Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
It's the last Monday of 2015, so it's time for the last Joke to Start the Week. In 2015, that is.
Next Monday we'll be back with the first Joke to Start the Week of 2016. When we started the weekly Monday joke back in August of 2012, we didn't think we could keep finding enough jokes to keep the series going. Thanks to the Old Jews Telling Jokes website and a group of our friends and readers who were recruited or volunteered, we've been able to give you a joke every week. If you're a joke teller who'd like to appear on Jewish Humor Central with a Monday joke, send us a video clip (family-friendly only, please) for our review. Or catch up with us at one of our Florida lectures in February and we'll try to record your joke on the spot. Today we're sharing another joke from Bob Hertzendorf, our favorite certified hypnosis counselor. (How many certified hypnosis counselors do you know?) Here's the setup: Mr Goldberg goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough physical -- blood work and everything, and then... Enjoy! (A SPECIAL NOTE FOR NEW EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS:
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The sound varies because the clips come from different sources. Bob's today is from a DVD that he recorded and sent to me. I had been using an old camcorder until I got a new one a few weeks ago. The more recent jokes that I recorded with this camcorder all have much better sound quality. I expect this to continue. Watch next Monday's joke and let me know in your comments if it meets your requirements.
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Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
Now You Can Book Program and Lecture Dates for 2022 and 2023 in Person and Via ZOOM
Now is the time to book our Jewish humor programs and lectures for your 2022 and 2023 events in person and via ZOOM anywhere in the world. Book any of our 20 popular programs including "The Great Jewish Comedians", “Israel is a Funny Country”, and "Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places." Click above for details and videos. To book a program, contact Al at akustan@gmail.com or 201-390-7535.
"Jewish Traces in Unexpected Places" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book presents 150 anecdotes and associated video clips that reveal the myriad ways that Jewish culture, religion, humor, music, song, and dance have found expression in parts of the world that, at first glance, might not seem supportive of Jewish Life. It includes 50 videos of Hava Nagila being performed from Texas to Thailand, from India to Iran, and from Buenos Aires to British Columbia. Also highlighted are 34 international versions of Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, Adon Olam, Abanibi, and Tumbalalaika. Whether you’re reading the print version and typing in the video URLs or reading the e-book version and clicking on the links, you’ll have access to 150 video clips totaling more than 10 hours of video. Enjoy!
"Israel is a Funny Country" is now available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle editions
This book explores the multifaceted nature of humor in Israel, some of which is intentional and some of which is unintentional. Either way, the quirks of Israeli life contribute to making that life interesting and fulfilling. In the pages of this volume, we take a look at humorous slices of Israeli life, Israeli comedy, satire and parody, funny TV commercials, unusual stories about food, surprising rabbinic bans on daily activities, simchas as they can only be celebrated in Israel, and endearing aspects of Israeli culture. There are more than 120 anecdotes and links to video clips totaling more than six hours of video. We hope that these anecdotes and video clips give you a new and different insight into life in Israel, and encourage you to join in the fun by planning a visit to the land flowing with milk and honey.
Now is the time to book our Jewish Humor Shows and Lectures in person or on ZOOM.
Bring Al's Jewish humor lectures and comedy programs with the funniest videos on the Internet to your community and your synagogue, club, JCC, organization or private event in person or via ZOOM. We're taking reservations now for 2022 and 2023 dates in your community. Click above for details. To book a program, contact Al at akustan@gmail.com or 201-390-7535.
Now Open: The Jewish Humor Central Gift Shop
Jewish Humor Central logo merchandise is now available. Click on the image above to see the complete collection -- More than 100 items from tote bags, baseball caps, mugs, aprons, drinkware, T-shirts and sweatshirts, to pajamas and underwear.
Add Laughter to Your Purim Celebration. Order Now From Amazon.com.
The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 25 Purim newsletters from 1988 to 2012 filled with parody, satire, and spoofs. Available now from Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.. A great gift for the hosts of your Purim Seudah.
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - Now Available in eBook and Paperback at Amazon.com
The Best of Jewish Humor Central - More than 400 video clips, including music and comedy videos for all the Jewish holidays. View them on Your PC, Mac, Kindle Fire, iPad, iPhone, iTouch, Android Tablet and Smartphone. Click on the image above to peek inside and download a free sample. And now, a paperback edition for anyone who prefers a traditional book and doesn't mind typing the URLs instead of clicking on them.
About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
Al Kustanowitz, Jewish Humor Central's Publisher and Editor-in-Chief, has collected Jewish humor even before there was an internet. For the last 25 years he has been editor and publisher of The Kustanowitz Kronikle.
Al is a member of the Jewish Speakers Bureau.
Want to contact us? Just send email to akustan@gmail.com.
The Dual Sanctity of Israel
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by R. Moshe Kurtz Lomdus on the Parsha: Bo Based on the Acclaimed Sefer
Chavatzeles HaSharon Q: May we sanctify the new month outside the Land of
Israel? G...
You're Not Powerless
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[image: Dry Bones cartoon,wifi, spying, online devices, privacy, data,]
The Full Story: Click Here
Yup. The world is getting scarier, BUT you are NOT pow...
Jews Blessed by their High Priests
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This what it looks like when nearly 100,000 Jews gather by the Western Wall
in Jerusalem in order to get blessed by descendants of their high priests.
This...
Thoughts on the Haggadah by Rabbi Eli Teitelbaum
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[image: Story 375601404]
We just recently were able to find the latest version of my fathers, Rabbi
Eli Teitelbaum Z”L, thoughts on the Haggadah and conve...
Hamantaschen: The Symbolism behind Purim Cookies
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Purim is a celebration of masquerade, Mishloach Manot, Hamantaschen and
book of Esther reading. Every Jewish holiday focuses on a special dish and
the tria...
Taking the Shuk to the Next Level
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Anyone who has spent any time on my blog, or just getting to know me, knows
how much I love Jerusalem’s famous outdoor market, Shuk Machane Yehuda.
I’ve ...
Kettlebell Training Massachusetts
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In April 2006, legislation was passed requiring all residents in
Massachusetts specializes in assisting Massachusetts residents who have
been put on exhi...
A chat with some protesters…
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Originally posted on don of all trades:
Hi protesters, it’s me, Don. Do you remember me? No? I’m a police officer.
We’ve met before. Excuse me? Did you say...
Trayf of the Week: Bacon Jam
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Just when you thought it was safe to eat your bagels in mixed company,
comes this devilish concoction. Next time a Goyishe friend offers you a
shmear, mak...
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE USE A BETTER SOUND SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI have been after Al to bet a better sound system also. Do something please, please, please.
DeleteThe sound varies because the clips come from different sources. Bob's today is from a DVD that he recorded and sent to me. I had been using an old camcorder until I got a new one a few weeks ago. The more recent jokes that I recorded with this camcorder all have much better sound quality. I expect this to continue. Watch next Monday's joke and let me know in your comments if it meets your requirements.
DeleteThis joke should not have been rated "G"
ReplyDelete