Jewish Humor Central is a daily publication to start your day with news of the Jewish world that's likely to produce a knowing smile and some Yiddishe nachas. It's also a collection of sources of Jewish humor--anything that brings a grin, chuckle, laugh, guffaw, or just a warm feeling to readers.
Our posts include jokes, satire, books, music, films, videos, food, Unbelievable But True, and In the News. Some are new, and some are classics. We post every morning, Sunday through Friday. Enjoy!
Mezumenet is the University of Maryland's Jewish a cappella group. It
was founded in December 2008 by four young women who studied (and sang)
in Israel together. When they came to the University of Maryland they
wanted to continue to share their passion for singing and Jewish
culture.
Their repertoire includes traditional Jewish melodies, current Israeli pop, classic rock, current Broadway hits, and contemporary radio hits, all rounded out with their unique Mezumenet parodies.
Let us Bench is a parody of Be Our Guest from the animated film Beauty and the Beast. It's about the only thing that's left to do after a long Shabbat lunch -- saying the Grace After Meals (Benching). The lyrics appear below the video.
Enjoy, and Shabbat Shalom!
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Let us bench, let us bench Let us daven like a mensch We've been sitting here and talking and we really need a rest Challah's gone, cholent too So there's one thing left to do It's halacha and I don't lie Don't believe me? Ask the rabbi!
Time is short, I'm in a crunch After all it's way past lunch And I've already digested all this food Go on and take that step This is no time to schlep So let us bench Let us bench Let us bench
I got here at twelve o'clock And you never stopped your talk Gossiping, oh it was fun Oh have you seen the rabbi's son? But politics don't thrill me And I have somewhere to be I don't mean to be complaining You're no longer entertaining
We told jokes Heard your schtick Now come on, let's be quick Oh the food was really great, I've no regrets But drain that kiddush glass Get up and off your--tuchus! And let us bench Let us bench Let us bench
Life is so unnerving For a girl who's so observing And my head just needs a bed to lay upon Ah, those Shabbos naps when I was little Suddenly those good old naps are gone
For hours we've been sitting And for me it's time for quitting I need exercise, a chance to use my limbs Today we just sat around the table Flabby, fat, and lazy And it's making me go crazy
Let's not bench, let's not bench It's not something we suggest You haven't been here all that long And dear quite frankly you're our guest So sit down, eat more food It's not time yet to conclude 'Til the moonlight starts a-glowing Let us help you, we'll keep going
Course by course Song by song We'll stay here 'til day is done Then Mez can sing you off to sleep as you digest We know you love to schmooze (But I've just got to snooze!) So let's not bench (So let us bench!) Let's not bench (Let's bench!) Let's not bench (Miriam, you pulled this last week, I'm not doing it again!) Please let's not bench (The rabbi's son would be so disappointed!)
Join us in Boca Raton on March 6 for a special program on "The Great Jewish Comedians" at F.A.U.
My 90 minute program on The Great Jewish Comedians at Florida Atlantic University on March 6 has completely sold out. If you're a Jewish Humor Central subscriber who got one of the 540 tickets before they sold out, meet me to shmooze in the auditorium lobby after the show.
Jewish Humor Central Staff
Publisher and Editor-in-Chief:
Al Kustanowitz Food and Wine Editor:
Aviva Weinberg Israel Food and Wine Consultant Penina Kustanowitz Reporter and Photographer:
Meyer Berkowitz Reporter Phyllis Flancbaum
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Add Laughter to Your Purim Celebration. Order Now From Amazon.com.
The Kustanowitz Kronikle - 25 Purim newsletters from 1988 to 2012 filled with parody, satire, and spoofs. Available now from Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.. A great gift for the hosts of your Purim Seudah.
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About the Publisher and Editor-in-Chief
Al Kustanowitz, Jewish Humor Central's Publisher and Editor-in-Chief, has collected Jewish humor even before there was an internet. For the last 25 years he has been editor and publisher of The Kustanowitz Kronikle.
Al is a member of the Jewish Speakers Bureau.
Want to contact us? Just send email to akustan@gmail.com.
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Refreshing!
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