Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
We never stop being amazed at the popularity and resiliency of Hava Nagila, probably the most played Hebrew song of all time, and how often it appears in non-Jewish venues around the world.
Since we started posting on Jewish Humor Central in 2009, we have shared 126 renditions of this song with you. So here comes number 127.
Just yesterday, the 9th Grade Chorus of the Pennfield Middle School in a Pennsylvania suburb started off its winter concert with a performance of Hava Nagila.
"Please do not uproot the planted,
Do not forget the hope.
Bring me back and I shall return
to the good land."
Today is Chol Hamoed, the intermediate day of Passover, but it's still a struggle to say "Happy Holidays".
We found words of encouragement and comfort in the song "Al Kol Eleh”, (For All These), the words of encouragement that Naomi Shemer wrote to her widowed sister.
Join us in watching and listening to the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra and the musicians of the IDF Orchestra conducted by Major Rom Shamir
in this timeless entreaty to God. We hope the line "Hashiveni v'ashuva" (Bring me back and I shall return) is heard and that our hostages return soon.
Moadim L'simcha!
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We have posted many versions of Hatikvah, Israel's national anthem over the years, but this is the first one in English, an exact translation of the Hebrew words.
The English words are shown over video images from the current war in Gaza in honor of the courageous men and women of the Israel Defense Forces (IDF) and Jews everywhere.
Am Yisrael Chai!
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We've been posting versions of Hebrew liturgical and popular songs by Yonina (Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town of Pardes Chana, Israel.)
They have been uploading home videos to Facebook and YouTube and reaching millions.
Melaketet Kochavim (Gathering Stars) is a new original song, telling their story, from the morning of October 7th when everything changed, through the past months, with Yoni away in the reserves and Nina at home, the distance and challenges and the hope for better days. The Hebrew lyrics and English translation appear below the video.
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הייתי בדרך לבית כנסת כשעלית על מדים
ובפינת הרחוב נפרדת ממני ומהילדים
הסברתי שאבא עכשיו צריך לשמור,
ולא רציתי שידעו ממה
ובדרך אנשים שאלו מה אתם עושים בחוץ, פרצה מלחמה
ועכשיו- אני אוספת את כל הכוחות
של חסד ושל אמונה
שעוד יבואו ימים של טוב
שעוד תשוב אלינו הרינה
ומחבקת חזק ת׳ילדים
רק להגן מהסופות שבחוץ
ובתוך הטירוף
מול שמיים שחורים
מלקטת כוכבים
בלילות הראשונים לא ישנתי,
דרוך על המשמר
חתמתי על ציוד בעולם מקביל,
נפרדתי מכל מה שמוכר
יש כאן אחוות לוחמים וימים מתישים מבלי לדעת מה יהיה מחר
שבועות כבר הפכו חודשים,
ובכל זאת נשארים עד שהאופק יואר
ועכשיו אני שולח לך ים של כוחות
של חסד ושל אמונה
שעוד יבואו ימים של טוב,
שעוד תשוב אלינו הרינה
אז תחבקי חזק ת׳ילדים
רק להגן מהסופות שבחוץ
ובתוך הטירוף מול שמיים שחורים
מלקט לך כוכבים
ולמרות הגעגוע אלייך
ולמרות שקשה כאן לבד
לפעמים כדי לנצח ביחד
צריך לעמוד בנפרד
כל אחד בחזית שלו
עד הניצחון
אז לעכשיו, אני אוספת את כל הכוחות…
I was on my way to synagogue (Shul)
when you put on your uniform
and at the corner of the street
you said goodbye to me and to the children
I explained that daddy now needs to go protect
and I didn’t want them to know from what
and on the way, people asked us
what are you doing outside
a war has broken out
So now I am gathering all of my strength
of kindness, and of faith
that good days are yet to come
that the songs of joy will return to us
and I hug the children tightly
to protect from the storms outside
and in all the craziness under black skies
I gather stars
The first few nights I didn’t sleep
Cautious, on the guard
I signed on to equipment in a parallel world
I left everything that was familiar
Here the is brotherhood of warriors
and exhausting days
without knowing what tomorrow will bring
Weeks have turned to months
And yet we still stay
Until the horizon is lit up
And although I miss you
And although it’s hard here alone
Sometimes in order to prevail together
It’s necessary to stand separately
This week we welcome Shabbat with an original adaptation of V'Shamru by Leah Shoshanah. The song is an integral part of the Kabbalat Shabbat service.
Leah Shoshanah is a Chicago-based singer, songwriter & Jewish musician whose soulful, original music deftly navigates the folk, funk, rock and jazz genres. Shoshanah’s original music takes on a life of its own and has inspired audiences to sit spellbound, sing together, laugh, cry and dance.
Shoshanah has played on historic stages in Chicago, like the Old Town School of Folk Music, PianoForte, Martyrs’ and the Green Mill. She has played to audiences of thousands on tour in Germany, put on cabaret-style solo acts in underground neighborhood theaters, led musical meditations, and helped individuals and communities move through loss and celebrate life.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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We continue to be amazed by the number of countries where Hava Nagila has been performed. This is the 116th rendition of the popular Hebrew song that we've posted since starting Jewish Humor Central in 2009.
Here's the latest version that we just found, a concert performance last December by the KIC Pop Choir in the tiny Balkan country of Montenegro.
Montenegro is sandwiched between former Yugoslavian countries, Croatia, Bosnia & Herzegovina, Kosovo, Serbia and Albania.
The country is famous for its spectacular mountains, glacial lakes, the
elegant beach resorts of the Budva Riviera, and the UNESCO World
Heritage listed Bay of Kotor.
And now, for Hava Nagila.
Enjoy!
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Hava Nagila continues to be a favorite all over the world. Today we're posting our 116th version of this popular song, performed at a Klezmer festival last month in Budapest, Hungary.
Because the it got such an enthusiastic reception, there will be a repeat concert in the FMH Cultural Center in Budapest on April 16.
Enjoy!
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Last week Dutch conductor and violinist Andre Rieu took his Johann Strauss Orchestra to the Ergo Arena in Northern Poland, located between the Baltic Sea cities of Gdansk and Sopot.
The program included a rousing version of Hava Nagila. It's the 107th version of Hava Nagila that we've posted since starting Jewish Humor Central 13 years ago.
Rieu and the orchestra have turned classical and waltz music into a worldwide
concert touring act, as successful as some of the biggest global pop and
rock music acts. Rieu's father was conductor of the Maastricht Symphony Orchestra in the Netherlands.
Showing early promise, André began studying violin at the age of five.
From a very early age, he developed a fascination with orchestra. Rieu created the Johann Strauss Orchestra in 1987 and began with 12
members, giving its first concert on 1 January 1988. Over the years it
has expanded dramatically, nowadays performing with between 80 and 150
musicians. Rieu and his orchestra have performed throughout Europe, North and
South America, Japan, and Australia. The size and revenue of their tours
are rivaled only by the largest pop and rock music acts.
Enjoy!
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Finding songs for
Shavuot, which starts after the end of Shabbat tomorrow night, isn't as easy as it is for the
other Jewish holidays. But Yonina has posted an old favorite, Saleinu al
Ktefeinu, (Our baskets are on our shoulders), which we're glad to share
with you today.
Shavuot
is also known as Yom HaBikkurim (Day of the first fruits) and Chag
HaKatzir (Harvest Festival).
Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town of Pardes Chana,
Israel, have been uploading home videos to
Facebook and Youtube and reaching millions. They have both been singing and
writing since they can remember, and have been making music together ever
since they met.
Below the video
you'll find the transliterated Hebrew and English lyrics. We'll be
observing Shavuot on Sunday and Monday, so our next post will be on Tuesday. Shabbat shalom and Chag sameach! A
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2025 and 2026 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2025 and 2026 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2025 and 2026 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Dry Bones Books on sale at Amazon
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Dry Bones, Golden Oldies: Lots of people have suggested that we need to
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Listen to the episode here Host Rabbi Gil Student is joined by Rabbi
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[image: Story 375601404]
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Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
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It is about time that I brought back my “Jerusalem: Meet Jerusalem” walking
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
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