Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
On the first night of Chanukah this year on the Ellipse across from the White House, the National Menorah Orchestra and the “8th Day Band” performed a medley of popular Chanukah songs at the National Menorah Lighting in Washington D.C.
The event was hosted by American Friends of Lubavitch.
Every year thousands of Chabad shluchim (emissaries) gather for a kinus (international conference) and this year was no exception.
Last week 6,500 rabbis from all over the world convened for a group photo in Brooklyn in front of Chabad headquarters at 770 Eastern Parkway. After the photo they headed for a banquet in Edison, New Jersey.
The group gets bigger every year. When we reported on the gathering in 2011, 2016, and 2018, the number of attendees was around 5,000. As you can see, the photo is of men only, and the female members of the Chabad couples have their own separate conference.
In 2011 we had some fun with the photo shoot and embedded an image of the popular Waldo character to give our readers a chance to find "Where's Waldo" in the crowd.
In 2016 comedian Meir Kay joined in the photo wearing a Batman costume. The black outfit was a perfect match for the black clothed rabbis.
This year we're playing it straight and just showing the actual photo and a snippet from the hour-long effort to position all the rabbis for the photo shoot.
In a recent interview with Stephen Colbert, CNN anchor Jake Tapper reminisced about his trip to Ukraine where he interviewed president Vlodomyr Zelenskyy and gave him a box of matzot for Passover.
Tapper explained that it was the first time he didn't have a seder for Passover, but the local Chabad rabbi gave him the seder essentials in a box so he could have a one-man seder in Ukraine.
Enjoy!
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Mendy
Pellin is our favorite Chasidic comedian. We've been running his
shtick for 14 years, and he keeps inventing new routines, from his Mendy Report on Chabad TV to the comedy midrash he created on the Jewbellish site that he co-founded.
Now Pellin has posted a monologue on YouTube in which he narrates his autobiography to the camera, telling us how he got started in comedy and how he has been able to turn his penchant for humor into a full-time occupation.
Enjoy!
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Last week in the Israeli town of Savyon, ten couples stood underneath their wedding canopies, which were lined up
side by side on a large stage. 1,500 guests looked on as the brides and
grooms took their vows in one of the largest joint marriage ceremonies to
ever take place in Israel.
As Jennifer Hassan-Smith reported for i24 News,
The unique ceremony was
organized by the Savyon Chabad Community as part of an initiative called
"Marrying the Warrior." They are helping couples like these — whose
previous wedding plans were derailed by the war — finally celebrate
their unions.
In all of
these couples, either the groom or bride have been serving in the IDF
reserves, and have had to reschedule their dream day several times
before the organizers stepped in with the special offer.
Such
is the case of Moshe and his bride, who were supposed to get married on
October 12. While a mass ceremony is the opposite of their initial
plans for an intimate wedding, they were grateful for the chance to
celebrate their coming together as a family, and participate in a larger
display of joy and solidarity amid the war.
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It's
Monday again, and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today we're
sharing a joke told by Rabbi Avrohom Rapoport, also known as Rabbi Raps.
Rabbi Rapoport is the spiritual Leader of
the Chabad Ventnor Shul at the New Jersey shore.
He is a graduate of the Rabbinical College of
America and received his Rabbinical Ordination in 2003. Rabbi Rapoport
is also the director of the Jewish Learning Institute of Atlantic
County.
Here's
the setup: A young boy went to school for the first time. His mommy walked him to the school and said to him "My shepseleh, my zeeskeit, bubbeleh, be a good boy in school today." And then...
Enjoy!
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In times of sadness and anger, it's comforting and inspirational to see examples of the Jewish community uniting in solidarity.
Such a moment took place this week at the Kotel (Western Wall) in Jerusalem when a two-year-old child from Chabad stood on a chair in the presence of a group of IDF soldiers and led them in reciting the Sh'ma and an excerpt from the Passover Haggadah.
In this video clip you can see the child leading and the soldiers responding to the Sh'ma and to the first sentence from this paragraph in the Haggadah:
In each and every generation, a person is obligated to see himself as if he left Egypt, as it is stated (Exodus 13:8); "For the sake of this, did the Lord do [this] for me in my going out of Egypt." Not only our ancestors did the Holy One, blessed be He, redeem, but rather also us [together] with them did he redeem, as it is stated (Deuteronomy 6:23); "And He took us out from there, in order to bring us in, to give us the land which He swore unto our fathers."
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Tonight we celebrate a double simcha. The first day of Sukkot starts on Shabbat. Thanks to Chabad, we're sharing a fun and upbeat refresher on all the features of this very special holiday.
This video reviews all of the major features of this holiday, from the sukkah, the arba minim (four species), and holiday practices.
We picked up our lulav and etrog today, and are looking forward to shaking them with the myrtle and willow branches starting Sunday and continuing through the week.
We will be observing Shabbat and Sukkot for the next two days, so Jewish Humor Central is taking a short break. We'll be back on Monday with our usual mix.
Shabbat shalom and Chag Sameach!
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It's Monday again, and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today we're sharing a joke told by Rabbi Avrohom Rapoport, also known as Rabbi Raps. Rabbi Rapoport is the spiritual Leader of
the Chabad Ventnor Shul at the New Jersey shore.
He is a graduate of the Rabbinical College of
America and received his Rabbinical Ordination in 2003. Rabbi Rapoport
is also the director of the Jewish Learning Institute of Atlantic
County.
Here's the setup: A rabbi stands up in front of the congregation and there's a hole in the ceiling and the water is dripping in. And then...
Enjoy!
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Everything is bigger in Texas, and celebrating Purim in Houston is no exception.
One of twelve Houston branches of Chabad Lubavitch of Texas,
Chabad of Uptown is located in the heart of the trendy Uptown area,
near the Galleria, River Oaks and Memorial areas, offering Shabbat
services, classes, holiday programs, a vibrant young professionals
group and a Mommy and Me program among other outreach activities.
Rabbi Chaim Lazaroff, who leads Chabad of Uptown with his wife Chanie, appeared on Houston's Fox 26 Morning Show to explain Purim to the TV audience and to demonstrate the use of the world's biggest gragger.
Enjoy!
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We've been posting versions of Hebrew liturgical and popular songs by Yonina (Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town of Pardes Chana, Israel.)
They have been uploading home videos to Facebook and YouTube and reaching millions.
They have both been singing and writing since they can remember, and have been making music together ever since they met. The name Yonina is a combination of both their first names, Yoni and Nina.
Here they are singingthe first verses of Anim Zemirot, a liturgical poem that is sung toward the end of the Musaf service in most congregations on Shabbat. The melody is a Chabad nigun, and Yonina recorded this version in honor of Yat Kislev, the 19th day of Kislev, a Chabad holiday celebrated as the Rosh Hashanah of Chassidism. It was on this date, in the year 1798, that the founder of Chabad Chassidism, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (1745–1812), was freed from his imprisonment in czarist Russia.
I will chant hymns and weave songs,
for my soul pants after thee.
My soul longs to be in the shadow of thy hand,
to gain the knowledge of every secret of thy mysteries.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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In its latest effort to strengthen the
bond between Israel and American Jewry, the Ruderman Family Foundation
this month launched a 10-part original video series, “Jewish Foodie.”
The series aims to encourage Israelis to deepen their knowledge about
U.S. Jewish communities, and Jewish Americans to become better
acquainted with their rich and diverse heritage and culture, all
accomplished through a rich and fascinating culinary journey of Jewish
food across the U.S.
Hosted by the well-known Israeli actor
and comedian Ori Laizerouvich, “Jewish Foodie” takes viewers on a
journey of the broad diversity of American Jewry as a whole and its
communities in particular through the innovative vehicle of food.
Focusing on the personal stories and cultural influences associated with
Jewish food in four American regions, the series explores the
Northeast, with its bagels and lox, knishes, delis, hot dogs, Chinese
food and vegan fare; the Southeast, including barbecue, bourbon and
baked goods; the Southwest, featuring tacos, Jewish-style burgers with
latkes (“Jew Boy Burger”), huevos rancheros and rodeo food; and the
Midwest, with pastrami sandwiches, bison burgers and Canukah
gelt-making.
Viewers not only discover American Jewish communities’ food
stories, but also the broader character of the communities themselves
and their members, including communities whose Jewish presence may be
surprising.
Actor and comedian Laizerouvich is a familiar face to fans of the Chai Flicks streaming series Shababnikim (The New Black) where he plays the role of Gedaliah, a very religious and very serious Yeshiva student.
In
this third episode of the series, Laizerouvich visits the Miss Ada Israeli restaurant and the home of Rabbi Manis Friedman, a well-known Hassid, rabbi, author, social philosopher and public speaker.
(A note to our readers:
While all of the food establishments visited by Laizerouvich specialize
in Jewish food, only a few of them have kosher certification. In this Brooklyn video, only the Friedman home is kosher.)
Be
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free subscription. Or enter www.jewishhumorcentral.com into your browser each day. We'll be sharing the next nine episodes of this series with you each Sunday. Enjoy!
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Today we welcome Shabbat with a beautiful rendition of Yedid Nefesh, which is sung at the beginning of the Kabbalat Shabbat service on Friday night. The singers are Rabbi Motti Feldman and his son Menachem Feldman, both Chabad emissaries in Sydney, Australia.
The song was originally performed by Yehoram Gaon. The musical arrangement is by Raymond Goldstein.
Enjoy and Shabbat shalom!
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We knew that many Israelis, after completing their army service, spend time traveling in Thailand. But until now, we hadn't heard of an American Jew from Kansas moving to Thailand to be a rice farmer in a small village. Rabbi Yoni Golker, a member of the rabbinic team at St. John's Wood and Saatchi Synagogue in London, has started a series of videos portraying Jewish life around the world, including places where you wouldn't expect to see it thriving. In the middle of the coronavirus lockdowns, while in Jerusalem, Rabbi Golker interviewed Zevulun, the rice farmer in a virtual session between Jerusalem and Thailand. Rabbi Golker was fascinated to meet Zevulun the rice farmer, from Sakon Nakhon,
North East Thailand. Zevulun, originally from the USA, is certainly not
your typical Thai farmer. He lives in a 34 acre farm in rural Thailand and is an observant Jew . He wakes up
daily before sunrise to pray Shacharit and put on tefillin. He spends one
Shabbat a month in Bangkok, returning with a suitcase of kosher chicken
and meat. His story is incredible and he is certainly an inspiration!
Enjoy!
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A few days ago, Rabbi Avrohom Rapoport, who runs the Chabad Chai Center in Ventnor, New Jersey, received an Instagram message from a young Orthodox Jewish man in Puti, Uganda. He was the leader of a Ugandan youth group in their synagogue and asked Rabbi Rapoport to give a class to the group via Zoom. The rabbi agreed, and soon found himself being questioned by a group of 15 teenagers. He played "Stump the Rabbi" with them, and he was stumped. We noticed that the group did not practice social distancing and we wondered how they were dealing with the coronavirus. As of yesterday, Uganda had 116 confirmed cases, 55 recovered, and 0 deaths.
So maybe they know something that we don't. Enjoy and stay safe.
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Last week more than 5,000 Chabad rabbis and their supporters gathered in Brooklyn for their annual Kinus Hashluchim, a conference of the Chabad emissaries from around the world.
A highlight of the evening was a Wilmington rabbi who shared his personal journey to religious observance in a rap song.
Rabbi Motti Flikshtein, program director at Chabad of Wilmington,
Delaware, told the spellbound audience of 5,000 men how it was a single
hug from Rabbi Aryeh Weinstein of Chabad of Bucks County, Pennsylvania
that transformed him from an wayward teenager into a practicing Orthodox
Jew.
Rabbi Flikshtein, who started rapping when he was in high school,
launched into the first verse and the chorus of a single titled Coming
Home that he released in 2010 as the “Rapping Rabbi” under the name
Mor-To-Life.
His nearly one and a half minute long rap focused on how he realized
that his life was devoid of meaning until he discovered his faith.
Despite the unconventional style of his music, Rabbi Flikshtein’s delivery was greeted with thunderous applause.
Enjoy!
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Last November, 5000 Chabad rabbis came to Brooklyn for the 30th annual International Conference of Chabad Shluchim (representatives). Workshops included topics as diverse as community building and social
media strategies.
Themes addressed the role of leadership and problem
solving. Some sessions were more specific: lockdown training, lessons in
creating fundraising strategies and assisting teens and families in
crisis.
Chabad Lubavitch representatives serve communities on six
continents. Their reach goes as far as Vietnam and Ghana, and now, as was formally announced at the
Conference, Uganda, in eastern Africa will be the 100th country served by Chabad.
But this annual event is not without some humor. What better way to spend the time waiting for bleachers to be set up for the annual photo shoot than exchanging some old Jewish jokes?
Let's listen in as some of the attendees tell some oldies but goodies.
Enjoy!
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Red Buttons, the comedian who became known at celebrity roasts for his "never got a dinner" speech, appeared on a Chabad telethon in 2009.
He had the audience laughing when he performed a variation on the speech, listing famous Jews since the beginning of time who never did a show for Chabad. At the Telethon, he was introduced by Jan Murray, whom we profiled yesterday as one of the great Jewish Comedians.
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"Two Jews, Shmuel and Velvel, went into the television business. So they both went to the rabbi, Shneur Zalman." So starts a story told by Carroll O'Connor to Martin Balsam on a 1983 Chabad telethon.
What was "Archie Bunker" doing on a Chabad telethon? Two years earlier a Chabad House had burned down. O'Connor walked by and noticed the devastation. He immediately called Chabad and asked if there was anything he could do. Chabad asked him to appear on their next telethon to help raise funds for rebuilding the structure. O'Connor appeared with Martin Balsam who played his friend Murray Klein on Archie Bunker's Place, the spin-off series from All in the Family from 1979 to 1981. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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When 5,000 Chabad rabbis gathered in Brooklyn last month for their annual international conference, they posed for the traditional group photo, sitting in multi-level bleachers constructed just for the occasion. The same photo is taken every year, but unlike the unvarying black clothing that they wear, the advance of technology makes a difference. This year the rabbis were pranked by Meir Kalmanson, whose funny videos about high-fiving in New York and dancing behind people in Jerusalem we have been sharing with you. Kalmanson, who goes by the name Meir Kay, made a video about the construction of the bleachers and the anticipation of attendees for the big snap. We thought it would have been a great idea to have someone dressed in a Waldo costume infiltrate the group and turn it into a Where's Waldo? moment, but Kalmanson had a better idea. What better comic book character to insert himself into the photo but Batman? Dressed in a Batman costume, the prankster joined the thousands of similarly clad rabbis. The funny photo was picked up by the Daily Mail in the UK and elsewhere. Another intruding technological influence was the selfie, enabled by many of the rabbis pulling out their smartphones, unable to resist the rare opportunity for a closeup with a sea of black clad rabbis in the background. Enjoy! A
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2025 and 2026 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2025 and 2026 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2025 and 2026 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
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The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Jewish Action Podcast episode 2
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Listen to the episode here Host Rabbi Gil Student is joined by Rabbi
Yisrael Motzen (Ner Tamid; Assistant to the OU EVPs; Director, Kol Echad)
to unpack tw...
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Dry Bones Golden Oldies in the fond memory of Yaakov Kirschen (Dry Bones).
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Thoughts on the Haggadah by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum
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[image: Story 375601404]
We just recently were able to find the latest version of my fathers, Rabbi
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Hamantaschen: The Symbolism behind Purim Cookies
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Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
book of Esther reading. Every Jewish holiday focuses on a special dish and
the tria...
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Boarding School Massachusetts
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Every fall the Massachusetts Health Connector provides information
concerning the public higher education institutions and designed to prevent
offenders ...
A chat with some protesters…
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Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Jerusalem Walking Tours for Sukkot
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It is about time that I brought back my “Jerusalem: Meet Jerusalem” walking
tour series. And while I am nearing completion on a few new ones that I
hope to...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...