Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Stand-up Comedy: Victor Wishna Performs at the Jewish Week Competition


Yesterday we posted the comedy routine delivered by Linda Landau at the 2010 Jewish Week competition for the title of Best Amateur Comedian.  Victor Wishna was another of the competitors and he delivered jokes about his recent marriage, travel to Vietnam, jury duty, street vendors, and sellers of luggage at airports. Unlike the jokes we posted yesterday, these jokes are family-friendly, and we hope you enjoy them.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Linda Landau, 71-Year-Old Standup Comic, Delivers Adult Jokes to New York Audience


WARNING: We promised that we'd warn you if we post jokes and stories that are not family-friendly so you can shield yourself or anyone around you from them. So be warned, here they come.

The Jewish Week of New York City runs a Best Jewish Comic contest every year. In June 2010, one of the joke tellers was Linda Landau, a 71-year-old standup comic who started delivering jokes at the age of 60. At the start of her routine, she welcomes the audience to "Anti-Misogyny 101" in an attempt to get even with male comedians who tell jokes that are putdowns of wives, girlfriends, and mothers.

Her first joke takes the expression "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?" and turns it into "Why buy the pig when you can get the sausage for free?" From then on, it's a non-stop barrage of one joke after another for nine minutes. Some are old jokes that we've heard on "Old Jews Telling Jokes" but others are new to us. 

Some of you have been asking for more jokes among the many topics that we post. Please let us know if this collection is what you had in mind and indicate by leaving comments or checking the boxes below the video whether you like or don't like jokes of this type so we can fine tune our mix of Jewish humor in the future.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO IS NOT VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)  

Sunday, January 29, 2012

"The Footnote," Israeli Wry Comedy, Gets Oscar Nomination For Best Foreign Film


Last September we shared a story about a new wry comedy from Israel titled "Footnote" (The Hebrew title is He'arat Shulayim) that was selected to be shown at the New York Film Festival at Lincoln Center. Now comes the news that the film, for which Joseph Cedar was given the prize for Best Screenplay at the Cannes Film Festival, has been nominated for an Oscar in the Best Foreign Film category.

From our perspective, reporting from Jerusalem this week, it's clear that the nomination has made a big impression on the public. Everyone is talking about it with great anticipation, especially since a film from Iran has also been nominated for the same honor.
  
Here's the plot synopsis: Thanks to a clerical error, Eliezer Shkolnik, a respected if little-known Talmudic scholar, is informed that he’s won the coveted Israel Prize; in truth, the prize was meant for his son, Uriel, a much more flamboyant, widely-read Talmudist. The authorities ask Uriel to help them rectify the situation, but Uriel argues the case for his father’s deserving the honor. 

Meanwhile, Eliezer plans to use the occasion as an opportunity to intellectually take down his son and the whole generation of a la mode Talmudists. Cedar has here created the wryest of Jewish comedies, a emotional competition that pits father against son, built around the understanding of sacred texts. Rarely has the weight of a culture’s intellectual past been depicted so forecefully, nor shown to be as vibrant. 

The film, which was shot at sites in and around Jerusalem, depicts situations that bring smiles to residents who know too well some of the less than perfect aspects of Israeli building construction.  For example, the way participants in a meeting have to navigate around the small conference room and the non-functioning water cooler in the hallway.

In the video below, JN1 TV correspondent Jordana Miller interviews Israelis in the street to get their views on the film and what the nomination means to them.  Enjoy! 

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Friday, January 27, 2012

Mor D. Hai, Uruguayan Singer, Lights Up the Stage With Israeli Medley


As we get ready for our second of three Shabbatot in Israel, we're in the mood for some traditional popular Israeli songs and we'd like to share that mood with you by posting a video by Mor D. Hai,  whose real name is Marcos Cohen. He is an actor-singer and composer who was born and raised in Uruguay but lived in the United States for the past ten years.

Cohen is currently launching his first CD album "Diaspora Sur" in his native city, Montevideo. He started his artistic career working in Musical Theatre. He wrote the music and book of more than ten plays including A Magic Book, Tito, The Big Menace, Robotic Park, CUCU Beat Show, and The Creation.

He recently worked in Hollywood, playing the role the president of Guatemala in The Good Shepherd directed by Robert DeNiro (Universal, 2006.) starring Matt Damon and Angelina Jolie. His song Hay Que Cantar received an award for best original song at the World Championships of Performing Arts (2000) in Los Angeles.

His genre is predominantly pop mixed with Latin beats clearly influenced by the music of Brazil. In some songs he adds a touch of flamenco, Middle Eastern and the nostalgic sounds of Argentinean tango. This blend of styles gives a vibrant and unique sound to his music that makes it very accessible to all type of audiences.

In this video, Mor D. Hai sings and dances to a medley of Israeli songs from his show Diaspora South that most of you will recognize. So enjoy the music and Shabbat Shalom from Jerusalem.

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Country Western Singer Gets the "Kosher Symbol Blues"


Have you ever gone to the supermarket and gotten confused by the proliferation of kosher symbols on products?  A few months ago we counted over a hundred different symbols. In addition to the most common symbols, OU, OK, Kof-K, Star K, there are seemingly endless symbols such as a buggy from Amish country, a kiwi bird from Australia, and Ks placed inside of state map symbols, such as from Texas, Florida, and Wisconsin.

Mendel Singer, a country music songwriter, has released a debut album featuring a funny song called Kosher Symbol Blues.  Here is his description of the rationale for the song.
Many years ago a great idea was conceived. Put a symbol on the label of products that are kosher, and kosher consumers will know what they can and cannot buy. With the proliferation of symbols, this has become a bit of a nightmare! There are so many symbols. Some are very interesting (I like the horse and buggy K from Amish country). Some are very similar to others. Very confusing.
Here's an example of Singer's lyrics:

I GOT SO EXCITED, I FOUND PAREVE CHEESE
IT WAS CREAMY AND IT MELTED, IT WAS MARKED O-U P
MADE THE BEST CHEESEBURGER, GAVE MY RABBI A TRY
WHEN I PROUDLY SHOWED THE WRAPPER, HE STARTED TO CRY
HE SAID THE “P” IS NOT FOR PAREVE, IT’S PASSOVER FOOD
WE GOT THE KOSHER SYMBOL BLUES

Kosher Symbol Blues, his debut album, has 11 original songs plus a cover of the Carlebach classic “Return Again”. The powerful English lyrics and strong melodies are front and center, backed by a simple production with only a few instruments. No drum tracks or synthesizers here. From tears to laughter, from introspection to observation, this album is an emotional and intellectual experience with a touch of humor. Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Smashed Wedding Glass That Wouldn't


A Jewish wedding isn't a Jewish wedding without the groom breaking a glass at the end of the wedding ceremony. Although the preparation of the glass may vary from country to country and the type of glass may vary because of its availability, the format is basically the same: 

Either someone announces that the glass will be broken by the groom, a statement is made or song is sung to remember Jerusalem,or in some cases the glass is just broken without comment.

The glass is usually selected based on its breakability. When cameras used flashbulbs, these were sometmes selected because of their thin construction. The glass is usually wrapped in a napkin or paper to prevent glass shards from striking the participants or guests.

In most cases, the next step is simply for the groom to step on the glass and break it. But what would happen if the glass puts up a fight and refuses to be smashed?

Here's a look at just such a case where the groom intended to smash the glass with one good blow, but the glass had different ideas.  Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)
 
 
(A tip of the kippah to Dr. Allen Freedman for sending us this video.)

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

More of Amy Borkowsky's Hilarious Answering Machine Messages From Her Mother


Last February we posted a story and video about Amy Borkowsky and the answering machine messages from her mother that she turned into an iPhone application called Amy's Mom.

This week we found a larger collection of these saved messages with Amy's comments on them. Some are very funny and are bound to make you chuckle, if not laugh aloud.

Amy got her first clue that the messages which drove her crazy could be entertaining to others in her early days on New York's stand-up comedy circuit. After gathering some of her mother's most extreme messages, she played them on stage at Manhattan's top comedy clubs, and audiences consistently howled. 

The daughter who Mom nicknamed “Amila” (AY-muh-luh) stepped into the national spotlight when she appeared on the “Today” show with Matt Lauer and on National Public Radio's “Morning Edition” to introduce the first volume of her “Amy's Answering Machine: Messages from Mom” comedy CDs. Since then, she has produced a second CD, a two-volume CD set, and downloads from iTunes. They're all available from her web site.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)


Monday, January 23, 2012

"No Smoke" - Funny Viral Video Commercial for Electronic Cigarettes


What ever happened to the funny film and video short? We were delighted to find that it's still around, this time in the form of a viral video commercial for Blu electronic cigarettes.

What, you never heard of electronic cigarettes? We didn't until today. Last summer, the makers of Blu e-cigs launched a contest for the best viral video commercial. While this one didn't win the top prize, we thought it was the funniest.

In this short film, two groups of old grumpy Jewish men are sitting at tables in a New York deli, playing cards and arguing about sports, when a young man walks in and takes out an electronic cigarette. What happens next is a comic gem.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Israeli Internet Date Goes Terribly Wrong - A Funny Skit from Israel Television


Internet dating has achieved success around the world, but it has also resulted in failure, largely due to discrepancies between the profiles posted by users and their real life personalities.

An Israeli TV comedy show recently showed the result of an internet blind date gone bad. 

In this clip, Efrat, a 34-year-old from Tel Aviv, decides to jump into the internet dating pool after her friend finds a match. She filters dating prospects until she finds a "cute" possibility named Shaul and agrees to meet in a restaurant.

She arrives at the restaurant, and things go downhill rapidly from there. Obviously, the guy is a jerk, but it's a TV comedy skit, so enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Friday, January 20, 2012

Report From Israel: Gullible Tourists Lampooned in TV Comedy Show


Since we started Jewish Humor Central two years ago, we've been running a lot of video clips from Israel -- funny commercials, stand-up comedians, and skits from popular TV shows that put a unique Israeli spin on news and daily life.

We decided it's time to take a closer look at the state of humor in the State of Israel, so for the next three weeks we will be blogging from our hotel in Jerusalem.

One of our objectives here is to connect with Israeli comedians, comedy clubs, and producers of funny TV shows to insure a rich supply of humor in all its forms to keep you, our readers and viewers, laughing your way through each day. 

If you're an Israeli comedian who works in English or are involved with funny TV shows that are broadcast in English or with English subtitles, please call us on our Jerusalem cellphone (057-270-2758) to set up a meeting on the phone or in person between today and February 7.

Today's post is a clip from a popular Israeli TV comedy show called Tzchok M'avoda (Laughter from Work) where an Israeli tour guide takes advantage of the gullibility of a group of tourists on a double decker bus, and sells them phony souvenirs, such as a holy plunger and a holy trowel used by Moses to put a smooth finish on the tablets on which the Ten Commandments are written.

The first part of the sketch is in Hebrew with no English translation, but just bear with it for a minute or so and you will be able to follow when the tour guide starts speaking to his charges in English.

The tour guide is played by comic Roi Levy, and the gullible tourists by Benji Lovitt and Eric Samuels. Enjoy!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

The Yiddish Chefs Return With Gluten-Free (and Varnish-Free) Kashe Varnishkes


It's time for another cooking demo, and if you listen carefully, a lesson in spoken Yiddish.

Yes, the Forward's Est Gezunterheit chefs are back in another video from their cooking series. This time the Yiddish-speaking cooking ladies prepare gluten-free kashe varnishkes in a video just posted on YouTube.

We like these videos because you get a cooking lesson combined with a Yiddish lesson, just by listening to the light conversation between the chefs and reading the English subtitles. 

From this video, we learned some Yiddish words that we didn't know before.  Here they are:

Bowties = Schnips
Frying pan = Petelnye
Jagged cutting wheel = Tchabattateh schneidredel
Squeeze = Kneitch

The recipe appears at the end of the video.  Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places: German Children's Choir Sings Hava Nagila and Hevenu Shalom Aleichem


Hava Nagila and Hevenu Shalom Aleichem have become popular worldwide, and we have posted some renditions of these songs being performed in places that you would least expect to hear them.

Here is another example of how Jewish music can pop up unexpectedly, in this case in a church in the small town of Osterode, in Lower Saxony, Germany. And you don't have to be Jewish to sing it.

The Rainbow Children, a children's choir from Osterode, led by Rita J. Sührig sing along with the black ravens from Förste led by Holger Schlenczek and the soloist Siegfried Seyfarth in the Market Church in Osterode front of an enthusiastic audience, the Israeli songs Hava Nagila and Hevenu Shalom Aleichem.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

"The Rabbi's Cat," First a Graphic Book, is Now a Movie


France's best-loved talking cat, star of a hit comic book series, makes his big screen debut in this long awaited adaptation by celebrated graphic artist-turned-director Joann Sfar (Gainsbourg). 

Rabbi Sfar lives a quiet life by the sea with his beautiful daughter Zlabya and her pet cat in 1920s Algeria. After swallowing his arch-rival the family parrot, the cat receives the miraculous gift of speech, with no intention of ever shutting up! This irreverent, quick-witted feline loves discussing philosophy and Jewish law and demands to have a Bar Mitzvah. When a mysterious stranger arrives in the city, the Rabbi, his cat and an array of motley characters set off on a fantastical Indiana Jones-style adventure into the unknown heart of Africa.

Co-directors Sfar and Antoine Delesvaux use beautiful hand-drawn animation and a nostalgic, groovy soundtrack to bring multicultural, pre-war Algiers, with its Arab, Jewish and European inhabitants lovingly to life, in this funny, quirky and thoroughly enjoyable film.

The film has been shown at Jewish film festivals around the world, but somehow has not yet made it to the United States. We are keeping an eye out for announcements of showings and will let you know as soon as we have more information. For now, we'll have to be content with the trailer below.

In the meantime, it's worth getting a copy of the book and reading it before you get a chance to see the movie. We got a copy as a gift and devoured it, much as the cat devoured the parrot in the story.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Monday, January 16, 2012

Stuff Jewish Men Rarely Say


There's been a rash of internet videos recently titled "S*** Somebody Says," where S*** is one of the seven words you can't utter on TV and radio. The "somebodys" in these videos are girls, Jewish girls, Frum Jewish girls, and so on. Each one seems to be a parody of the others. Some are funny, and some are not.

We just found this one from Ben Czeladnicki, who calls himself The Wondering Jew. Ben has been posting some funny stuff on his web site. We've included some of his material before and we think this one is good enough to share with you. He's one of the rare ones who keeps his titles clean, which fits with our policy of posting only family-friendly humor.

Self-deprecation is one of the most popular types of humor and there's no shortage of it in this video. It may or not be your cup of tea, but there are a lot of reflections on what passes for normal in Jewish life today that may be food for thought.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Perils of Poor Translation from Hebrew to English: A Comedy Sketch From Israel


Hahafuch is Israel's premiere English-speaking comedy troupe. Their goal is to make people see the funny side of life in Israel. They are the only comedy troupe bringing humor to an English-speaking audience in their native tongue; of course Israelis can always have a laugh too. Remember, Israel is funny. And if you don’t think so then you haven’t seen their show.

The Hahafuch comedy troupe provides the other side of Israeli life, the daily dramas of bureaucracy, cafes, traffic jams, political troubles and more. And they do it through humor using improvisation, sketches, videos and music to let the world know that it’s ok to laugh at Israel and in fact there are a lot of funny things happening there.

Here is an example of Hahafuch humor. In this video clip, Benji Lovitt is Bibi Netanyahu giving a stirring speech in Hebrew, with simultaneous translation by Aaron Friedman as a sup-par Ulpan student.

If you understand Hebrew, you will hear all of the funny mistranslations that convey a message quite different from what the speaker intended.

Some mistranslations to watch for:

In my visit to Washington, I went swimming with President Obama
(The Hebrew words for swimming and discussing are similar)

It doesn't matter if you're a member of the Labor Party or the Dance Party
(Likud, the name of Netanyahu's party, sounds similar to rikud, or dance)

Peace is not some instant coffee
(The world nes, meaning miracle, is also shorthand for Nescafe, the term Israelis use for instant coffee)

Even if you don't get all of the mistranslations, the sketch is still funny.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)

Friday, January 13, 2012

The Sounds of Shabbos Echoes Simon and Garfunkel's 1964 Hit Song


Sounds of Silence is the song that propelled the 1960s folk music duo Simon & Garfunkel to popularity. It was written in February 1964 by Paul Simon in the aftermath of the 1963 assassination of John F. Kennedy. In the U.S., it was the duo's second most popular hit after Bridge Over Troubled Water.

Now, along comes a group called Jewbilation with a new set of lyrics to the Simon song. Titled The Sounds of Shabbos, it conveys the calm and serene effect of Shabbat arriving every week, and the role it plays in uniting all elements of the Jewish nation.

Here's the video, followed by the original sung by Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel.

Enjoy and Shabbat Shalom!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)


(A tip of the kippah to Linda Englander for calling our attention to this video.)



Thursday, January 12, 2012

Monsey Supermarket Covers Bare Arms and Legs of Girl on Downy Softener Bottle


You don't have to go to Beit Shemesh, Israel to see the lengths some of our brethren go to in order to avoid looking at images of women of any age.

Monsey, New York, a quiet little enclave less than an hour north of the George Washington Bridge, is home to many Chasidim and Haredim. It's also the home of the Rockland Kosher Marketplace - The Shoppers Haven, which claims to be the largest kosher supermarket. We've heard of similar claims from Pomegranate in Brooklyn and Seven Mile Market in Pikesville, Maryland, but we haven't checked them out yet.

The Monsey store is a shopping wonderland for anyone who is looking for an amazing variety of kosher food and household products, but if you're looking for a bottle of Downy Fabric Softener, you'll have to find it by the shape and color of the bottle, not by the product label.

Why? All of the bottles of Downy on the store shelves have a 4 x 2 1/2 inch white label completely covering the product name and the image of a young girl in a dress with bare arms and legs frolicking in a field of flowers. 

We first found out about this cover-up in a blog by DovBear last week. Even though the blog included a photo of the store shelf, we wanted to be sure it wasn't a set-up for a joke timed to the cover-ups of women now being protested in Israel. So, since we were shopping in the area on Monday, we visited the store to check out the display. Sure enough, there were the Downy bottles, every one covered with not one, but two thicknesses of white labels.

Our curiosity aroused (but only our curiosity), we checked the aisles wondering what the store did to Aunt Jemima Pancakes and Sun-Maid Raisins boxes, but alas, we couldn't find any. The only brands of these products they sell are Gefen and Mishpacha. We did, however, find boxes of Life Cereal that had a photo of a mother and daughter with some skin showing. (We didn't complain.)

It's quite the scene, with Yiddish songs playing on the speakers placed throughout the store.  Check out the video below and consider a field trip to this slice of Haredi life. But be sure you're not barefoot or wearing shorts or sleeveless clothing.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Women Dance Towards Change in Bet Shemesh Flashmob



Last Friday, a group of 250 women from Bet Shemesh decided to raise their voices against the exclusion of women from the public domain by holding a mass public flashmob dance in the city square.

The women, residents of the city from all ages and sectors, religious, traditional and secular, gathered together in a flashmob dance to the sounds of Queen's Don't Stop Me Now.

As Liron Nagler-Cohen reported yesterday in Ynet News,
The song was not chosen randomly, and neither was the timing. "We had all kinds of ideas," says Miri Shalem, the project's initiator and director of the Ramat Beit Shemesh community center.
"We thought, for example, about Aretha Franklin's 'Respect' or 'I Will Survive'. It was important that the song would be in English, so that the message would be conveyed abroad too."
The song was not chosen randomly, and neither was the timing. "We had all kinds of ideas," says Miri Shalem, the project's initiator and director of the Ramat Beit Shemesh community center.
"I Will Survive" was eventually dropped, "because we didn't want a connotation of survival," says Shalem. The rhythmic Queen song was chosen by the choreographer, Liat Amar, and the rest is history.

Flash mob is a way to convey a social message – and when religious and secular women dance together in the center of the city most identified with the exclusion of women, the message gets through.

The initiators – all social activists who hold management positions – set up a "women's council" several years ago, whose members are ultra-Orthodox, religious and secular women, veteran residents alongside new residents.

"We were very unhappy with everything that's happened recently in terms of the exclusion of women," adds Orna Nachmani, manager of the Beit Shemesh seminary.

"It was important for us not to attack a certain public, but on the contrary – to come and say that we have a voice. We expressed our voice through the dance."
Here's a video of the Bet Shemesh flashmob, followed by a video of the original Queen performance, with all the lyrics.

Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)


Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A Dog Becomes "Bark Mitzvah" in New Jersey (You Just Can't Make this Stuff Up)


The Associated Press reported this week on the latest mishegas -- a "Bark Mitzvah" for a Pomeranian dog named Nicky. The ceremony was performed by Lee Day, whose web site lists her as a celebrity pet hair stylist and pet entertainer, in Stanhope, New Jersey, where the pooch turned two years old, or thirteen in dog years.

There was champagne, cake, and a yarmulke for the guest of honor. The reporter covering the event asked "But with all the wacky chutzpah involved in a Bark Mitzvah, It's hard not to ask: Is there a line being crossed?"

Matzav.com reported the story on Friday as follows:
The latest development in dubious “religious” trends: the rise of bar mitzvahs for dogs.
While not exactly mainstream, the ceremonies, known as “bark mitzvahs,” are apparently now a rite of passage for some Jewish dog owners and their pets, part of what the Associated Press describes as a “booming multimillion-dollar industry.”
The AP yesterday released footage of a ceremony honoring a New Jersey canine named Nicky, who celebrated reaching age 13 - in dog years - by donning a kippah for a ceremony attended by his owner and friends. “I really believe that the animals have a right to have a party and a religion,” said Lee Day, a talis-wearing woman described by the news service as a “bark mitzvah performer.”

Predictably, not everyone is thrilled with the trend. “It’s really part of a sacred tradition,” said Rabbi Daniel Satlow, referring to the human version of the ceremony. “To imagine that a dog could do anything like this is degrading.”
“This is nothing less than a desecration of a cherished Jewish tradition and degrades some of the central principles of Jewish life. I urge readers to reject such practices,” wrote Rabbi Charles A. Kroloff. “I enjoy a good time as much as the next person. But not at the expense of religious traditions that need strengthening, not desecrating.”

This isn't the first Bark Mitzvah. In October 2007, the Schneider family celebrated the Bark Mitzvah of Bumpy Schneider, their "first bred son." The party was complete, with specially printed kippot, Hava Nagila and limbo dancing with disco lighting, a photo sign-in board, and a fire hydrant centerpiece.

That same year, a group of Jewish doctors including Dr. Ruth Westheimer celebrated the Bark Mitzvah of a dog named Elvis, an event that included the dog reading the "Arf Torah."

If you think we're kidding, here's the video of the event published by the Associated Press, followed by the 2007 videos of the Bark Mitzvahs of Bumpy Edward Schneider and Elvis.

Enjoy (?)

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)





Monday, January 9, 2012

Comedy Showcase: Stuart Rappaport - Optometrist by Day, Comedian by Night


In 2005, Stuart Rappaport won the Jewish Week Best Jewish Comedian contest. We found a clip of this prize-winning performance and we're sharing it with you today.

A man of many talents, Rappaport is an optometrist by day in Cedarhurst, New York. When he's not doctoring, he is a stand-up comedian, a theater performer, and a cantor.

As Justin Sachs wrote in the Five Towns Herald last September,
Rappaport got his start in 2000 when he saw an advertisement in one of his local papers. “I like a challenge, and I’ve always had a flair for entertainment,” he said. “Comedy was something I always wanted to try my hand at.”

Success came early for the Orthodox Jewish doctor, who came in third place a mere three years contest after starting, followed by a second place finish the following year and taking the top spot in 2005.
Here is his prize-winning routine.  Enjoy!

(A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:  THE VIDEO MAY NOT BE VIEWABLE DIRECTLY FROM THE EMAIL THAT YOU GET EACH DAY ON SOME COMPUTERS AND TABLETS.  YOU MUST CLICK ON THE TITLE AT THE TOP OF THE EMAIL TO REACH THE JEWISH HUMOR CENTRAL WEBSITE, FROM WHICH YOU CLICK ON THE PLAY BUTTON IN THE VIDEO IMAGE TO START THE VIDEO.)