Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Trump, Netanyahu Swap Roles, Countries (A Purim Spoof)

This year Purim starts with the reading of Megillat Esther Wednesday Night March 20. It is read again on Thursday morning, March 21. We wish a Happy Purim to all of our Jewish Humor Central readers. We hope you enjoy this special Purim spoof from the Purim 2019 issue of The Kustanowitz Kronikle. You can download the PDF by clicking HERE. Print it and share it at your Purim Seudah. And coming tomorrow - Part 2 of our Purim spoof: Rabbis Establish New Blessings  for Today’s Secular Encounters.
Trump Quits U.S. Presidency, Aims for Israel Prime Ministry;
Netanyahu Quits as Israel PM, Sets Sights on White House;
Opposition Cries “Collusion” and “Obstruction”

FAIR LAWN, NJ, March 21 – As election fever heats up in Israel and the U.S., Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and President Donald Trump shocked the world by announcing “the deal of the century.” 

    Trump and Netanyahu will report to the United States Embassy in Jerusalem where they will resign their current posts and swap citizenships. Then both leaders will officially enter the election races in their newly adopted countries as independent candidates.
    With a handshake to seal the deal, the two leaders acknowledged that the swap was influenced by their popularity decline in their own countries and their increased popularity in their newly adopted countries.

    Opposition parties in both countries reacted immediately with alarm, setting off rallies in Washington and Jerusalem to protest the “collusion” between right-wing factions in Israel and the U.S. and “obstruction” of their time-tested electoral processes.

    Both left-wing and right-wing coalitions challenged Netanyahu’s right to become an American citizen overnight, but yesterday President Trump signed an executive order giving Bibi an exemption because he “looks and speaks like an American.”

    Similar opposition in Israel challenged Trump’s right to become an Israeli citizen overnight, but yesterday Prime Minister Netanyahu signed a similar order granting an exemption to Trump because of his recognition of Jerusalem as Israel’s eternal capital and moving the U. S. Embassy to Jerusalem.

    The Trump-Netanyahu pact left political parties and agendas in disarray in both countries. Members of Congress and the Knesset would not comment on any policy changes both governments face as a result of the swap.

    Both leaders said that after winning their elections they will outlaw political correctness and moral equivalence in favor of increased security profiling.

    The unusual swap also prompted an inquiry into traditional electoral processes in both countries. The U.S. electoral system has already been under review since the 2016 election; Israel is now convening its own review of how its prime minister has traditionally been selected. The expected leadership change may prompt process changes, as well.