Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
We've been posting versions of Hebrew liturgical and popular songs by Yonina (Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town of Pardes Chana, Israel.)
They have been uploading home videos to Facebook and YouTube and reaching millions.
Just in time for Chanukah, Yoni and Nina posted a Hebrew translation of the song Be a Light, written in English by Rabbi Neal Katz, rabbi of Congregation Beth El in Tyler, Texas.
Rabbi Katz has released three CDs of his original Jewish music. His
songs have become popular in congregations, camps, and Religious Schools
around the country. In 2009, Neal also released a folk-music CD, and in
2010, he was a finalist in the Kerrville Musical Festival's New Folk
Contest. The website for his music can be found at KatzMusic.com.
In
addition to his musical travels in the States, when Neal travels
abroad, he likes to share his music with member congregations in the
World Union for Progressive Judaism. Neal has been honored to share his
music and help lead Shabbat worship services at Progressive Jewish
congregations in Warsaw, Paris, Prague, Budapest, London, St.
Petersburg, and Copenhagen.
We've been posting versions of Hebrew liturgical and popular songs by Yonina (Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town of Pardes Chana, Israel.)
They have been uploading home videos to Facebook and YouTube and reaching millions.
Melaketet Kochavim (Gathering Stars) is a new original song, telling their story, from the morning of October 7th when everything changed, through the past months, with Yoni away in the reserves and Nina at home, the distance and challenges and the hope for better days. The Hebrew lyrics and English translation appear below the video.
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הייתי בדרך לבית כנסת כשעלית על מדים
ובפינת הרחוב נפרדת ממני ומהילדים
הסברתי שאבא עכשיו צריך לשמור,
ולא רציתי שידעו ממה
ובדרך אנשים שאלו מה אתם עושים בחוץ, פרצה מלחמה
ועכשיו- אני אוספת את כל הכוחות
של חסד ושל אמונה
שעוד יבואו ימים של טוב
שעוד תשוב אלינו הרינה
ומחבקת חזק ת׳ילדים
רק להגן מהסופות שבחוץ
ובתוך הטירוף
מול שמיים שחורים
מלקטת כוכבים
בלילות הראשונים לא ישנתי,
דרוך על המשמר
חתמתי על ציוד בעולם מקביל,
נפרדתי מכל מה שמוכר
יש כאן אחוות לוחמים וימים מתישים מבלי לדעת מה יהיה מחר
שבועות כבר הפכו חודשים,
ובכל זאת נשארים עד שהאופק יואר
ועכשיו אני שולח לך ים של כוחות
של חסד ושל אמונה
שעוד יבואו ימים של טוב,
שעוד תשוב אלינו הרינה
אז תחבקי חזק ת׳ילדים
רק להגן מהסופות שבחוץ
ובתוך הטירוף מול שמיים שחורים
מלקט לך כוכבים
ולמרות הגעגוע אלייך
ולמרות שקשה כאן לבד
לפעמים כדי לנצח ביחד
צריך לעמוד בנפרד
כל אחד בחזית שלו
עד הניצחון
אז לעכשיו, אני אוספת את כל הכוחות…
I was on my way to synagogue (Shul)
when you put on your uniform
and at the corner of the street
you said goodbye to me and to the children
I explained that daddy now needs to go protect
and I didn’t want them to know from what
and on the way, people asked us
what are you doing outside
a war has broken out
So now I am gathering all of my strength
of kindness, and of faith
that good days are yet to come
that the songs of joy will return to us
and I hug the children tightly
to protect from the storms outside
and in all the craziness under black skies
I gather stars
The first few nights I didn’t sleep
Cautious, on the guard
I signed on to equipment in a parallel world
I left everything that was familiar
Here the is brotherhood of warriors
and exhausting days
without knowing what tomorrow will bring
Weeks have turned to months
And yet we still stay
Until the horizon is lit up
And although I miss you
And although it’s hard here alone
Sometimes in order to prevail together
It’s necessary to stand separately
We've been posting versions of Hebrew liturgical and popular songs by Yonina (Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town of Pardes Chana, Israel.)
They have been uploading home videos to Facebook and YouTube and reaching millions.
They have both been singing and writing since they can remember, and have been making music together ever since they met. The name Yonina is a combination of both their first names, Yoni and Nina.
Here they are singingthe first verses of Anim Zemirot, a liturgical poem that is sung toward the end of the Musaf service in most congregations on Shabbat. The melody is a Chabad nigun, and Yonina recorded this version in honor of Yat Kislev, the 19th day of Kislev, a Chabad holiday celebrated as the Rosh Hashanah of Chassidism. It was on this date, in the year 1798, that the founder of Chabad Chassidism, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (1745–1812), was freed from his imprisonment in czarist Russia.
I will chant hymns and weave songs,
for my soul pants after thee.
My soul longs to be in the shadow of thy hand,
to gain the knowledge of every secret of thy mysteries.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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We've
been posting versions of Hebrew liturgical and popular songs by Yonina
(Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town
of Pardes Chana,
Israel.)
They have been uploading home videos to
Facebook and Youtube and reaching millions. They have both been singing and
writing since they can remember, and have been making music together ever
since they met. The name Yonina is a combination of both their first names, Yoni and Nina. Here they are singing Hitna'ari and Hitor'ri, two verses from Lecha Dodi, the liturgical poem that is sung on Friday night as part of the Kabbalat Shabbat service.
Here are the lyrics, in Hebrew, English, and transliteration. Enjoy!
Hitna’ari me’afar kumi,
Livshi bigdei tifartech ami.
Al yad ben Yishai beit haLachmi;
Karva el nafshi g’ala.
Hit’oreri, hit’oreri,
Ki va orech, kumi uri.
Uri, uri, shir daberi;
K’vod Adonai alai’yich nigla.
Shake off your dust, arise! Put on your glorious garments, my
people, and pray: “Be near to my soul, and redeem it through
the son of Jesse, the Bethlehemite.”
Bestir yourself, bestir yourself, for your light has come; arise
and shine! Awake, awake, utter a song; the Lord’s glory is revealed
upon you.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE
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YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.
We've
been posting versions of Hebrew liturgical and popular songs by Yonina
(Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town
of Pardes Chana,
Israel.) They have been uploading home videos to
Facebook and Youtube and reaching millions. They have both been singing and
writing since they can remember, and have been making music together ever
since they met. The name Yonina is a combination of both their first names, Yoni and Nina. Here they are singing the song Al Kol Eleh. Naomi Shemer wrote Al Kol Eleh in 1980. Like many of her songs, at
first glance this seems like a naïve prayer, hoping for the best. Taking
a deeper look, one discovers how the personal and the national are
woven together, expressing the sentiment that has been part of the
Jewish experience for centuries: a deep desire to protect loved ones,
understanding that terrible things may come, praying for God’s grace,
alongside the ability to accept the good with the bad.
Here are the lyrics, in Hebrew and English. Enjoy!
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Today is Yom Yerushalayim
- Jerusalem Day — the most recent addition to the Hebrew calendar.
It is celebrated on the 28th day of Iyar (six weeks after the Passover
seder, one week before the eve of Shavuot). Although Jerusalem has been considered the capital city of the Jewish people since the time of King David —
who conquered it and built it as the seat of his monarchy in
approximately 1000 B.C.E.–there has never been a special day in honor of
the city until the Israeli army took over the ancient, eastern part of
the city on the third day of the Six-Day War in June 1967. Shortly after the Six-Day War, “a municipal unification” of the two
sections of the city took place, ending 19 years of separation between
predominantly Arab and Jewish suburbs of Jerusalem, following the War of Independence in 1948. Today we celebrate Yom Yerushalayim
with Jerusalem of Gold sung by the duo of Yoni and Nina Tokayer, who perform as Yonina, a combination of both their first names.
The married musical duo live in the small town of Pardes Chana,
Israel. They have been uploading home videos to
Facebook and Youtube and reaching millions. They have both been singing and
writing since they can remember, and have been making music together ever
since they met. The
song was written in 1967 by Naomi Shemer and first performed by Shuly
Natan, who was then a soldier in the Israel Defense Forces teaching
Hebrew to new immigrants from Morocco in Israel's Negev desert.
Most
people think the song was written to commemorate Israel's victory in
the Six Day War, but it actually was written shortly before war broke
out. It was commissioned by Teddy Kollek, mayor of Jerusalem at the
time, as a background song to be sung while the votes were counted for a
radio song competition, similar to today's American Idol. It has grown in popularity over the years and is now second only to Hatikvah as Israel's national anthem.
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VIDEO.
We've been posting versions of Hebrew liturgical and popular songs by Yonina (Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town of Pardes Chana,
Israel.)
They have been uploading home videos to
Facebook and Youtube and reaching millions. They have both been singing and
writing since they can remember, and have been making music together ever
since they met.
The name Yonina is a combination of both their first names, Yoni and Nina.
Here they are singing the song A Million Dreams from the film The Greatest Showman.
Enjoy!
A
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Yonina is a husband and wife musical duo whose upbeat arrangements of Jewish music old and new we've featured lately. Yoni and Nina Tokayer have created a musical mashup of Israeli hits going back to the declaration of the state in 1948. In celebration of 70 years of statehood and 70 years of music, the mashup includes Hava Nagila, Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Mayim, Rak b'Yisrael, Lach Yerushalayim, Abanibi, Nolad'ti LaShalom, Od Yavo Shalom Aleinu and many others. Enjoy! A
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If
you're like us, you probably have had your fill of hamantashen and Purim is over. But if you live in Jerusalem, you're
celebrating Purim today, the 15th of Adar. The battles fought between the Jews and their enemies throughout the Persian empire took place on 13 Adar.
Around the world, the Jews rested and celebrated on the following
day—14 Adar. In the capital city of Shushan, however, where there were a
greater number of Jew-haters, the fighting continued for two days, 13
and 14 Adar. The victory celebrations in Shushan were thus held on the
15th. When the holiday of Purim
was set for the 14th of Adar, the sages instituted that Shushan
residents perpetually observe Purim on the 15th of Adar—the day when the
Shushanite Jews celebrated. The 15th of Adar is hence known as Shushan Purim.
Along with Shushan (which is located in modern-day southwestern Iran), all cities that were walled at the time when the Israelites, under the leadership of Joshua, entered Canaan, observe Purim on the 15th. Today, the only city that we are certain had walls in Joshua’s times is Jerusalem.And indeed, in the holy city, Purim is festively celebrated one day after all other cities. There are a number of other ancient cities in Israel,
such as Jaffa and Tiberias, regarding which there is a reasonable doubt
whether they were walled in Joshua’s times. These cities observe two
days of Purim.
This calendar confusion gives us one more opportunity to share a Purim video with you to celebrate Shushan Purim. We've been reviewing dozens of Purim videos and we picked one of the best to post today. It's by the singing couple Yonina, whose melodies we have shared before.
Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town of Pardes Chana,
Israel, have been uploading home videos to
Facebook and Youtube and reaching millions. They have both been singing and
writing since they can remember, and have been making music together ever
since they met.
The name Yonina is a combination of both their first names, Yoni and Nina.
In this video, they tell the Purim story through a medley of pop song parodies.
Enjoy, Happy Shushan Purim, and Shabbat shalom!
A
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Earlier this year we posted a version of Lecha Dodi by Yoni and Nina Tokayer, a married musical duo who live in the small town of Pardes Chana,
Israel.
For the past half a year, they have been uploading home videos to
Facebook and Youtube and reaching millions. They have both been singing and
writing since they can remember, and have been making music together ever
since they met.
The name Yonina is a combination of both their first names, Yoni and Nina.
The
response to the Lecha Dodi video was so positive that we searched for
and found another Shabbat song that they recorded. In this video, they
sing the traditional erev Shabbat song, Shalom Aleichem from the Tel Aviv beach.
Enjoy!
A
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Yoni and Nina Tokayer are a married musical duo with a little baby girl. They're both involved
in music and education, and live in the small town of Pardes Chana,
Israel.
For the past half a year, they have been uploading home videos to
Facebook and Youtube and reaching millions. They have both been singing and
writing since they can remember, and have been making music together ever
since they met. The name Yonina is a combination of both their first names, Yoni and Nina. In this video, they sing the beginning of Lecha Dodi, one of the traditional parts of the Kabbalat Shabbat service. The melody, however, is not traditional. It's set to the music of John Legend's hit All of Me, a song that has an incredible more than a billion hits on YouTube, so you must have heard it somewhere before. Enjoy! A
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2026 and 2027 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2026 and 2027 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 26 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@primetimepresenters.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2026 and 2027 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@primetimepresenters.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
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