Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
If
you're a fan of Jewish Humor Central and happen to be in South Florida
this Wednesday January 15, you can see Blogger-in-Chief Al Kustanowitz
present a 90 minute program on TV comedy at Florida Atlantic
University's Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) in Boca Raton.
The program, Rowan and Martin's Laugh-in: A Trailblazer in Television Comedy, will include video clips from the show, which ran for six years from 1968 to 1974 on NBC.
The presentation is from 12:30 pm to 2 pm at FAU's Friedberg Auditorium in the
Lifelong Learning Building. Entrance to the University is at 777 Glades
Road in Boca Raton. Admission at the door is $35. Members can purchase
tickets in advance for $30.
So bring your friends and let's meet afterwards at the conclusion of the program.
If
you're a fan of Jewish Humor Central and happen to be in South Florida this winter, you can see Blogger-in-Chief Al Kustanowitz
present a series of four 90 minute programs at Florida Atlantic
University's Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) in Boca Raton, starting on January 18.
The programs, Saturday Night Live: The Funny Years, will be a walk down memory lane through
the first 25 years of Saturday Night Live.
While for 48 years SNL has
had a major impact on pop culture, critics agree that the first 25 years
were by far the funniest and most relevant. The combination of sketch
comedy, featured performers, guest hosts, and mock commercials has been a
winning formula for creating memorable characters that have become
household names.
Each lecture in this 4-week series will profile the cast members, tracing their routes to the show,
watching their auditions and screen tests, and revisiting their most
popular characters in action. So come prepared to laugh out loud at the
genius of those comedy standouts like Gilda Radner, John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Eddie Murphy, Martin
Short, and Phil Hartman, just to mention a few!
Lectures
1975-1980: The Not Ready
for Prime-Time Players - Chevy Chase, Gilda Radner, John Belushi, Dan
Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, Garrett Morris, Laraine Newman, and Bill Murray.
1980-1985:
The Second SNL Generation Arrives - Eddie Murphy as Buckwheat and
Mister Robinson, Don Novello as Father Guido Sarducci, Joe Piscopo and
Robin Duke as Doug and Wendy Whiner.
1985-1990: The Third SNL
Generation Takes Over - Billy Crystal as Fernando, Martin Short as
Nathan Thurm, Ed Grimley, Jeremy Glick, and Jon Lovitz as Hanukkah
Harry.
1990-2000: To the New Millennium - Phil Hartman, Kevin
Nealon, Mike Myers, Julia Sweeney, Chris Farley, Adam Sandler, Will
Ferrell, Rachel Dratz, Maya Rudolph, and Tina Fey.
The lectures are from 3 pm to 4:30 pm on Thursdays from January 18 through February 8 at FAU's Friedberg Auditorium in the
Lifelong Learning Building. Entrance to the University is at 777 Glades
Road in Boca Raton. Admission at the door is $30 for each lecture and $80 for the series. Members can purchase
series tickets in advance for $60.
So bring your friends and let's meet afterwards to share some laughs at the conclusion of the program.
Here's a sample of what you'll see:
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If you're a fan of Jewish Humor Central and happen to be in South Florida next Thursday February 23, you can see Blogger-in-Chief Al Kustanowitz present a 90 minute program on Jewish Humor at Florida Atlantic University's Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) in Boca Raton.
The program, Funniest Jewish Moments in Movies and Television, will include video clips from The Frisco Kid, All in the Family, Seinfeld, When Harry Met Sally, The Johnny Carson Show, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, and Blazing Saddles.
The show is from 3 pm to 4:30 pm at FAU's Friedberg Auditorium in the Lifelong Learning Building. Entrance to the University is at 777 Glades Road in Boca Raton. Admission at the door is $35. Members can purchase tickets in advance for $30.
So bring your friends and let's meet afterwards to share some jokes at the conclusion of the program.
Here's a sample of what you'll see:
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START THE VIDEO.
It's Monday again and time for another Joke to Start the Week.
Here's the setup: There are a few guys in the locker room of a golf club and they just finished showering when a cellphone on a bench starts to ring. Sheldon picks it up and says "Hello." And he hears a woman's voice, and then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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VIDEO. Does your organization want to book Al for one of his 20 Jewish humor programs? Click here to check out all the details and program choices at www.JewishSpeakersBureau.com.
It's a new Monday, and time for another joke to start the week.
Here's the setup: Sheldon and Marlene are both 65 years old and they're celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. They have a big party in their back yard, and then...
Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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It's a busy week here in Jerusalem. We spent the weekend celebrating our grandson's Bar Mitzvah and watching the celebrations of Yom Yerushalayim. The streets were clogged with vehicles and people marching with flags to commemorate the capture of the Old City of Jerusalem in 1967. And today is also a special day, as the city prepares for the dedication of a new United States Embassy in Jerusalem, with hundreds of special guests arriving for the big ceremony just 1.5 miles from our Israel headquarters. But all of this is not preventing us from posting a Joke to Start the Week. Here's the setup:
Sheldon is talking to his psychiatrist. "Last night I had a strange dream," he says. And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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It's the first Monday after Pesach. We hope you all had a happy, uplifting and meaningful Passover. And now it's time to go back to work and back to school. And of course it's time for another joke to start the week. Here's the setup: For months, Marlene had been nagging her husband Sheldon to go with her to the seance parlor of Madame Zelda. "Sheldon, Madame Zelda is a real gypsy and she brings the voices of the dead from the other world so we can all talk to them." And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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For most of our readers, this is probably the busiest week of the year, with all the work involved in preparing for a week of Pesach. But what better way to start off a busy week than with a joke? Here's one that should get you laughing, or at the very least, smiling.
Here's the setup: Sheldon arrives back home from work and to his horror finds his kitchen flooded. He starts to panic because he doesn't know any plumber and rushes over to Seymour, his next door neighbor, for help. And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Mondays just keep coming, and so do the jokes that make it easier for us to get through them on the way to the next Shabbat and weekend. So here's one to get you started. Here's the setup: Rivkah is an old fashioned type of mother. She has three teenage sons and she always wants them to reassure her that they are going out with the "right kind" of girl. And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS: THE
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It's another Monday and time for another joke to start the week.
Here's the setup: One day, 8-year-old Rebecca says to her mother: "Ema, I've been thinking a lot about creation, and I wanted to ask you a question." And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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It's the first Monday in March, and we're back from our month-long South Florida lecture tour. It's great to spend part of the winter in Florida, and it's always a fertile ground for picking up some old jokes. Today's joke to start the week isn't one that we overheard directly, but the demographics in one of our favorite locations did provide some inspiration for it. Here's the setup: A group of seniors are sitting in a Florida coffee shop talking about all their ailments. And then... Enjoy!
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We're starting our fourth and last week in sunny South
Florida, where we're taking a working vacation. It's been sunny and 80+
degrees, and we're not complaining.
In addition to soaking up the sun
and giving ten lectures on Jewish humor on Florida's East Coast, we're busy
recording some new old jokes for the upcoming Mondays.
Here's the setup for today's joke
to start the week: 80-year-old Seymour is worried about his memory because he can't remember his bank's on-line password. So he asks his friend Sheldon if he has the same problem. And then...
Enjoy!
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We're still in sunny South
Florida, where we're taking a working vacation. It's been sunny and 80+
degrees, and we're not complaining.
In addition to soaking up the sun
and giving ten lectures on Jewish humor on Florida's East Coast, we're busy
recording some new old jokes for the upcoming Mondays.
Here's the setup for today's joke
to start the week: Rabbi Goldberg decides to visit his shul's junior Hebrew
class just before Rosh Hashanah and give them a brief demonstration of
blowing the shofar. And then...
Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS: THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL
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Its 80 degrees and sunny in South Florida where we're on our annual Jewish humor lecture tour. We hope the weather where you are is as pleasant as can be. Since today's another Monday, here's another new old joke that we recorded in our mobile studio. Here's the setup: Sheldon sees his wife Marlene looking out of their bedroom window. "What are you staring at, Marlene?" he asks. And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Punxsutawney
Phil, the world's most famous groundhog, has seen his shadow and
predicted six more weeks of winter.
Well, maybe up north, but here in
sunny South Florida, where we're taking a working vacation, it's 78
degrees, with temperatures in the high 70s forecast for the next 10 days.
In
addition to soaking up the sun and giving ten lectures on Jewish
humor on Florida's East Coast, we're busy recording some
new old jokes for the upcoming Mondays.
Here's the setup for today's joke to start the week: Sheldon goes to see Rabbi Goldberg. "Rabbi," he says, "my life is in ruins. My wife has left me and she's taken our children and our dog with her." And then... Enjoy! A
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Today is Monday, but not just an ordinary Monday. Tonight we sit down to the seder in Israel. In the diaspora, it's the first of two sedarim. But planning for the seder isn't an excuse to skip the Joke to Start the Week. So today's joke has a Pesach theme. It's actually two related jokes. We hope you don't groan too much and maybe even laugh or smile a little.
We won't be blogging tomorrow and Wednesday, the first two days of Pesach. We'll be back on Throwback Thursday with more Jewish humor.
Enjoy, and have a kosher and happy Passover!
A
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Since we're in a Passover frame of mind, the Monday jokes to start the week today and next Monday have a Pesach ta'am.
Of course, like most of our jokes, they're anything but new, but every year we hear them and tell them with a slightly different tone. If they're new to you, as they well may be, just enjoy them. If you've heard them before, try not to groan too loudly and think of ways you can improve on them for retelling next time around. Here's the setup for today's joke: Little Benjy comes home from Hebrew school and his father asks "What did you learn today?" And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS: THE
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It's Monday again and time for another Joke to Start the Week.
Here's the setup: After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife went in for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade, listing every problem they had in the 35 years that they were married. And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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It's another Monday and we're still in Florida doing our annual February Jewish humor lecture tour.
There are lots of old Jews telling jokes in this sunny state and we're hoping to pick up some more oldies but goodies to share with you in the coming weeks and months. Here's the setup for today's joke: Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, and then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Punxsutawney Phil, the world's most famous groundhog, has seen his shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter. Well, maybe up north, but here in sunny South Florida, where we're taking a working vacation, it's 80 degrees, with temperatures in the high 80s forecast for later this week. In addition to soaking up the sun and giving eight lectures on Jewish humor up and down the east coast of Florida, we're busy recording some new old jokes for the upcoming Mondays. Here's the setup for today's joke to start the week: John and Peggy get engaged and they spend the summer months looking for a house for when they get married. After a lot of searching, they finally settle on a house in the Boston suburbs. And then... Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2025 and 2026 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2025 and 2026 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2025 and 2026 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Jewish Action Podcast episode 2
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Listen to the episode here Host Rabbi Gil Student is joined by Rabbi
Yisrael Motzen (Ner Tamid; Assistant to the OU EVPs; Director, Kol Echad)
to unpack tw...
Attacks
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Dry Bones Golden Oldies in the fond memory of Yaakov Kirschen (Dry Bones).
Brought to you by Sali, the LSW. This cartoon is from 2009. It is not very
"p...
Thoughts on the Haggadah by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum
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[image: Story 375601404]
We just recently were able to find the latest version of my fathers, Rabbi
Eli Teitelbaum Z”L, thoughts on the Haggadah and conve...
Hamantaschen: The Symbolism behind Purim Cookies
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Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
book of Esther reading. Every Jewish holiday focuses on a special dish and
the tria...
Thank you for your support!
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Thank you very much for supporting our work at The Muqata. We appreciate
your contribution and hope to be able to keep bringing you the most up to
date ...
Boarding School Massachusetts
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Every fall the Massachusetts Health Connector provides information
concerning the public higher education institutions and designed to prevent
offenders ...
A chat with some protesters…
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Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Jerusalem Walking Tours for Sukkot
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It is about time that I brought back my “Jerusalem: Meet Jerusalem” walking
tour series. And while I am nearing completion on a few new ones that I
hope to...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...
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