A Joke to Start the Week - "A Jew in a Bar"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one. Here's the setup: A guy walks into a bar, looks around, sees about 10 people, and then he notices there's a guy with a yarmulke. And then...

Enjoy! 

A Joke to Start the Week - "Ordering Non-Kosher on El Al and Kosher on Lufthansa"

It's another Monday, and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today we're sharing a joke by Rabbi Bob Alper.

Rabbi Bob Alper is the world's only practicing clergyman doing stand-up comedy... intentionally. His fresh, contemporary, and totally "unorthodox" style has been delighting audiences internationally, from the top NY comedy clubs to The World Bank and The National Comedy Center. And his unique brand of intelligent, 100% clean humor appeals to people of all faiths. 

Bob's a special favorite on the clean comedy channels of Sirius/XM Satellite radio, and he's appeared on Showtime, CNN, and Good Morning America.  

Here's the setup: A fantasy of mine is ordering non-kosher on El Al Israel Airlines. Can you imagine "Will the passenger who ordered treif..."  And then...

Enjoy! 

A Joke to Start the Week - "Processing in Heaven"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one. Here's the setup: It was the end of a very busy day, and Hashem was in heaven greeting all the people who had passed away that day. And then...

Enjoy! 

A Joke to Start the Week - "The Broken Tablets"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today we're sharing a joke by Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak (YY) Jacobson, one of America's premier Jewish scholars in Torah and Jewish mysticism.

Rabbi Jacobson, an American Chabad rabbi from Monsey, New York, is one of the most sought after speakers in the Jewish world today, lecturing to Jewish and non-Jewish audiences on six continents and in forty states, and serving as teacher and mentor to thousands across the globe. 

He is considered to be one of the most successful, passionate and mesmerizing communicators of Judaism today, culling his ideas from the entire spectrum of Jewish thought and making them relevant to contemporary audiences. 

He served as editor-in-chief of the Algemeiner Journal, and as a choizer (transcriber) for Lubavitcher Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson.

He also loves to tell jokes, and here's the setup: A grandpa sponsors his grandson David's Hebrew school experience. He wants to see how his grandson is doing. So one Sunday morning he visits David's Hebrew school located near a temple. And then...

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week - "The First Jewish President"

Brad Zimmerman is a funny guy. He has performed all over the country doing his own stand-up comedy and has been the opening act for more famous performers including Joan Rivers, George Carlin, Billy Crystal, and Gary Shandling.

Brad combines years of acting training and standup, which is evident in Brad’s true pride and joy; his one man show, My Son the Waiter, a Jewish Tragedy, and he has been working on it since 2005. 

In this week's Joke to Start the Week, we're sharing Brad's version of a Jewish mother's reaction to her son being sworn in as President of the United States.

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week - "The Migraine Headache"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today we're sharing a joke by Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak (YY) Jacobson, one of America's premier Jewish scholars in Torah and Jewish mysticism.

Rabbi Jacobson, an American Chabad rabbi from Monsey, New York, is one of the most sought after speakers in the Jewish world today, lecturing to Jewish and non-Jewish audiences on six continents and in forty states, and serving as teacher and mentor to thousands across the globe. 

He is considered to be one of the most successful, passionate and mesmerizing communicators of Judaism today, culling his ideas from the entire spectrum of Jewish thought and making them relevant to contemporary audiences. 

He served as editor-in-chief of the Algemeiner Journal, and as a choizer (transcriber) for Lubavitcher Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson.

He also loves to tell jokes, and here's the setup: This woman comes to see the rabbi. She needs to speak to him. They end up talking for three hours. And then...

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week - "The Lamaze Class"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one. Here's the setup: The Lamaze instructor had a class of 15 pregnant women and their male partners. The instructor explained that it was very good to do proper breathing exercises.  And then...

Enjoy! 

A Joke to Start the Week - "The Orthopedic Surgeon"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one. Here's the setup: Dr. Barry Bloom was the most famous orthopedic surgeon in town. His waiting room was always full of people. One day a woman was sitting there. She was bent over. She walked slowly and could barely get by on her cane. And then...

Enjoy! 

A Joke to Start the Week - "Two Brothers--A Pessimist and an Optimist"

It's another Monday, and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today's joke teller is Rabbi Avrohom Rapoport, also known as Rabbi Raps.

Dubbed "The Tiktok Rabbi," Rabbi Rapoport is a congregational Rabbi, musician, filmmaker and motivational speaker. His upbeat, humorous, and engaging style brings meaning and inspiration to the many who follow him.

With over 20 million views and more than 220,000 followers on Instagram and Tiktok @RabbiRaps shares daily inspirational messages and lessons.

Here's the setup for today's joke: There were once two brothers. One was the ultimate pessimist, and one was the ultimate optimist. The parents didn't know what to do about these kids. They were so extreme, in one household. So they hired a psychologist to analyze the kids. And then...

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week - "Flying into Dallas"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's the setup: There were three men sitting in a row on a flight to Dallas. As the plane landed, one of the men said "If you look out this window, you can see my ranch." And then...

Enjoy! 

A Joke to Start the Week: "Bee at the Bar Mitzvah"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's the setup: Two bumble bees happened to meet in the field and one said to the other "How's it going?" And he said "Not so good. It's been wet and I haven't been able to get any good pollen or anything." And then...

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week - "Jewish Retirement Celebration"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. This week we're posting another joke from Dr. Jay Orlikoff, a retired dentist from Centereach, New York, a community on Long Island in Suffolk County.

After a distinguished and meritorious dental career, he is shifting his focus to telling and posting jokes on YouTube. We were fortunate to find some of his jokes and we're sharing one of the family-friendly ones with you today. 

Here's the setup: An old Jewish merchant is retiring and it's his last day at work. He decides he's going to out in glory so he calls in his assistant. And then...

Enjoy! 

A Joke to Start the Week - "The Burglary Problem"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one. Here's the setup: Father Moynihan went to see Rabbi Kaplan as he did once a week. They traded visits to just stay in touch. And then...

Enjoy! 

A Joke to Start the Week - "Irving, the Talking Dog"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's the setup: Todd took his dog to the veterinarian, Dr. Saul. He said "Dr. Saul, my dog has a problem." And then...

Enjoy! 

A Joke to Start the Week - "How to Get a Room at a Crowded Hotel"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. This week we're posting another joke from Dr. Jay Orlikoff, a retired dentist from Centereach, New York, a community on Long Island in Suffolk County.

After a distinguished and meritorious dental career, he is shifting his focus to telling and posting jokes on YouTube. We were fortunate to find some of his jokes and we're sharing one of the family-friendly ones with you today. 

Here's the setup: Sol Schwartz is a traveling salesman in the garment industry. One day after a long, long day and as he's about to get to the front desk to get a room, another woman arrives. And then...

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week - "My Husband's Gifts"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one to share with you. Here's the setup: Sol and Sophie are both 62 years old. They're celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a very romantic restaurant. It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today Mickey Greenblatt is back with another good one.

Marshal (Mickey) Greenblatt received degrees from Columbia (BA and BS in Flight Sciences), a DC from Von Karman Institute (1963) and his PhD from Princeton in Aerospace Sciences. He worked as a researcher for NASA and the Naval Research Laboratory. 

With four other scientists, he founded Fusion Systems Corporation, which invented microwave-powered UV lamps for drying coatings. He founded and served on the boards of technology companies and is active in volunteer work. He served on the executive committee of the Jewish Council for the Aging of Greater Washington for many years.

Mickey also loves Jewish jokes and sent us this one. Here's the setup: Two women were sitting next to each other on a long flight cross-country. They started a conversation, and then...

Enjoy! 

A Joke to Start the Week - "The Jewish Horse"

It's another Monday, and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today's joke teller is Rabbi Avrohom Rapoport, also known as Rabbi Raps.

Dubbed "The Tiktok Rabbi," Rabbi Rapoport is a congregational Rabbi, musician, filmmaker and motivational speaker. His upbeat, humorous, and engaging style brings meaning and inspiration to the many who follow him.

With over 20 Million views and more than 220,000 followers on Instagram and Tiktok @RabbiRaps shares daily inspirational messages and lessons.

Here's the setup for today's joke: There's a Jewish horse that understands Hebrew. When you want it to go, you say Baruch Hashem. When you want it to stop, you say Amen. And then...

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week - "Jewish Stagecoach"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. This week we're posting another joke from Dr. Jay Orlikoff, a retired dentist from Centereach, New York, a community on Long Island in Suffolk County.

After a distinguished and meritorious dental career, he is shifting his focus to telling and posting jokes on YouTube. We were fortunate to find some of his jokes and we're sharing one of the family-friendly ones with you today. 

It's an oldie but goodie that you've probably heard before, but like many of these, we find it interesting to see the same joke told in a slightly different way by a different joke teller.

Here's the setup: It's the middle of the 1800s and this old Jewish merchant has to go to Omaha. And then...

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week -"Religious Education"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. Today we're sharing a joke by Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak (YY) Jacobson, one of America's premier Jewish scholars in Torah and Jewish mysticism.

Rabbi Jacobson, an American Chabad rabbi from Monsey, New York, is one of the most sought after speakers in the Jewish world today, lecturing to Jewish and non-Jewish audiences on six continents and in forty states, and serving as teacher and mentor to thousands across the globe. 

He is considered to be one of the most successful, passionate and mesmerizing communicators of Judaism today, culling his ideas from the entire spectrum of Jewish thought and making them relevant to contemporary audiences. 

He served as editor-in-chief of the Algemeiner Journal, and as a choizer (transcriber) for Lubavitcher Rebbe Menachem Mendel Schneerson.

He also loves to tell jokes, and here's the setup: This Jewish father decides to send his child to a Christian prep school. David comes home from the first day at school. And then...

Enjoy!

A Joke to Start the Week - "Advice on a Driving Range"

It's another Monday and time for another Joke to Start the Week. This week we're posting another joke from Dr. Jay Orlikoff, a retired dentist from Centereach, New York, a community on Long Island in Suffolk County.

After a distinguished and meritorious dental career, he is shifting his focus to telling and posting jokes on YouTube. We were fortunate to find some of his jokes and we're sharing one of the family-friendly ones with you today. 

Here's the setup: A woman is about to hit a ball on a driving range, when she notices the guy next to her is hitting the ball in the wrong direction. And then...

Enjoy!