Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
As we get ready for the last days of this Passover holiday, let's travel back in time 62 years to Israel in 1964 where Israeli singers Geula Gill and Yehoram Gaon recorded some Pesach songs which are now rare recordings.
They sing Betzet Yisrael Mimitzrayim, Yatzanu Mimitzrayim, Be'egozim, and Adir Hu.
We hope you enjoyed our Pesach postings. Jewish Humor Central will not be posting on Wednesday and Thursday. We'll be observing the last two days of this Chag and we'll be back with our usual mix on Friday.
Yehoram Gaon has been an Israeli musical legend for more than half a century. In 1984 Naomi Shemer wrote a song, Lo Tenatzchu Oti, for a new album that he released that year. It has become very popular in Israel.
Now Yehoram Gaon has produced a new video of this song, joining with the choirs of the Israel Defense Forces to make a forceful statement that Israel will not be defeated.
One of the enjoyable aspects of this song is that the attitude is not
one of arrogance, but one of unity. If there is one secret aspect to
Israel’s success thus far in the War in Gaza, it is the unity that is so
pervasive at this moment in history. Because of the enormity of the
horrible tragedy of the massacre on October 7th, Israelis instinctively
banded together to fight back.
The song is in Hebrew with English subtitles. The English words appear below the video.
Am Yisrael Chai!
A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH
DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE
TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH
YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.
You won't defeat me.
From my window I can see
a street like an over flowing river
and people on their way to work.
And young children going to school
with their satchels on their backs.
And in their hands they hold some blossoming myrtle branches.
Suddenly it becomes clear,
And I say to myself:
No, No, No, You won't beat me.
I will not be defeated so fast.
No, No, No, You won't beat me.
I will not be defeated so fast.
From my window I can see
A plane taking off, a plane flying,
Hiding in the distant clouds.
I hear a machine in the right tune that rolls around outside and in the markets.
Suddenly it becomes clear,
And I say to myself:
No, No, No, You won't beat me.
I will not be defeated so fast.
No, No, No, You won't beat me.
I will not be defeated so fast.
In my window are spring and autumn.
A rainy day and a scorching day.
Light and darkness, soloist and choir.
It’s all mixed up and confused.
Songs of Lamentations, Songs of Hallel.
And sometimes it’s one giant mess.
Suddenly it becomes clear,
And I say to myself:
No, No, No, You won't beat me.
I will not be defeated so fast.
No, No, No, You won't beat me.
I will not be defeated so fast.
This isn't the first time that we've posted a prayer for the brave soldiers of the Israel Defense Forces, but new versions keep appearing on the internet, and this one was posted just two days ago.
It features Shai Abramson, Chief Cantor of the IDF, singing the prayer originally
written by IDF Chief Rabbi Shlomo Goren to the tune of Eretz Tzvi, a song recorded by famous Israeli singer Yehoram Gaon for the movie Mivtsa
Yonatan. The 1977 film was based on Operation Entebbe, in which
Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu’s brother, Yoni, was killed.
The lyrics, in Hebrew and English, appear below the video.
May the brave soldiers of the IDF be successful in their mission and return home safely.
A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS: THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE
EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU MUST CLICK
ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE,
FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.
He Who blessed our forefathers Abraham, Isaac and Jacob — may He bless
the fighters of the Israel Defense Forces, who stand guard over our land
and the cities of our God, from the border of the Lebanon to the desert
of Egypt, and from the Great Sea unto the approach of the Aravah, on
the land, in the air, and on the sea.
May the Almighty cause the enemies who rise up against us to be struck
down before them. May the Holy One, Blessed is He, preserve and rescue
our fighters from every trouble and distress and from every plague and
illness, and may He send blessing and success in their every endeavor.
May He lead our enemies under our soldiers’ sway and may He grant them
salvation and crown them with victory. And may there be fulfilled for
them the verse: For it is the Lord your God, Who goes with you to battle
your enemies for you to save you.
We've always enjoyed Arlo Guthrie's song City of New Orleans which brought attention to the rail lines that were vanishing across America. The song was written by Chicago singer-songwriter Steve Goodman in 1970. Goodman started his singing career by leading the junior choir at Temple Beth Israel in Albany Park, a Chicago neighborhood. Goodman wrote the lyrics on a sketch pad after his wife fell asleep on the Illinois Central train,
where they were going to visit his wife's grandmother. Goodman wrote
about what he saw looking out the windows of the train and playing cards
in the club car. Everything in the song actually happened on the ride.
After
he returned home, Goodman heard that the train was scheduled to be
decommissioned due to lack of passengers. He was encouraged to use this
song to save the train, so he retouched the lyrics and released it on
his first album in 1971.
The jubilant chorus line, "Good morning America, how are ya?" became a
cultural touchstone in the United States. When ABC launched a new
morning show in 1975, they named it: Good Morning America.
The song was also covered by Johnny Cash, Judy Collins, and Willie Nelson, whose recorded version earned Goodman a posthumous Grammy Award for Best Country Song in 1985. French and Dutch versions were recorded in 1973 and became classics in France and Holland. A Hebrew version of the song, Shalom Lach Eretz Nehederet, was sung by famous Israeli singer Yehoram Gaon in 1977 and became an immediate hit. The lyrics are a love song to the beauty of the land of Israel. The latest cover of the song in Hebrew was posted just yesterday on YouTube by Israeli singers Shaul and Julia Ben-Har. You can see it below, followed by the Steve Goodman original. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY
FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON
SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT
THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR
CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.
Earlier this month Israeli president Reuven Rivlin joined famed Israeli singer Yehoram Gaon in a rendition of Gaon's popular Hebrew version of Arlo Guthrie's song City of New Orleans.
The original song was
composed by Steve Goodman while traveling from Chicago to New Orleans on the Illinois Central Railroad’s City of New Orleans. Goodman recorded City of New Orleans in 1970 and released it the next year on his self-titled album. John Denver released a cover of City of New Orleans in 1971 but it was Arlo Guthrie’s version – released in 1972 on his album Hobo’s Lullaby – that made the song famous. The Hebrew version, Shalom Lach Eretz Nehederet, was a big hit in Israel, with the words rewritten to describe the beauty of the land of Israel from north to south and from east to west. As we approach Yom Yerushalayim (Jerusalem Day) next Monday, we're posting the Rivlin-Gaon duet, followed by a solo performance by Yehoram Gaon, and the original song performed by Arlo Guthrie. Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY
FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON
SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS. YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT
THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR
CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE
PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE
VIDEO.)
President Reuven Rivlin and Yehoram Gaon singing Shalom Lach Eretz Nehederet Yehoram Gaon singing Shalom Lach Eretz Nehederet Arlo Guthrie singing City of New Orleans
Subscribe now. Start each day with a smile. No cost, no obligation, no spam.
Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2026 and 2027 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2026 and 2027 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 26 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@primetimepresenters.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2026 and 2027 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@primetimepresenters.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Daily Reyd
-
Article summaries generated by AI: • Trump calls on US Jews to dedicate
next Shabbat to America’s 250th anniversary celebration – Trump urged
Jewish Americ...
Iran, then and now
-
Wow! Here is a Dry Bones cartoon about Iran from back in 2006. Posted by
Sali, the LSW.
It is amazing how things don't change much in the Middle East. W...
The Billion-Dollar Bill for Campus Bigotry
-
If you take a look at the current state of the American campus, it’s clear
the ivy is finally being stripped off the walls. Not by shame, moral
clarity o...
Was Benoît Mandelbrot Jewish?
-
Yes, Benoît Mandelbrot was a Jew. The Times obituary says he, "was born on
Nov. 20, 1924, to a Lithuanian Jewish family in Warsaw. In 1936 his family
fled ...
Thoughts on the Haggadah by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum
-
[image: Story 375601404]
We just recently were able to find the latest version of my fathers, Rabbi
Eli Teitelbaum Z”L, thoughts on the Haggadah and conve...
Hamantaschen: The Symbolism behind Purim Cookies
-
Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
book of Esther reading. Every Jewish holiday focuses on a special dish and
the tria...
Thank you for your support!
-
Thank you very much for supporting our work at The Muqata. We appreciate
your contribution and hope to be able to keep bringing you the most up to
date ...
Boarding School Massachusetts
-
Every fall the Massachusetts Health Connector provides information
concerning the public higher education institutions and designed to prevent
offenders ...
A chat with some protesters…
-
Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Jerusalem Walking Tours for Sukkot
-
It is about time that I brought back my “Jerusalem: Meet Jerusalem” walking
tour series. And while I am nearing completion on a few new ones that I
hope to...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
-
Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...