Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
The tish (table) of Rabbi Elimelech Biderman in Beit Shemesh, Israel, was the scene of dancing and singing last June, when one of the chasidim jumped onto the table. The chasid started wearing a shtreimel, but quickly removed it, revealing a black kippah. He then picked up a traditional brimmed black hat and proceeded to dance, balancing the brim on his nose. Next, he danced with a bottle on his head and, with only partial success, attempted to fill the almost empty bottle with more liquid from a second bottle. Who says chasidim don't know how to have fun? Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS: THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE
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Today
is Tisha B'Av, an annual fast day in Judaism which commemorates the
destruction of the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem and the subsequent
exile of the Jews from the Land of Israel to Babylon.
The day also commemorates other tragedies which occurred on the same day,
including the Roman massacre of over 100,000 Jews at Betar in 132 CE. It was instituted by the rabbis of 2nd-century Palestine.
Tisha B'Av is regarded as the saddest day in the Jewish calendar, a day
in which all pleasurable activity is forbidden, and is marked by synagogue
attendance the night before and during the day. But that doesn't mean there's
no singing, or more accurately, chanting.
The highlight of the day's service is the chanting of the megillah of Eicha
(Lamentations), written by the prophet Jeremiah. Eicha is read in
synagogues and in groups meeting indoors and outdoors.
In
some Jewish communities Psalm 137 is recited or chanted. It reads:
Psalms
Chapter 137
1. By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, we also wept, when we
remembered Zion.
2. We hung our lyres on the willows in its midst. 3. For there those who carried us away captive required of us a song; and
those who tormented us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs
of Zion.
4. How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a foreign land?
5. If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.
6. If I do not remember you, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth; if
I do not set Jerusalem above my highest joy.
7. Remember, O Lord, against the Edomites, the day of Jerusalem; who said,
Raze it, raze it, to its foundation.
8. O daughter of Babylon, you are to be destroyed! Happy shall he be, who
repays you for what you have done to us.
9. Happy shall he be, who takes your little ones and dashes them against the
rock.
But
the liturgy of Tisha B'Av has found an audience beyond traditional Jews
observing a sad day.
The
words of the Psalms (highlighted in blue above) were incorporated into Rivers of Babylon, a Rastafarian song written and
recorded by Brent Dowe and Trevor McNaughton of the Jamaican reggae group The
Melodians in 1970. The Melodians' original version of the song appeared in the
soundtrack album of the 1972 movie The Harder They Come, making it
internationally known.
The song was
popularized in Europe by the 1978 Boney M. cover version, which was awarded a
platinum disc and is one of the top ten all-time best-selling singles in the
UK.
Somehow
the song has been adopted by line dance devotees, primarily in Korea,
Taiwan, and Southeast Asia. The two videos below show the original song
with lyrics followed by one of the line dance interpretations from
Korea.
If you're fasting today, we wish you an easy and meaningful fast.
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There's something about a flash mob that appeals to us, especially when it pops up in the streets of Jerusalem. It reinforces our belief that Israel is a funny and happy country, despite what the world press writes about it.
It is a routine day in Jerusalem's First Station compound, a moment before the end of 2015. With
the first sounds of a popular Israeli song, Shoshana by Avraham Tal, dozens of dancers from one
of the city's community centers pop out of nowhere for a Jerusalem flash mob.
Enjoy!
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We have featured the Chicago-based wedding band before, performing a flash mob version of Hashem
Melech and and a mashup of Passover songs in downtown Chicago, with the Kol Ish a cappella singers in a
bluegrass version of Yigdal,
in an Israeli salsa number in Miami, and in a Chicago mashup
of Chanukah songs old and new.
In March they released a new music video that was filmed in some of the most iconic locations in Tel Aviv. Now they're back just in time for Yom Yerushalayim (Jerusalem Day) wiith
a talented team of dancers performing stunning choreography to a
variety of musical styles in familiar sites around Jerusalem.
Enjoy!
(A
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The songs included in the mashup are:
Yerushalayim Shel Zahav - Naomi Shemer Im Eshkachech Yerushalayim - Yaakov Shwekey Jerusalem, If I Forget You - Matisyahu Al Chomotayich Yerushalayim Sisu Et Yerushalayim - Akiva Nof Lach Yerushalayim - A. Rubinstein & Amos Etinger Yerushalayim Oro Shel Olam - Avraham Fried L'Shana Habah B'Yerushalayim - Reb Shlomo Carlebach
משאפ שירי ירושלים:
ירושלים של זהב - נעמי שמר אים אשכחך ירושלים - יעקב שוואקי מתיסיהו - Jerusalem, If I Forget You על חומותיך ירושלים שישו את ירושלים - עקיבא נוף לך ירושלים - א. רובינשטיין & עמוס אטינגר ירושלים אורו של עולם - אברהם פריד לשנה הבאה בירושלים - ר׳ שלמה קרליבך
No, this is not another rabbi, priest, and minister joke. This is a true report of what happened when a group of Hasidic Jews led by 80-year-old Brooklyn Rabbi Edgar Gluck went to the Vatican after being invited by Pope Francis. On Monday the Jewish Telegraphic Agency (JTA) reported that Pope Francis danced with the group and discussed with
them issues including the protection of Jewish cemeteries in Europe and
combating child sex abuse. As JTA reported,
A video on the Yeshiva World News website and also posted to YouTube
shows the pope swaying to the music as members of the delegation dance
and serenade him with the song “Long years shall satiate him.” Born in Germany, Edgar Gluck, 80, divides his time between Brooklyn
and Poland, where he holds the title of chief rabbi of Galicia. In the
United States, where he has long been politically active, he was a
co-founder of Hatzolah, one of the largest volunteer ambulance corps. Gluck and Pope Francis met and discussed the plight of Jewish
cemeteries last year when the pontiff visited Krakow for Catholic World
Youth Day and, according to Yeshiva World News, the pope invited Gluck
to continue the discussion at the Vatican.
The Hebrew words of the song are "Orech yamim asbieihu v'areihu biyeshuati" Enjoy!
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Jerusalem is the pulsating heart of Israel's story throughout history,
where old and new, East and West, religious and secular, all meet.
To
celebrate Israel's 69th Independence Day, Israel's Ministry of Foreign Affairs has produced Meet Me in Jerusalem, a swinging, singing, dancing tour through the beautiful capital of Israel. The music is by Jerusalem's own Betty Bears, a jazz band of 7 Bears and 1 Betty, led by singer Ella Daniel. The
green-clad dancer is Jerusalem-born Tamar Sonn, a graduate of the Music
and Dance Academy. The choreographer & mustached dancer is Nadav
Zelner, who graduated with honors from Telma Ya'alin - Arts school. The project was produced by "The Hive" boutique Film & Animation Studio.
Enjoy!
A
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Meir Kalmanson, the high-fiving prankster whose stunt in the streets of New York we posted a few weeks ago, doesn't limit his field to New York, and to America. Kalmanson, who goes by the name Meir Kay, took to the streets of Jerusalem to engage in lively dance steps while walking behind random strangers who had no idea what he was up to. In many cases he manages to be unobtrusive and is not even noticed. But when caught, he has the remarkable ability to rapidly change his manner, stop the dancing instantly, and appear to be taking a selfie photo or tying his shoelaces. Of course, the music track was added later. Enjoy! A
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Shaquille O'Neal, the retired professional basketball player who is currently an analyst on the television program Inside the NBA, showed off his skill at a different sport last week -- dancing the Hora.
Seven feet tall and weighing 350 pounds, he was one of the heaviest players
ever to play in the NBA. O'Neal played for six teams throughout his
19-year NBA career.
It happened at the Salter-Markowitz wedding in Miami, where O'Neal was a guest of Jamie Salter's, the father of the
groom and his partner at Authentic Brands Group.
As the staff of TMZ reported,
We're told the entire party was poppin' until around 2:30 AM (oy vey)
and at one point Shaq took to the dance floor -- but instead of his
tried-and-true pop-locking routine, he got cultural ... and Horah'd it
up.
BTW -- we're also told efforts were actually made to lift Shaq up in a
chair (part of the dance) but they were predictably unsuccessful.
Which means we'll never know the answer to the question -- how many Jews does it take to lift Shaquille O'Neal?
Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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VIDEO.)
Today
is Tisha B'Av, an annual fast day in Judaism which commemorates the
destruction of the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem and the subsequent
exile of the Jews from the Land of Israel to Babylon.
The day also commemorates other tragedies which occurred on the same day,
including the Roman massacre of over 100,000 Jews at Betar in 132 CE. It was instituted by the rabbis of 2nd-century Palestine.
Tisha B'Av is regarded as the saddest day in the Jewish calendar, a day
in which all pleasurable activity is forbidden, and is marked by synagogue
attendance the night before and during the day. But that doesn't mean there's
no singing, or more accurately, chanting.
The highlight of the day's service is the chanting of the megillah of Eicha
(Lamentations), written by the prophet Jeremiah. Eicha is read in
synagogues and in groups meeting indoors and outdoors.
In
some Jewish communities Psalm 137 is recited or chanted. It reads:
Psalms
Chapter 137
1. By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, we also wept, when we
remembered Zion.
2. We hung our lyres on the willows in its midst.
3. For there those who carried us away captive required of us a song; and
those who tormented us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs
of Zion.
4. How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a foreign land?
5. If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.
6. If I do not remember you, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth; if
I do not set Jerusalem above my highest joy.
7. Remember, O Lord, against the Edomites, the day of Jerusalem; who said,
Raze it, raze it, to its foundation.
8. O daughter of Babylon, you are to be destroyed! Happy shall he be, who
repays you for what you have done to us.
9. Happy shall he be, who takes your little ones and dashes them against the
rock.
But
the liturgy of Tisha B'Av has found an audience beyond traditional Jews
observing a sad day. The
words of the Psalms were incorporated into Rivers of Babylon, a Rastafarian song written and
recorded by Brent Dowe and Trevor McNaughton of the Jamaican reggae group The
Melodians in 1970. The Melodians' original version of the song appeared in the
soundtrack album of the 1972 movie The Harder They Come, making it
internationally known. The song was
popularized in Europe by the 1978 Boney M. cover version, which was awarded a
platinum disc and is one of the top ten all-time best-selling singles in the
UK. Somehow
the song has been adopted by line dance devotees, primarily in Korea,
Taiwan, and Southeast Asia. The two videos below show the original song
with lyrics followed by one of the line dance interpretations from
Korea. If you're fasting today, we wish you an easy and meaningful fast. (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON
SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE
EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE
PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)
The Fountainheads, the Israeli singing and dancing group from the Ein Prat Academy for Leadership, have released many music videos in recent years. But we haven't seen any new videos from them lately. We count them among our favorites in performing Jewish music, so we were very pleased to see that a couple of weeks ago they released a new music video featuring "The Minyans", actually members of their ensemble dressed in costumes to evoke the happy feelings that the yellow Minions creatures populating three recent movies produce. And the focus of the medley of song parodies is the joy of Shabbat. It's good to see the Fountainheads back in action again, with a new group of students joining the original group. We're looking forward to seeing some more productions from them. Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Ron Bronstein, a 24-year-old St. Louis native enlisted in
the IDF at the end of March 2012 and decided to document his transition
from civilian to soldier by dancing his way from start to
finish.
Bronstein moved to Israel from the United States in 2007 and now
serves in the IAF’s Technology and Logistics Directorate’s foreign
relations department.
As Ilan Ben Zion wrote in The Times of Israel,
“The day I was drafted, I stood excited at the
enlistment office and I wanted to document the moment, to preserve the
experience. At every stage, from being drafted to the end of basic
training, I asked my friends to document me dancing, and that’s how they
got to know me, as the guy who every few minutes asked them to film
him,” Bronstein told Yedioth Ahronoth.
In the video posted to YouTube — set to
LMFAO’s “Party Rock Anthem” — Bronstein dances the shuffle through guard
duty, kitchen detail, barracks, and parade grounds in his IDF greens.
He proudly struts his stuff in IAF dress khakis on train platforms, at
his swearing-in ceremony, and in front of military aircraft.
Since being uploaded, the
video has been viewed more than 350,000 times. Bronstein’s fans comment that,
whereas similar videos of dancing soldiers have made their way onto the
Internet, his “was done in good taste,” according to one viewer.
“Filming it took a month, the editing six
weeks, and the approval of the IDF took another six months,” Bronstein
said. “I want people across the world to see that IDF soldiers also have
a personal and funny side.”
The IDF spokesperson did not grant The Times of Israel permission to interview Bronstein.
Enjoy!
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The Greater Chicago Jewish Festival is the longest running ongoing
Jewish Festival in America and the largest Jewish event in the Chicago
area.
Created in 1980, it celebrates Jewish music, dance, art and of
course food. Attracting over 20,000 people, the Festival is the heart and soul of Jewish Chicago and was last held on June 8, 2014.
At the festival a group of dancers emerged in the middle of the crowd and spontaneously started a sequence of Israeli folk dances, many of which should be recognizable to our readers.
Israeli folk dances are a unique phenomenon of contemporary folklore. In
spite of the many changes in the values, dreams, and ways of life of
the , they still dance the old dances of the 1940s and 1950s—the
years during which more new dances were created than in any other
culture in the world.
Today there are some three thousand Israeli folk
dances, according to folk-dance instructors. However, some of these
dances are no longer danced. It is hard to specify which of the dances
aren’t practiced but the Hora is still practiced. Many more modern
dances incorporate folk inspired dance moves into their dances.
Today there are groups in Israel whose jobs are to conserve the heritage of Israeli folk dance.
About one hundred thousand people dance on a regular basis at least
once a week and an additional one hundred thousand dance several times a
year.
There are regular dance groups meeting in 30 countries and more than 30 states in the USA. There is an Israeli dance website that lets you search for a group in your city and find the words to many songs in Hebrew, Yiddish, and Ladino. Enjoy! (A
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We really like Elliot Dvorin and his Key Tov orchestra. We've shared a few of their very vibrant and melodic singing and dancing videos. Now we found their latest, featuring 34 talented dancers performing a poolside Israeli salsa called Bo Lirkod (Come to dance) that starts around a pool in Miami and ends up in the pool. We think it's a good energizer for a hot summer Sunday and hope you enjoy it. (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2025 and 2026 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2025 and 2026 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2025 and 2026 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Jewish Action Podcast episode 2
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Listen to the episode here Host Rabbi Gil Student is joined by Rabbi
Yisrael Motzen (Ner Tamid; Assistant to the OU EVPs; Director, Kol Echad)
to unpack tw...
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Dry Bones Golden Oldies in the fond memory of Yaakov Kirschen (Dry Bones).
Brought to you by Sali, the LSW. This cartoon is from 2009. It is not very
"p...
Thoughts on the Haggadah by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum
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[image: Story 375601404]
We just recently were able to find the latest version of my fathers, Rabbi
Eli Teitelbaum Z”L, thoughts on the Haggadah and conve...
Hamantaschen: The Symbolism behind Purim Cookies
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Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
book of Esther reading. Every Jewish holiday focuses on a special dish and
the tria...
Thank you for your support!
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Thank you very much for supporting our work at The Muqata. We appreciate
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Boarding School Massachusetts
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Every fall the Massachusetts Health Connector provides information
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A chat with some protesters…
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Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Jerusalem Walking Tours for Sukkot
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It is about time that I brought back my “Jerusalem: Meet Jerusalem” walking
tour series. And while I am nearing completion on a few new ones that I
hope to...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...