruso was so moved that he ascended the stage and kissed him.

We searched the internet for a video of Cantor Rosenblatt singing Kol Nidrei, but only could find audio recordings with accompanying photos. So that's what we're posting today.

Enjoy!

 

   #Throwback Thursday       #TBT   

Israeli Singer Shiri Maimon and Italian Tenor Andrea Bocelli Sing "The Prayer" in Tel Aviv Concert

We are in the midst of Aseret Yemei Teshuva (The Ten Days of Repentance), a period when we turn to prayer.

Prayer takes many forms and many languages. Today we're sharing a version of The Prayer, a song written by David Foster and Carole Bayer Sager. Originally recorded by Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli and Canadian singer Celine Dion, this version was sung in English and Italian by Bocelli with Israeli singer Shiri Maimon at a concert in Tel Aviv in 2022.

Maimon rose to fame as the runner-up in the inaugural season of the singing reality competition Kokhav Nolad. She represented her native Israel in the Eurovision Song Contest 2005.

Enjoy!

Cantor Azi Schwartz Sings Hatikvah to Mark October 7 Anniversary

As we mark the one-year anniversary of October 7th, we reflect on the enduring strength of our friends and family in Israel, who continue to live through the ripple effects of war. 

Today, we remember the hostages still waiting for freedom, and we stand with their families in their suffering. We pray for peace.

Cantor Azi Schwartz of the Park Avenue Synagogue in New York City, accompanied by a choir and a full orchestra, sings Hatikvah.

Am Yisrael Chai!

A Joke to Start the Week - "Max and Rachel are in Love"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's the setup: Max and Rachel are in love and they decide to get married. Max goes to Mr. Smith, Rachel's father and asks for Rachel's hand. Mr. Smith says "You're only 10 years old." And then...

Enjoy! 

Five Surprising Facts About Jewish Identity

Unpacked, a division of Open Dor Media, has posted an interesting video about five surprising facts about Jews. We found it informative and want to share it with you.

Who are the Jewish People, really? With only 15 million Jews worldwide, opinions about them are plenty, but understanding is rare. Because beyond the stereotypes and assumptions, there’s a rich diversity within Judaism that defies simple categorization.

Here are 5 surprising facts about Jewish identity - including unique cultural practices, diversity of physical appearance, the importance of debate in shaping Jewish beliefs, and why “conversion” is less about changing beliefs and more about joining a family connected across both time and space.

Enjoy!

Wishing All of Our Readers a Shanah Tovah - Happy New Year 5785

 

Thanks to our loyal subscribers and casual readers worldwide who have joined us during the year.

We started Jewish Humor Central on October 5, 2009 and it's been going strong with more than 4500 blog entries and more than 10 million page views over the last 15 years.  

We appreciate your loyalty and we hope to keep bringing you a daily mix of Jewish humor in all of its forms -- traditional, eclectic, musical, unbelievable but true, and just funny, tempered with touches of nostalgia and Yiddishe nachas. 

We'll be attending services on Thursday, Friday, and Shabbat, and we'll be back posting again on Sunday.  Here's wishing you a happy, healthy, joyous, prosperous and funny New Year from our family to yours!

L'shanah Tovah Tikatevu v'techatemu!

Welcoming the New Year 5785 with Six13 a Cappella

Anchored by a strong Jewish identity and driven by a mission to connect Jews around the globe with their heritage through music, professional Jewish a cappella group Six13 are the originators of today's Jewish a cappella sound. 

They've performed to rave reviews at the White House and ten of thousands more at synagogues, religious schools, JCCs, fundraising events, B'nai Mitzvah and private affairs alike. They’ve appeared all over mainstream media, received numerous awards for their eight best-selling CDs, been selected as finalists for casting in NBC's "The Sing-Off", and garnered more than 20 million views online.

Now Six13 has released a rousing, energetic new musical video for Rosh Hashana titled "5785". It's a takeoff on the song "1985" by rock band Bowling for Soup, whose name is a takeoff on a comedy routine by Steve Martin with a title that we can't print here.

This is our last musical video for Rosh Hashanah 5785. Tomorrow we'll post our annual personal family greeting to our readers.

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week - "Shanghai Encounter"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's the setup: My wife and I took one of these guided trips to China. Most of the time the guide stayed with us but we had one Saturday morning when we were free. So she and I went walking along some back streets of Shanghai. And then...

Enjoy! 

Boys Town Jerusalem Choir Sings "Am Yisrael Chai"

The entire Boys Town Jerusalem choir came together in April to sing Eyal Golan's Am Yisrael Chai song. In this video you can also see the incredible things Boys Town Jerusalem students have done during the war, from collecting food for soldiers, volunteering in a preschool, to working in Israel's fields in the South. 

Boys Town Jerusalem is one of Israel's premier institutions for educating the country's next generation of leaders in the fields of technology, commerce, education, the military and public service. 

Since its founding in 1948, BTJ has pursued its mission of turning young boys from limited backgrounds into young men with limitless futures. From Junior High through the College level, the three part curriculum at Boys Town - academic, technological and Torah - is designed to turn otherwise disadvantaged Israeli youth into productive citizens of tomorrow. 

Boys Town’s 18 acre campus is a home away from home for its more than 950 students. More than 7,500 graduates hold key positions throughout Israeli society.

Enjoy! 

Welcoming Shabbat with Adon Olam by Trio Mandili, Georgian Folk Group

Tonight we welcome Shabbat with Adon Olam, as sung by Georgia (the country, not the state) folk group Trio Mandili. The trio have been very supportive of Israel during this difficult year.

As reported by The Times of Israel,

A few weeks after the October 7 Hamas rampage into southern Israel, Trio Mandili, a folkloric music group sometimes called “Georgia’s ambassadors to the world,” released a video covering a traditional Jewish prayer, in quite good Hebrew, while wearing blue and white.

“We could not stand aside after the tragic events in Israel on October 7. After what happened, we recorded a video for the song ‘Adon Olam’ and posted it on our pages on social networks. Many users wrote us very offensive things and even unfollowed us,” the group wrote in an email exchange with The Times of Israel.

Trio Mandili, three women who sing in the traditional polyphonic Georgian style and language, became international and social media stars several years ago after some of their early videos went viral, garnering many millions of views on YouTube.

After a tour through several European countries, the trio performed five concerts around Israel in June. 

Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!

Israeli Paratrooper Rami Reuveni Branches Out to Standup Comedy

Rami Reuveni is a former Israeli paratrooper who participated in numerous military operations, served as a reservist during the Gaza war, and has spent the last 13 years working as a tour guide in Israel.

Rami brings light and laughter to counter the darkness of the war. In his standup routine he shares his comical experiences as a soldier and tour guide.

Enjoy! 

Wacky Wednesday Comedy Special: Half-Baked Massage - A Candid Camera Classic

Candid Camera was an American hidden camera/practical joke reality television series created and produced by Allen Funt, which initially began on radio as The Candid Microphone on June 28, 1947. 

After a series of theatrical film shorts, also titled Candid Microphone, Funt's concept came to television on August 10, 1948, and continued into the 1970s. 

The show involved concealing cameras filming ordinary people being confronted with unusual situations, sometimes involving trick props, such as a desk with drawers that pop open when one is closed or a car with a hidden extra gas tank. When the joke was revealed, victims would be told the show's catchphrase, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera."

Peter Funt joined the show professionally in 1987 when he became a co-host with his father. During this time the show was being broadcast on the CBS television network. In 1993, Allen Funt had a serious stroke, from which he never fully recovered. This required Peter to host the show full-time. 

The show went through a few revivals. During his time on the show Peter was a producer, host and acted on the show. He also produced and hosted over 200 episodes. 

Twenty-two years ago the Candid Camera crew set up shop in a health spa and offered some very unusual massages. The men who came for treatments didn't expect to be coated with olive oil, teriyaki sauce, salt and pepper and grated cheese, but that's what they got.

Enjoy!

Yiddish Word of the Day - "Friday Night"

In 2020 the Forverts launched a daily series of short informal video clips called Yiddish Word of the Day.

The series, written and narrated by Forverts editor Rukhl Schaechter, aims to give non-Yiddish speakers an introduction to familiar Yiddish words and phrases and how they might be used in everyday situations. 

Schaechter, who was appointed the new editor of the Forverts in 2016, is the first woman to helm the paper in its 119-year history, its first editor to have been born in the United States, and likely its first editor who is shomeret Shabbat.

We posted the first of this series in May 2020. Now that the Forverts is continuing the series, we'll continue sharing some of the words and phrases as a regular feature of Jewish Humor Central.

Today we get to learn the Yiddish word for Friday night and some of the rituals and customs associated with the start of Shabbat.

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week - "Priest, Minister, and Rabbi in Bar"

It's been a long time since we posted a "priest, minister, and rabbi" joke. So when we came across this one by Dr. Jay Orlikoff, we couldn't resist sharing it with you.

Jay Orlikoff is a retired dentist from Centereach, New York, a community on Long Island in Suffolk County.

After a distinguished and meritorious dental career, he is shifting his focus to telling and posting jokes on YouTube. We were fortunate to find some of his jokes and we're sharing one of the family-friendly ones with you today. 

Here's the setup: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi are walking down the street on a really hot day. And they come upon a really busy bar, but none of them have any money. And then...

Enjoy!

Holiday Countdown: Yiddish Philharmonic Chorus Sings a High Holidays Medley

The Yiddish Philharmonic Chorus began as a musical expression of the Jewish labor movement. It was founded in 1922 as the Freiheit Gezang Farein, an outgrowth of the leftist Morgen Freiheit Yiddish newspaper. In 1948, the Chorus changed its name to The Jewish People’s Philharmonic Chorus—likely to avoid scrutiny during the McCarthy era. Now that it's a century old, they changed the name again—to reflect the goals of learning, enjoying, and promoting the Yiddish language and Yiddish choral music.

The chorus is a multigenerational thirty-five-voice ensemble. They're students, professionals, and robust retirees, all in love with singing and committed to promoting Yiddish language and culture through beautiful four-part harmony.

Led by conductor Binyumen Schaechter, they perform each spring and fall at Merkin Concert Hall and most summers at the North American Jewish Choral Festival. They've also performed at Symphony Space, Carnegie Hall, Shea Stadium, West Point, Queens College, the World Trade Center site after 9/11, and places of worship throughout the New York metropolitan area.

Today we're sharing a video of the chorus singing a medley of songs for Rosh Hashanah,  Sukkot, and Simchat Torah.

Enjoy!

Welcoming Shabbat With Adon Olam (to the Main Theme from Star Wars) by Cantor Marcus Feldman

The songs we sing in the synagogue on Shabbat can be set to many different tunes and there have been many adaptations of Adon Olam, Lecha Dodi, and Ein Keiloheinu that reflect popular songs from Broadway, Hollywood, and the Great American Songbook.

On May 4 (May the fourth be with you) Cantor Marcus Feldman of Temple Sinai in Los Angeles sang Adon Olam to the main theme from Star Wars, in an arrangement by Benjamin Fingerhut. This is the 95th version Adon Olam that we have posted. To see the other 94 versions, scroll down to Keywords in the left column on this page.

Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!

Comedian Zehavit Rosenbloom on Different Characters You May Encounter Before Rosh Hashanah

Rosh Hashanah is only two weeks away, and so we'll be sharing humor and music suited to the High Holidays between today and October 2.

Today we're sharing a comedy routine by Zehavit Rosenbloom, who posts humor under the name of Zeya Comedy.

Zehavit is a mom with seven children who is performing standup comedy and recording videos for Jewish audiences.She has created many Jewish characters including ultra religious Rebbetzins, secular Israelis, and El Al representatives who put passengers through intensive interrogations before letting them board planes.

In this sketch she impersonates the following types of characters that you're likely to encounter during this High Holiday period:

-The one who talks about donations

- The calendar fanatic

- The one who's all about doom

- The one who's all about peace and love

- The one who tries to be nice before Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur

- The Baal Teshuva

- The one who prays for food

- The one who's all about the tablescape

- The one who only cares about the food

- The blamer 

- The one who says "This is the year"

 

Enjoy! 

 

Wacky Wednesday Comedy Special: Casino Requires Life Vests - A Candid Camera Classic

Candid Camera was an American hidden camera/practical joke reality television series created and produced by Allen Funt, which initially began on radio as The Candid Microphone on June 28, 1947. 

After a series of theatrical film shorts, also titled Candid Microphone, Funt's concept came to television on August 10, 1948, and continued into the 1970s. 

The show involved concealing cameras filming ordinary people being confronted with unusual situations, sometimes involving trick props, such as a desk with drawers that pop open when one is closed or a car with a hidden extra gas tank. When the joke was revealed, victims would be told the show's catchphrase, "Smile, you're on Candid Camera."

Peter Funt joined the show professionally in 1987 when he became a co-host with his father. During this time the show was being broadcast on the CBS television network. In 1993, Allen Funt had a serious stroke, from which he never fully recovered. This required Peter to host the show full-time. 

The show went through a few revivals. During his time on the show Peter was a producer, host and acted on the show. He also produced and hosted over 200 episodes. 

Twenty-three years ago when Mississippi and other states said gambling casinos couldn't be built on land but only on water, the Candid Camera crew went to Gulfport where a casino stood in three feet of water. Gamblers were told that to enter the casino they had to wear life jackets. Let's see how they reacted.

Enjoy!

Yiddish Isn't the Only Jewish Language....There are at Least Five Others

You might know about Yiddish, but have you come across other Jewish languages like Ladino, Aramaic, Judeo-Persian, Judeo-Arabic, and several more that are spoken across the Diaspora and Israel? 

It's true that all Jews connect through the same religion, culture, and history, but it doesn't mean they all speak the same "Jewish" languages (we're pretty sure there are at least 5 Jewish languages you've never even heard of). 

Throughout history, Jewish communities have made their mark all over the world, and their languages reflect the cultures they've interacted with. Take Yiddish for example, which originated in medieval Germany, or Ladino, shaped by Sephardic Jews after they were expelled from Spain, or the variety of Judeo-Arabic dialects. These languages aren't just about communication—they offer a unique window into a diverse linguistic heritage that's been evolving for centuries.

Unpacked, a division of Open Dor Media, has posted an interesting video about these Jewish languages. We found it informative and want to share it with you.

Enjoy!