Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
Chava Darski Kovacs grew up in Canada and made Aliyah to Israel. She lives in the Haredi community of Tel Tzion with her husband and seven children. She is one of a new generation of religious women standup comics who perform at David Kilimnick's Off the Wall Comedy Theater at the King Solomon Hotel in Jerusalem. Here is an excerpt from her standup routine. Not exactly an Israeli equivalent of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, she nevertheless gets laughs at a community talent night with funny observations about her life.
Chava will be performing on Sunday January 5 along with two other religious Jewish standup comics at David's Comedy Theater in Jerusalem.
Enjoy!
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This year we've been celebrating Chanukah with 10 special postings, mostly parodies of pop songs with a Chanukah twist. As we enjoy one last day of latkes, sufganiyot, and dreidels, let's sit back and listen to a symphonic medley of traditional Chanukah songs as performed by the Moanalua High School Symphony Orchestra of Honolulu, Hawaii. High school orchestras and bands around the country have been playing Chanukah festival overtures like this for many years, bringing holiday joy to Jews throughout the USA. Enjoy, and Chag Chanukah Sameach! A
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In
some Orthodox circles it's customary to have study sessions late into
the night the last week of December. But how can you study without
resorting to a few nigunim (Chasidic melodies) to brighten up the
evening? Here's one take on how to add joy to a night of Talmud study. Enjoy!
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We've been welcoming Shabbat each week with a song from the Kabbalat Shabbat liturgy. Shalom Aleichem has been the most frequently posted, and today we're adding a 35th version of this melody.
It's from a live performance this year by Avraham Fried and the Israel Symphony Orchestra at the Sultan's Pool in Jerusalem.
Enjoy, Shabbat Shalom, and Chag Chanukah Sameach to all.
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A few years ago Saturday Night Live took another look at the 1946 Classic film It's a Wonderful Life starring Jimmy Stewart, who receives a lesson in optimism from his fellow man at Christmas time. But it wasn't always that way. The film was originally made as a Hanukkah movie titled This You Call a Wonderful Life? No footage of the Hanukkah version has ever been seen...until now. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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1200 people in Rostov, Russia were treated to a performance of Slava Bogu Charasho (Glory to God) this week by students of the Rostov Jewish Day School at the annual Chanukah concert.
The Jewish community of Rostov-on-Don in Russia is planning a series of
landmark events that will commemorate the 100th yartzeit of the Rebbe
Rashab, the 5th Rebbe of Chabad-Lubavitch.
These events are set to be held around 2 Nissan 5780 (March 26-29,
2020), and bring together local Jews with Lubavitcher chassidim and students from around the world.
Rostov is home to the Ohel resting place of the Rebbe Rashab, Rabbi
Sholom DovBer Schneersohn (1860-1920) who has devoted himself to the
future of the Jewish nation by involving himself in education on all
levels.
Enjoy, and Happy Chanukah!
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Creativity flourishes every Hanukkah in the form of music videos, most of them take-offs on popular songs. But some entries are better than others, and we think we found some of the best this year.
Members of the Oshman Family JCC of Palo Alto, California worked together to produce original lyrics to fit The Gambler, the song made popular by Kenny Rogers in 1978.
In this version the dreidel takes the place of playing cards. The classic lines "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to 'fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run" become "You gotta know when to spin 'em, know how to win 'em, know when it's gimmel and know when it's nun" and so forth. Enjoy, and good luck gambling for Chanukah gelt! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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From far off places across the earth to outer space, the Chanukah Menorah has reached some interesting spots.
This world tour of menorahs in unexpected places includes Alaska, Iraq, the French Riviera, at sea, at the Eiffel Tower, and the Holland Tunnel.
In this video you can see a menorah on a soccer field in Buenos Aires, an all-chocolate menorah in Newport Beach, California, a menorah made of six feet of solid ice, and a menorah on top of an elephant in Bangkok, Thailand.
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With the first Chanukah candle being lit tonight, we bring you A Week and a Day, another new video just released for this year's festival of lights. This one's a parody of boy bands in general, and Boyz II Men in particular. The goofiness is led by late night TV host James Corden, with accompanying performances by Zach Braff, Charlie Puth, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Josh Peck. All except Corden are Jewish, and Corden has shown his familiarity with Jewish life in a funny episode that we posted in 2015 when he took over for a worker in a Jewish meat market who was taking a short break. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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The string quartet is one of the world's most
renowned classical music ensembles, for more than thirty years the
leading proponent of Latin American music for string quartet.
Founded in
Mexico in 1982, the quartet has toured extensively throughout Europe,
North and South America, Israel, China, Japan and New Zealand. They have
premiered more than a hundred works written for them and they continue
to introduce new and neglected composers to the genre.
Winners of the
2012 and 2016 Latin Grammys for Best Classical Recordings, they have
been recognized with the Mexican Music Critics Association Award and
three times received Chamber Music America/ASCAP's "Most Adventurous
Programming" Award.
The soloist in this version of Adon Olam is Sivan Rotem, an Argentinian-born Israeli whose burgeoning career in
opera, concerts, recitals, radio,
television, cabaret, commercial recordings and master classes has taken
her across the Americas via the West Indies and many continental
European countries to Egypt, South Africa, China and Australia.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
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As we count down the days until Chanukah (first candle is Sunday night) let's go back to Season 24 of Saturday Night Live in 1998. In this Saturday Night Live commercial parody, a spokesperson (Alec Baldwin) promotes
Chanukah Hymns, a new Holiday CD collection of Chanukah songs, which all
have a similar, not-very-festive, sound to them. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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We've been following and posting videos by Jamie Elman and Eli Batalion for years, including their expanded version of the old Chinese Yiddish waiter joke two years ago.
Yesterday the Montreal-based comedy team known as The YidLife Crisis released their Chanukah video for this year. It's a tongue-in-cheek conversation with Reform Rabbi Lisa Grushcow of Temple Emanu-el Beth Shalom in Montreal.
Some of the questions are funny, some preposterous, and some even serious. But we think you'll like the answers, and even more, the interaction between the rabbi and YidLife Crisis.
Enjoy!
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Walt Disney's world has many princesses, but until now, none of them were Jewish. The Disney company recently announced that a Latina Jewish princess, yet to be named, will appear on the Disney Channel series Elena of Avalor.
The Hanukkah-themed episode will
feature a visiting princess who is from a “Latino Jewish kingdom,” the Disney Channel announced. The princess will be voiced by Jamie-Lynn Sigler, who played Tony Soprano's daughter Meadow on The Sopranos.
Sigler is the perfect person to voice the character of an explicitly
Jewish Disney princess. The Jewish mom — who shares sons Beau, 6, and
Jack, 1 with her husband, baseball player Cutter Dykstra — strongly
identifies with her Jewish roots. The 38-year-old went to Hebrew school,
had a bat mitzvah, and called Israel “one of the most beautiful
inspiring places [she’s] ever been to” after completing a Birthright
trip.
Here is the Hanukkah episode. Enjoy!
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It's another
Monday, and it's time for another joke to start the week. Here comes another
one from Toronto's Jewish Folks
Telling Jokes, a night of comedy to benefit Jewish
Family and Child, one of the foremost Jewish service agencies in North
America. We
previously posted a few jokes that were told at the event, a Canadian
contribution to the world of Jewish humor, probably inspired by the
off-Broadway show Old
Jews Telling Jokes, still touring around the USA. We'll be posting more of these jokes on upcoming Mondays. Here's another one, told by Rabbi Aaron Flanzreich. Here's
the setup: A rabbi is starting in his new pulpit. After he gives his sermon and the services are completed they have a beautiful kiddush. And a man comes over to him and says "Good Shabbos Rabbi. You spoke way too long."" And then...
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With only seven days until we light the first Chanukah candle, it's time to roll out the latest crop of Chanukah videos. Every year brings us new videos, and over the years we've posted dozens from all over the world. This year we're starting off with a very special video produced by Six13 that makes a connectiion between Chanukah and Star Wars in a week that will see the release of the latest in the series of nine Star Wars movies.
Six13 is a six-man vocal band that brings an unprecedented style of
Jewish music to the stage, with songs ranging from hip-hop dance tracks
to rock anthems. The members of the New York City-based group sound like
a full band – while using nothing but their voices. Six13 has recorded five award-winning albums, whose songs have been
played all over Jewish radio and been chosen to appear on nine different
“best of” compilation albums. The group has over 20,000 CDs in
circulation, and are among the top Jewish music artists on iTunes. Enjoy! A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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Moldova is a land-locked country in Eastern Europe, north of the Balkans, surrounded by Romania to the southwest, across the Prut river, and Ukraine to the northeast.
Moldova's population is occupied mainly in food production and processing. Moldova has also produced Amelia Uzun, known as the wonder girl from Moldova.
Amelia has specialized in singing Hebrew songs since her father, a musician, encouraged her to sing Tzel Etz Tamar, a popular Hebrew song, at a Romania's Got Talent TV competition. Amelia learned to sing Shalom Aleichem, and her beautiful rendition is our choice to welcome Shabbat this week. Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom! A
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Today's Throwback Thursday comedy special features an old routine by Robert Klein in which he takes apart the pitchmen for jewelry knockoff products on the QVC shopping channel. Starting with a pitch for Diamonique artificial diamonds, he extends the concept to include sapphires, rubies, and emeralds. Klein was born in the Bronx, the son of Frieda (née Moskowitz) and Benjamin Klein and was raised in a "prototypical 1950s Bronx Jewish" environment, the grandson of Hungarian Jewish immigrants who arrived in the USA early in the 20th century.
Enjoy!
A
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With most TV channels covering the news coming daily out of Washington, you may not have noticed that over the weekend, Amazon Prime has unloaded another full season of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. It's a breath of fresh air that takes us back to simpler times. Eight hour-long episodes of the highly anticipated third season of the widely acclaimed portrayal of a Jewish family in New York in the 1950s and 1960s is now streaming on Amazon Prime. All of the main characters are back, and we get to relive Jewish life in New York 60 years ago.
In the first episode Midge performs at a USO show with White Christmas as the closing number. She quickly realizes that she doesn't know the words. Her manager Susie learns the ins and outs of contract negotiation. Abe and Rose grapple with their new financial situation, and Joel finds the perfect spot for his new club until he discovers that the space isn't as it appears.
Here's the trailer for the new season. Enjoy! A
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On Saturday night December 7, Israel's Shalva Band gave an emotional performance of God Bless America at the Israeli American Council (IAC) Summit at the Diplomat Beach Resort in Hollywood, Florida.
The
IAC's mission is to unite Israelis who moved to America with the Jewish
State. Attendees spent Thursday through Saturday discussing the most
“pressing matters in Diaspora Jewish affairs.”
The band originally began as a music therapy group started by Shalva,
the Israel Association for the Care and Inclusion of Persons with
Disabilities.
They
previously made it to the finals in The Rising Star
competition leading to representing Israel at Eurovision, but they dropped out because they would have had to violate Shabbat to perform.
At the Summit, President Trump prefaced his introduction of the Shalva Band with a tribute to Irving Berlin, who wrote God Bless America in 1918 and revised it to the current form in 1938. After the performance, they showered him with hugs. Enjoy! A
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It's another
Monday, and it's time for another joke to start the week. Here comes another
one from Toronto's Jewish Folks
Telling Jokes, a night of comedy to benefit Jewish
Family and Child, one of the foremost Jewish service agencies in North
America. We
previously posted a few jokes that were told at the event, a Canadian
contribution to the world of Jewish humor, probably inspired by the
off-Broadway show Old
Jews Telling Jokes, still touring around the USA. We'll be posting more of these jokes on upcoming Mondays. Here's another oldie
but goodie, told by Alf Kwinter. Here's
the setup: Moishe and Duvid met on Spadina Avenue in Toronto. Moishe says: Duvid, my name is no longer Moishe. And then...
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Gomez, who is Sephardic, grew up in Memphis, Tenn., and Naples, Fla.
She said although she lived in the heart of the Bible belt in Memphis,
the Jewish community thrived. She also noted she is a descendant of the
Gomez family who fled to America after the Spanish Inquisition. Their
family ancestor Luis Gomez established the Gomez Mill House in 1714 in
Newburgh, N.Y., and it remains one of the earliest known Jewish
dwellings in North America and one of the oldest homes on the National
Register of Historic Places.
Together, with her husband — comedian Sebastian Maniscalco — and
their two children, 2 1/2-year-old Serafina and 3-month-old Caruso,
Gomez said their artistic visions are a team effort, whether she’s
styling posters or tour artwork for her husband or he is weighing in on
designs for their West Hollywood home.
Here's a funny video about what happened when Sebastian Maniscalco's family wanted him to baptize their Jewish baby so she could celebrate Christmas.
Enjoy!
A
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This week we welcome Shabbat with a new version of Adon Olam by Cantor Shira Ginsburg and Composer-in-Residence Michael Hunter Ochs at the East End Temple, a Reform synagogue in New York City.
Cantor Ginsburg is celebrating her 15th year of
service at the synagogue in New York City. As a Messinger Scholar, Shira earned
her Masters, Cantorial degrees and ordination from Hebrew Union College
– Jewish Institute of Religion.
Shira is the recipient of the Women
of Reform Judaism Award, Cantorial Alumni Association Prize, and Sylvia
Davidson Memorial Award for extraordinary diligence in mastering
Chazzanut.
In addition to his success in contemporary popular music, Ochs is
universally recognized as a leading composer of Jewish and Interfaith
worship music. On any given Friday evening his music can be heard in
synagogues around the world.
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!
A
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On this Throwback Thursday we're going back 42 years to 1977 and a standup comedy performance by Billy Crystal on the TV show Midnight Special. In this set, Billy makes fun of leisure suits, Nehru jackets, corduroy on college campuses, getting phony proof of age, and dealing with a malfunctioning microphone at the senior class high school assembly. Enjoy! A
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Haddish had been kicking around the comedy world and doing guest shots
on television programs for some time, but her role in the raunchy comedy “Girls Trip” got her the
spotlight she deserved. She was voted Best Supporting Actress by the
prestigious New York Film Critics Circle, a rarity for a comedic
performance, and ultimately far more impressive than an Oscar.
As a teen she met her biological father, an Eritrean Jew who was living
in Los Angeles for a while but went back to his home country when she
was three years old. At the same time she started working in comedy
clubs and other entertainment jobs. Ironically enough, one of her early
gigs was working as part of the party team at bar and bat mitzvahs in
Los Angeles.
In recent years, though, Haddish has gotten more interested in exploring
her Jewish heritage. She started learning Hebrew and preparing for a
bat mitzvah of her own. Indeed, she plans to answer the call to Torah
this December 3, her 40th birthday, which just so happens to coincide
with the release of her latest comedy special on Netflix, “Black
Mitzvah.”
In a special Sunday night edition of Jimmy Fallon’s
“The Tonight Show,” Haddish broke into singing “Hava Nagila,” backed up
by The Roots, Fallon’s famous house band.
Enjoy! A
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She is Japanese. He is Jewish. Together, they cook up all kinds of
deliciousness. Meet Sawako Okochi and Aaron Israel. Their love for each
other led to marriage, and their love of cooking led to Shalom Japan.
The Brooklyn restaurant merges Japanese and Jewish culinary influences.
On the menu? Matzoh ball ramen and a lox bowl version of chirashi.
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It's another
Monday, and it's time for another joke to start the week. Here comes another
one from Toronto's Jewish Folks
Telling Jokes, a night of comedy to benefit Jewish
Family and Child, one of the foremost Jewish service agencies in North
America.
We'll be posting more of these jokes on upcoming Mondays. Here's another oldie
but goodie, told by Susan Lanczi.
Here's
the setup: . An elderly woman goes for a checkup to her physician. The physician is asking many questions about her health. And then...
Enjoy!
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We've posted a few video clips by French Moroccan Jewish comedian Gad Elmaleh, and your response has been very positive. So today we're posting another one of his funny bits as shown on the Conan O'Brien show last year. Before he launched his comedy career which made him France's most popular comedian, Elmaleh played at a piano bar, entertaining customers who didn't speak English. One day one of the owners asked him to sing a song in English for an important client whose wife was celebrating her birthday and insisted on an English song.
So he made up a song that sounded like English. And everyone joined in.
Here's the stunt that he pulled off successfully. Enjoy! A
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Just Published: The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 35 Years of Purim Parody
Every Purim for the past 35 years we have published a Purim parody edition of The Kustanowitz Kronikle, covering virtually every aspect of Jewish life, and including parodies of hundreds of popular movies. This year we decided to retire the series and capture all the fun in a book that's just been published and is available at Amazon.com. It has every Purim issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle from 1988 through 2022 in a full-color, full-size paperback book with hilarious headline stories and parody movie picks. Here are a few examples: TRUMP, NETANYAHU SWAP ROLES, COUNTRIES; NEW TALMUD VOLUME "VOTIN" FOUND IN IRAQ; JOINS "FRESSIN", "NAPPIN", TANTZEN","PATCHEN"; "JUDAICARE" PROGRAM PLANNED TO ENSURE THAT ALL JEWS HAVE SYNAGOGUE MEMBERSHIP; RABBIS CREATE TALMUD AMERICANI; NEW LAWS EXTEND HALACHA TO THANKSGIVING AND JULY 4; JEWISH ORGANIZATIONS WORLDWIDE UNITE TO STOP GLOBAL WARMING; FOCUS ON REDUCING HOT AIR; RABBIS TO REQUIRE SHECHITA FOR MANY FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2024 and 2025 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2024 and 2025 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 22 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2024 and 2025 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program with Al, e-mail: dan@hudakonhollywood.com.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
A long-term devotee of Jewish humor, Al Kustanowitz has been collecting and sharing it even before there was an internet. In 2009, after a 36-year career at IBM managing new technology projects, he founded Jewish Humor Central (jewishhumorcentral.com. Through the blog he brings a daily dose of fun and positive energy to readers who would otherwise start the day reading news that is often drab, dreary, and depressing (subscribing is free). He has published 12 books on humor based on his more than 4,000 blog postings, each of which includes a video clip and his commentary.
He has presented more than 100 programs in South Florida and the Northeast on topics that include the great comedians and entertainers of the 20th century, funniest moments in film and television, flash mobs around the world, and composers and lyricists of the Great American Songbook.
He earned his bachelor's and master's degrees from the City University of New York and taught computer science courses at the Courant Institute of Mathematical Sciences at New York University. He is a member of the Advisory Board of the International Association of Yiddish Clubs.
You can contact Al via email at akustan@gmail.com.
Yom Kippur
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[image: Dry Bones cartoon, Yom Kippur, sins, Israel, UN,]
Thge UN is a failing organization.
* * * Dry Bones cannot fail. . . *NOT IF WE HAVE YOUR HELP.*
...
Ondas by Fuego Opens in 5Towns
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A decade after making waves in Miami with their flagship restaurant, Fuego,
the owners have expanded their culinary empire to New York with their
latest ...
The Special Moshe
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by R. Gidon Rothstein Ve-Zot HaBerachah (We will not have an opportunity to
post this before Yom Tov – ed.) Bil’am Was Not Like Moshe When the Torah
says n...
Thoughts on the Haggadah by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum
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[image: Story 375601404]
We just recently were able to find the latest version of my fathers, Rabbi
Eli Teitelbaum Z”L, thoughts on the Haggadah and conve...
Hamantaschen: The Symbolism behind Purim Cookies
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Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
book of Esther reading. Every Jewish holiday focuses on a special dish and
the tria...
Taking the Shuk to the Next Level
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Anyone who has spent any time on my blog, or just getting to know me, knows
how much I love Jerusalem’s famous outdoor market, Shuk Machane Yehuda.
I’ve ...
Kettlebell Training Massachusetts
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In April 2006, legislation was passed requiring all residents in
Massachusetts specializes in assisting Massachusetts residents who have
been put on exhi...
A chat with some protesters…
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Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...