We Welcome Shabbat with a New Lecha Dodi Melody From Julie Geller

On Erev Shabbat we like to post a musical introduction to the weekly day of rest. We're lucky to have found many new variations on traditional Shabbat melodies like Shalom Aleichem, Lecha Dodi, and Adon Olam.

Julie Geller has been a wonderful source of new original music that she writes and sings for Shabbat, Jewish holidays, and songs for year-round listening.

Julie, raised in Colorado where she now lives with her family, also spent time in Boston, San Diego, and Israel. She has taken on a mission to bring love and healing into the world through her music.
  
Julie is a graduate of Harvard University and the New England Conservatory of Music. She studied at Bar Ilan University and Midreshet Lindenbaum in Israel.
 
Enjoy, and Shabbat shalom!

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World's Oldest Man Has Bar Mitzvah in Israel at 113

As a young boy, Polish-born Yisrael Kristal looked forward to turning 13 when he could celebrate his Bar Mitzvah. But that was 1916 and World War I crushed that hope. Little did he know that he would wait a century for that ceremony.

Kristal barely survived the next world war as a prisoner in Auschwitz. After WWII, he rebuilt his life in Israel, raising a family and opening a business. Earlier this year, he was recognized by Guinness World Records as the world's oldest man.

But the milestone event that marks a Jewish boy's passage to adulthood eluded Kristal until last week when he finally celebrated his Bar Mitzvah, at the age of 113, surrounded by two children, nine grandchildren and 30 great-grandchildren in Haifa, Israel.

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Shai Abramson, IDF Chief Cantor, Sings Unetaneh Tokef and Central Synagogue's Angela Buchdahl Sings B'Rosh Hashana

Tonight Jews all around the world will gather in synagogues to usher in Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year with the Kol Nidrei prayer.

Tomorrow synagogues will be filled for most of the day with congregants saying the traditional prayers in the Yom Kippur liturgy. The focal point of the day's service is Unetaneh Tokef, a two-part liturgical poem, said to have been composed either in the 11th century or the 8th century.

This video clip of the opening prayer was produced especially for the Jewish High Holidays. It shows IDF chief cantor Shai Abramson and IDF soldiers singing it in the Great Synagogue in Tel Aviv. 

The video features footage of the Yom Kippur War and one of its heroes, Brig. Gen. (res.) Avigdor Kahalani, who was a battalion commander in the Armored Brigade, fought in the battle of the Valley of Tears and was awarded a Medal of Valor.

The second part of the prayer, B'rosh Hashana, is sung in the video below by Angela Warnick Buchdahl, the rabbi and cantor of the Central Synagogue in New York.

We'll be at services all day tomorrow and back with more Jewish humor on Thursday. 

May we all be inscribed and sealed for a happy and healthy Year.

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A Joke to Start the Week - "Canine Career Choice"

It's the Monday before Yom Kippur and we were looking for a joke that takes place during the High Holidays when along comes an email from our latest joke teller, Joyce Fama.

When she's not telling jokes, Joyce is an award winning Connecticut sculptor. Her medium is fired clay that is finished with custom patinas. 

Tomorrow is Yom Kippur eve, so we'll get a bit more serious with tomorrow's post, but every Monday is joke day at Jewish Humor Central unless one of the major Jewish holidays falls on Monday. That's what will happen for the next two weeks, with both Sukkot and Shemini Atzeret falling on Monday.

We'll be observing Yom Kippur tomorrow in Jerusalem, and we'll be back Thursday with our usual mix.

Wishing all our readers and viewers a G'mar Chatima Tova.

Here's the setup for today's joke: In a synagogue during the High Holidays, the congregants are all there. One of them walks in with his dog, and then...

Enjoy! 

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Happy 92nd Birthday to Bill Dana (Jose Jimenez) - One of Our Favorite Jewish Comedians

Our best wishes go out this week to William Szathmary on his 92nd birthday. Who is William Szathmary? None other than Bill Dana, one of our favorite and funniest Jewish comedians.

Bill's main claim to fame is in assuming the character of Bolivian astronaut, karate expert, and Santa Claus instructor Jose Jimenez. As we reported last month, he also wrote the Sammy Davis Jr. script for All in the Family.

Last year we profiled Bill as part of our series on The Great Jewish Comedians. Because you liked them so much, we're repeating the videos of Bill explaining how he came up with the character and his distinctive accent in 1959.

Bill's birthday is prominent on his Facebook page this week. That's where we found the Jose Jimenez for President button. Considering the election shenanigans this year, we're thinking he might not be a bad choice.

Enjoy!

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92nd Street Y Unites Communities Around the World in Song for the New Year

Just in time for the beginning of our New Year 5777, the 92nd Street Y in New York commissioned a brand new song, A New Year, written and produced by Michael Hunter Ochs.

In addition to his success in contemporary popular music, Ochs is universally recognized as a breakthrough composer in Hebrew/Jewish worship music. On any given Friday evening his music can be heard in synagogues around the world. He has been honored with performances at some of the most respected Jewish Institutions including The Jewish Museum of Berlin (for the 70th Commemoration of Kristallnacht) and London's Leo Baeck Rabbinical College. 

To introduce this new song, communities around the world recorded pieces that were stitched together to provide a complete version. Soloists and choirs in the video are from New York, Los Angeles, Nashville, Tel Aviv, Buenos Aires, London, Melbourne, and Sao Paolo.

Enjoy and Shabbat Shalom.

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(A tip of the kippah to Michael Reinheimer for bringing this video to our attention.)

Throwback Thursday Comedy Special: How Buddy Hackett Found Out His Wife Was Expecting

Today's Throwback Thursday episode goes way back 50 years to 1966, when Buddy Hackett was a regular guest on The Dean Martin Show

In this episode Buddy tells Dean how he found out that his wife Sherry was expecting a baby. In typical Hackett fashion the story includes late night activities, a snowstorm, a police officer, a mackinaw, a pair of boots, a pizza pie, and a balloon. 

You just have to hear him tell the story to put all these elements together, and it's worth it because in the end you'll get a good laugh out of it.

Enjoy!

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Haredi Kids Pursue Fitness With Yiddish Exercise in Summer Camp

Yeshiva students, especially Haredi boys studying for long hours each day, need stamina to pursue their learning goals. After all, turning pages demands a high degree of physical fitness.

It's always been a mystery to us as to how these young men are able to maintain their study regimen, day in and day out.

Now the secret has been revealed in a video just posted on YouTube. It gives us an inside look at some of these kids in summer camp Ohel Baruch Krasna in Monticello, NY performing gymnastics with an exciting and interactive exercise song in Yiddish, led by their physical education instructor.

Enjoy!

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Wishing All of Our Readers a Shanah Tovah - Happy New Year 5777

Thanks to our thousands of loyal subscribers and casual readers worldwide who have joined us during the year.

We started this blog on October 5, 2009 and it's been going strong with more than 2000 blog entries over the last seven years.  We appreciate your loyalty and we hope to keep bringing you a daily mix of Jewish humor in all of its forms -- traditional, eclectic, musical, unbelievable but true, and just funny, tempered with touches of nostalgia and Yiddishe nachas. 

5775 has been an amazing year for us -- a year of wonderful friendship, a year in which our whole family spent Passover in Jerusalem, a year in which our nine books on Jewish humor have been selling on Amazon.com, and in which we performed 26 comedy shows and lectures in New York, New Jersey, and Florida.

We'll be attending Rosh Hashanah services for the next two days, and we'll be back posting again on Wednesday.  Here's wishing a happy, healthy, joyous, prosperous and funny New Year from our family to yours! 

 The Kustanowitz Kronikle is our Rosh Hashanah Greeting Card. 

Click on the page below for a printable PDF version.

 

Here Come the Rosh Hashana Videos: Argentinian Comedian Martin Sipicki Plays 6 Roles

Here's a shout-out to our readers in Argentina and the Spanish speaking world. This year we're featuring some funny Rosh Hashana music videos in Spanish. 

Why? Because Argentina is producing some new and funny videos to welcome the New Year 5777.

Martin Sipicki is an Argentinian comedian who has been making Rosh Hashana videos for a few years. We only caught up with him this year and you'll see him below playing six different roles in an ensemble video welcome to Rosh Hashana. It's a parody of the song We Are the World.

Enjoy!

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Here Come the Rosh Hashana Videos - From Argentina, Se Viene Rosh Hashana by KEF

Orquesta Kef is a group of young Argentinian musicians who play traditional, classical and contemporary Jewish songs. The Kef sound brings together the emotion, passion and spirit of Jewish music, generating and sharing good times with their audience.

It all began at the end of the year 2000, near Chanukah 5761, when a group of young musicians wanted to express and share their talents with the community.

Shortly after their premiere, Kef found its own and unique musical style. It is based on the millenary force of tradition and the powerful emotion of the Jewish culture, mixed in with Latin American sounds.

As we wind down our list of special music videos for Rosh Hashana, today we're bringing you one with a spirited Spanish greeting: Rosh Hashana is coming, and everyone should have a good and sweet year!

Enjoy!

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Here Come the Rosh Hashana Videos - Shana Tova by the Israeli Opera

The Israeli Opera, formerly known as the New Israeli Opera, is the principal opera company of Israel. It was founded in 1985 after lack of Israeli government funding led to the demise of the Israel National Opera. 

Since 1994 the Tel Aviv Performing Arts Center has been its main performance venue. The company also founded the Israeli Opera Festival which has performed large-scale outdoor productions, originally at Caesarea, and from 2010 in Masada.

Meitar Opera Sudio is a practical study and performance program for young Israeli opera singers who graduated from any given music academy and who are on the verge of embarking on an operatic career. The major goal of the Opera Studio is to nurture operatic talent in Israel and to help young opera singers to work in their profession. The Opera Studio program is aimed at young Israeli opera singers who are willing to hone their craft, further their studies on an ongoing basis and gain stage experience, thus getting ready for a full-fledged operatic career.

In this new video, the young Israeli opera singers of the Meitar Opera Studio use their operatic voices to convey a very timely greeting - Shana tova, sh'nat shalom v'ahava -- Wishing you a good year, a year of peace and love.

Enjoy!

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Here Come the Rosh Hashana Videos: Can't Stop the Feeling

Today we bring you the second in our 2016 series of Rosh Hashana music videos. This one is from Aish.com, the internet site of Aish HaTorah, the Israel-based outreach organization.

Headquartered in Jerusalem near the Western Wall, Aish.com is an apolitical network of Jewish educational centers in 35 branches on five continents. This partnership enables Aish.com users to experience the richness of community at an Aish branch.
 
The name Aish HaTorah literally means "Fire of Torah." As Elie Weisel said: "Aish HaTorah means to me the passion of teaching, the passion of learning. The study of Torah, the source of Jewish values, is the way to Jewish survival."

The music parody is of a pop song called Can't Stop the Feeling by Justin Timberlake. It was filmed in an around the streets of Jerusalem and the Mahane Yehuda market. The lyrics appear just below the video.

Enjoy!

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Lyrics

I got this feeling inside my soul
It goes electric, wavy when I turn it on
I’m doing a mitzvah, I’m coming home
We're flying up, got tzitzis, when we in our zone

I got my Torah in my pocket
Got that good soul leading me
I feel that pleasure in my soul when it does pop, ooh
I can take my eyes up off it, moving so phenomenally
Reachin’ out, my soul can rock it, so don't stop

And when I hear that voice inside go
“Nowhere to hide, you don’t need to grow
Just be a body, you already know
So just imagine, just imagine, just imagine”
I’m not gonna listen to ya; just grow, grow, grow yeah
Goodness creeping up on me
Torah – grow, grow, grow, c’mon
All those mitzvahs I should do
Torah, learn and know yeah
And my soul ain't leaving soon, here I grow, yeah

I can't stop the feeling
So just grow, grow, grow
I can't stop the feeling
So here we go, go, go, come on

Ooh, it's something magical
It’s Rosh Hashanah, time to choose, souls yearning on
Don't need no lying, I’ve got control
I fly so high, no cheating, out my comfort zone

'Cause I got my Torah in my pocket
Got that good soul telling me
I got to use all my potential, just choose life, ooh
Time to make that greater vision, living so phenomenally
Rosh Hashanah’s gonna rock it, and that’s right

Open machzor cuz everything goes
A new beginning when God is so close
Makin’ choices when shofars are blown
So just imagine, just imagine, just imagine
Love that inner Jew in you, just dance, dance, dance
Feeling good, good, creeping up on you
So just dance, dance, dance, come on
All those mitzvahs you can do
So just dance, dance, dance
And my soul ain't leaving soon, so keep dancing

I can't stop the feeling
We got this feeling everybody
I can't stop the feeling
We got this feeling in my soul
I can't stop the feeling
We got this feeling everybody
I can't stop the feeling
We got this feeling in my soul
I can't stop the feeling
We got this feeling everybody, come on

A Joke to Start the Week - "Facing Eternity"

Today we're posting another joke by Bob Epstein, who holds forth every summer as recreation specialist at the Berkshire Hills Eisenberg Adult Vacation Center in Copake, New York. 

Bob is an 88-year-old retired Assistant Principal in the New York school system. His summer duties include joke telling sessions with the seniors who come to the mountains for a summer vacation.

Here's the setup for today's short joke: Sadie is 68 years old and she's thinking of having a face lift. And then...

Enjoy!

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Here Come the Rosh Hashana Videos - Shofar Shrills by The Singer Family

Rosh Hashana begins one week from tonight, so we're going to share some of the new music videos that have been released with High Holiday themes.

Don't expect a Rosh Hashana video every day -- we'll still post jokes and funny happenings -- but we'll be posting some of the best new videos as they come in.

We'll kick off the countdown with a music video we just found called Shofar Shrills that the Singer Family posted. They put new words to the pop hit Cheap Thrills by Australian singer Sia, and cover the whole range of Rosh Hashana observances in an upbeat song that we hope you will enjoy!

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