Senator Orrin Hatch, Mormon Hanukkah Songwriter, Gets a Payback from the Tonight Show's Only Jew

On Monday night, the Tonight Show wanted to thank Utah Senator Orrin Hatch for writing a Hanukkah song, so bandleader Max Weinberg, as a member of the Jewish Community, presented a holiday song that he wrote just for Mormons, to the tune of "I Have a Little Dreidel."

"Now this is a song for Mormons to sing at Christmas time -- I only know about Mormons from the stuff that I read online..." and so it goes, bringing in the Osmonds, the movies Children of the Corn and Witness, Mitt Romney, and Miss PacMan and...well, you really should watch it.  Enjoy!

(A tip of the kippah to Esther Kustanowitz for first calling this to our attention in her Beliefnet blog.)

Happy Chanukah ! Celebrate Day 5 With the P.S. 22 Children's Chorus

It's the fifth day of Chanukah, and we invite you to enjoy a different sound, the voices of the seventy fifth-grade students who make up the P.S. 22 Chorus from Staten Island.

Led by Gregg Breinberg, their musical director, they sing the traditional Maoz Tsur in Hebrew.  These are not Hebrew School kids.  Many of its members are from disadvantaged backgrounds. Breinberg says that several of the students in the chorus are from special education and English as a Second Language programs. “It’s one of the more rewarding aspects of my profession to see so many of our kids who have difficulties in other areas of academics thrive within the choral environment,” he says. “People often lose sight of how important music is to the education of these kids.”

Breinberg has been running the chorus since 2000. A musician by heritage, he also worked as a clown at summer camp before settling on teaching as a career. “Best decision I ever made for myself,” he says, “although full credit must be given to my parents for pointing me in the right direction and practically pushing me off the precipice.”

Jewish and Muslim Comics Join Forces in "Laugh in Peace"

Remember Rabbi Bob Alper?  The Reform rabbi turned standup comedian?  Jewish Humor Central introduced him to you a few weeks ago.  Well, Rabbi Bob has been touring the U.S. with Muslim Comedian Azhar Usman. They call their program Laugh in Peace. 

Imagine top-notch comedy, two seasoned performers with unique "hooks," (a Muslim and a rabbi) and beneath it all, an implicit but not preachy (and definitely non-political) message of respect and understanding.

A program that's hysterical, healthy, clean, and healing, with an underlying message of hope.  Click on the video below for a 9 minute video clip of one of their performances.

They've been performing at colleges, synagogues, and JCCs all over the U.S. and Canada.  You can check their schedule to see if they'll be anywhere near you in the next few months.  Enjoy!

Chanukah Around the World: Jewish Dance and Song in Lithuania

In 1886, Rabbi Yosef Shlomo Kahaneman founded the Ponevezh Yeshiva in the town of Panevezys, Lithuania and later transplanted it to Bnei Brak, Israel.  After the horrors of the Holocaust, Jewish culture has had a revival in Lithuania.

To celebrate Chanukah this year, Fajerlech, a professional Jewish song and dance ensemble, performed a Chanukah concert in the town, and in two other Lithuanian cities.  Here's a five minute taste of the concert.  Enjoy!

It's Hanukkah. Be Happy! Act Happy! Dennis Prager says It's a Moral Obligation

What better time of year to be happy?  It's Hanukkah.

But what if something in your life is troubling you?  Then act happy and you'll make everyone around you happy.  And maybe some of that happiness will come back to you.  After all, happiness is a moral obligation.

That's the case made forcefully by national talk show host Dennis Prager, in his book "Happiness is a Serious Problem," in his weekly radio "Happiness Hour" and in his 5-minute internet course on Happiness at Prager University.

Prager has created a series of five-minute courses on fundamentals of living that bring clarity to life.  A firm belief in and understanding of Jewish values are the foundation of his mini-courses.  He maintains that most liberal arts universities have neglected to teach these basic lessons and left thousands of students morally confused.  Here is his 5-minute course on happiness as a moral obligation.

 
Dennis has a three hour daily talk show where he discusses "everything in life." In the New York-New Jersey area only the second and third hours are broadcast from 1 pm to 3 pm on AM 970 radio (The Apple.)

You can find everything Prager at www.dennisprager.com.

Chanukah Around the World: In London They Do It With Whisky

Sam Adams, writing in the online website This Is Local London, reported the lighting of Chanukah Candles last night using what is thought to be the world's first ever whisky menorah.

Dozens of people turned out at Buckhurst Hill Chabad, in Princes Road, to see the seven-foot-high ceremonial candle holder - made of clear pipes - filled with 65 litres of 17-year-old Scottish single malt in celebration of Chanukah.

Whisky from the menorah was then poured from a tap in the structure's stem and auctioned off in bottles by Rabbi Odom Brandman to raise money for a new centre for the area's Jewish community.

Rabbi Brandman - who had earlier led the lighting of a publicly displayed menorah in nearby Queen's Road - thanked the Tullibardine distillery for donating the whisky.

He said: "We like to celebrate Chanukah a little differently, and had a menorah made of old cans last year, and out of chocolate the year before.  This year we decided to go for the world's first whisky menorah.

"We knew we needed a lot of whisky, so we contacted Tullibardine, who very kindly offered to donate 65 litres for our menorah. The whisky itself is really nice. It's smooth, mellow and has a slightly fruity flavour.  I have been on a tour of the distillery and the management there have been so helpful, accommodating and as excited as us about making this Menorah really special."

L'Chayim!

(Menorah photo from This is Local London; Whisky photo from Spirax)

Haredi Rabbis Ban (Are You Ready For This?) Haredi Internet Web Sites

We'll never run out of articles about new rabbinic bans.  Just when we thought that the ban on perfume that we reported on last week was the last straw, here comes another one:  

A group of haredi rabbis in Israel have posted a ban on haredi web sites.  They had long banned non-haredi internet sites, but this new ban cuts off virtually all internet access to their followers.

The ban was publcized on a pashkevil, a wall poster that is commonly used in haredi neighborhoods to proclaim rabbinic decrees.  Ironically, the pashkevil reproduced at right (click on it to enlarge the text) came from a haredi internet site, Bechadrei Chareidim, which could be one of the newly banned sites.

Back in the 1990s, when the web was exploding with new sites, there appeared a Satmar web site entirely in Yiddish.  On top of the home page was a warning which said "If you can read this, you should not be using the internet.  It is muktze (actual meaning: not to be touched on Shabbat, but used to mean prohibited in general)."

As use of the internet became pervasive, in early 2000, a group of prominent Haredi rabbis in Israel with Hasidic, Lithuanian, Sephardic and Mizrahi followers, issued a total ban on use of the internet. They argued, "The Internet is a danger 1,000 times greater (than television, which was banned 30 years ago), and is liable to bring ruin and destruction upon all of Israel."  They did issue a dispensation for business use, showing recognition that the internet is an indispensable tool. However, the rabbis specifically noted in their halakhic document that if the use of the internet was required for business, it should, under no circumstances, be available in the home.

Fast forward to 2009.  The Haredim have a presence on the internet in the form of newspapers and blogs that report breaking news and thoughful articles on a variety of topics, mostly from a respectful perspective.  Some do permit comments from readers, which show a range of opinions from strong support of positions claiming rabbinic infallibility to disdainful references and mocking of the insularity of the Haredi world view.

But the rabbis have been unable to stop the hunger for information that drives even the ultra-orthodox to add internet service to their homes.  Bezeq, the Israeli telecommunications company, estimates that 26% of haredi households now have internet access.  Many use it for business, financial information and religious studies, but the rabbis worry that even the haredi news sites "pursue all manners of news and gossip that defame our public" and "spread slander, lies and impurities to thousands."

Until now, there was a cease-fire between the haredi internet sites and blogs and the rabbinic establishment.  But now, as reported in Ynet News, the online website of the Israeli newspaper Yediot Acharonot,

A haredi journalist said that the rabbis' position "is a very dramatic, historic thing, since they have so far refrained from taking such steps in their fight against the Internet."
This move, he added, "Is a direct war on the websites and it will be a fierce battle. It will start with the personal persecution of Internet personnel and who knows where it will end. This move may very well mean Armageddon is upon us."

Our (unsolicited) advice to the issuers of bans?  If you can read this, you should not be using the internet. Press the "Delete" key.

Lighten up.  Better still, subscribe to Jewish Humor Central.  And have a Happy Chanukah!

Happy Hanukkah: Light the Third Candle Tonight With Downers Grove Orchestra

Happy Hanukkah to all of our readers.  Tonight we light the third Chanukah candle.  Let's enjoy a rousing performance of the Hanukkah Festival Overture by the District 99 Orchestra of Downers Grove, Illinois. Be sure to watch for the dancing bass player during Mi Y'malel.

Classic Gold: A Joke to Start Your Day: How Israel Really Won the Six-Day War

During a fund-raising tour of the United States, after a State visit with President Richard Nixon in 1968, Golda Meir was asked, "How was it possible for Israel to defeat all those Arabs in 1967 in just six days?"

"It was our army," she replied.  "It was the way we were organized.  Our reserves saved the day."

"How so?"

"First," she explained, "we called up all the doctors and trained them well.  Then we called up all the dentists and trained them well.  Then we called up all the lawyers and trained them well. 

Then we called in our Minister of Defense, Moshe Dayan, and he gave the order:  CHARGE! -- and boy, did they know how to charge!"

(From "Classic Jewish Humor in America" by Henry D. Spalding.)

Chanukah Is Here!: Light the First Candle Tonight with Sarit Hadad

Tonight's the first night of Chanukah.  We have enjoyed the countdown, bringing you a taste of Chanukah every day for the past month, leading up to today.  Let's light the first candle tonight and one more each night for the full eight days of Chanukah, and let's hope the holiday ushers in a year of good health, happiness, and peace for us and for all Israel.

Tonight's Chanukah video features popular Israeli singer Sarit Hadad singing the song that she sang at the Eurovision Song Contest in 2002, accompanied by a Chanukah slide show created by Racheli Raz.

Traveling? Can't Find a Menorah? If You Have an iPhone, Light Up with Mobile Menorah

Are you on the road during Chanukah? Can't find your menorah? Are you in a non-smoking room in a hotel where you can't light candles? If you have an iPhone, you're in luck.  Among the thousands of applications (apps) available for the iPhone are a growing number of Jewish apps for Hanukkah and other Jewish holidays.

Here's one called Mobile Menorah, which you can download to your iPhone or iPod Touch for 99 cents.

There's a competing app called iMenorah ($2.95), which is demonstrated by its developers in the video below.

A bigger selection of Jewish iPhone and iPod Touch apps, can be found at The Apple Blog, including:

Kosher ($4.99) - Reviews and kashrut of restaurants

Kosher Cookbook ($4.99)

Kosher Me ($6.99) - All common Jewish prayers translated, transliterated, and sounded out.

iBlessing (99 cents) - All food-related blessings in Hebrew and English.

Siddur ($9.99) and Siddur Lite (99 cents) - The WHOLE Siddur.

Synagogue (99 cents) - Uses your GPS coordinates to find the nearest synagogue.

Senator Orrin Hatch, Mormon Republican From Utah, Writes Hanukkah Song as Gift to Jewish People

When we started our Chanukah Countdown last month, posting a musical video each night, we would not have predicted that with one day to go until the first candle, we would be posting a brand new song written for Chanukah by a Mormon United States Senator.

The New York Times reports that Senator Orrin Hatch, Republican of Utah and a Mormon, has written an original song for Hanukkah as a gift to the Jewish People.

Senator Orrin Hatch, a solemn-faced Republican with a soft spot for Jews and a love of Barbra Streisand, has penned a catchy holiday tune, “Eight Days of Hanukkah.”  The video was posted Tuesday night on Tablet, an online magazine of Jewish lifestyle and culture, just in time for Hanukkah.

Eight Days of Hanukkah from Tablet Magazine on Vimeo.

Mark Leibovich writes in the Times,

Known around the Senate as a prolific writer of Christian hymns and patriotic melodies, Mr. Hatch, 75, said this was his first venture into Jewish music. It will not be his last.

"Anything I can do for the Jewish people, I will do,” Mr. Hatch said in an interview before heading to the Senate floor to debate an abortion amendment. “Mormons believe the Jewish people are the chosen people, just like the Old Testament says.”

In short, he loves the Jews. And based on an early sampling of listeners, the feeling could be mutual.

Fingering a silver mezuzah on a chain around his neck and wearing headphones in the studio, Hatch is shown in the video following along as the song is recorded by Syrian-American singer Rasheeda Azar.

The Tablet article, written by Jeffrey Goldberg, formerly with the New York Times Magazine and The Jerusalem Post, and now a staff writer for The Atlantic, tells the fascinating tale of how his casual suggestion to the senator ten years ago led to "a Mormon senator in a studio with an Arab singer and a bunch of New York Jewish background vocalists recording a Hanukkah song of his own making."  It's an article worth reading.

Another Joke to Start Your Day: Mezuzahs

A wealthy Jewish man buys a fabulous home in Beverly Hills, California. He brings in a local designer to decorate the place. 

When the job is finished, the homeowner is delighted but realizes that he's forgotten to put mezuzahs on the doors. He goes out and buys 50 mezuzahs and asks the decorator, who is non-Jewish, to place them on the right hand side of each door except bathrooms and kitchens.

He's really worried that the decorator will chip the paint work or won't put them up correctly. However, when he comes back a few hours later, he sees that the job has been carried out to his entire satisfaction. He's so pleased that he gives the decorator a bonus. 

As the decorator is walking out of the door he says, "Glad you're happy with the job..." "By the way, I took out the warranties in each one and left them on the table for you."
  
(A tip of the kippah to Teddy Asch for calling this one to our attention.)

Hanukkah Countdown: The New Yorker Catches Hanukkah Fever With 2 Days to Go

What do the Beatles, the Prophet Elijah, Velvel the Tailor, Kangaroo Moses, and a candle named Blue have in common?  They all make brief appearances in a collection of (very) short Hanukkah stories by Yoni Brenner in the current issue of The New Yorker.  A bit strange, a bit eclectic, but very funny.  So we're linking to them in the spirit of Hanukkah humor.  Laugh a little.  Or a lot.

   Here's one to get you started:

Latkeland

In the Book of the Redemption (c. 1263), the celebrated medieval Jewish philosopher Nahmanides describes a distant land where everything—the houses, the roads, even the synagogue—is made from potato latkes. And running through this savory land are two broad rivers, one flowing with applesauce and the other with sour cream.  And on Hanukkah the Jews of Latkeland gather at the confluence of the two rivers, so they can top their latkes with a dollop of each.  Incidentally, it was around this time that Nahmanides was doing a lot of drugs.

 (A tip of the kippah - and an extra Chanukah present - to Esther Kustanowitz for bringing this to our attention.)

Rabbis in Israel Ban Perfume; Music Lessons Banned in Satmar "Holy City" of Kiryas Joel

Just when we thought there was nothing left to ban, the rabbis of Bnei Brak in Israel and Kiryas Joel in New York have found new ones:  perfume and music lessons.  OK, these two items don't seem to be related except that they are not looked upon favorably by Rabbi Yosef Meir Altman, head of the Hatam Sofer Rabbinical Court in Bnei Brak and Rabbi Aaron Teitelbaum, the Satmar Rebbe, who resides in the Rockland County community of Kiryas Joel.

According to a report in the Israeli paper Maariv, the Satmar Rebbe told his followers not to bring "keilim temei'im" (impure instruments) into their homes, referring to the Internet and video.  He then surprised his chassidim by speaking out against their taking their children to music lessons. 

He also urged his followers to beware of giving charity to “outside” organizations that reportedly hold private fundraising events featuring screened presentations, saying these events are inappropriate for “the holy city of Kiryas Yoel.”

Meanwhile, last Saturday night across the ocean in Bnei Brak, outside of Tel Aviv, a group of Haredim protested the opening of a new shopping mall which included the New Pharm drugstore, because they believed the cosmetics and perfumes for women and cologne and hair coloring for men would have a negative influence on the town's young people.

The Jerusalem Post reports:

According to a Bnei Brak haredi activist, New-Pharm is located next to several very conservative educational institutions, including the Rabbi Wolf Seminary for Girls, known for its strict adherence to modesty rules.

People here do not want their daughters to be influenced by cosmetics and perfume," said the source, who asked to remain anonymous. "It simply is not acceptable."

The demonstrations, which were not organized by mainstream elements, came as a surprise to New-Pharm management, which had consulted with Bnei Brak Chief Rabbi Ya'acov Landau via PR firm McCann Erickson's haredi department.

"We removed condoms from the store, we do not use improper advertisements, we moved the cosmetics department to the back and we market goods that target the haredi population," said New-Pharm spokeswoman Daniella Reisenbach.

(Satmar photo: Reuters)

Chanukah Countdown: The G-dcast Team Retells the Chanukah Story in Cartoon Form

Back in October we introduced you to the G-dcast web site which relates the 55 weekly Torah portions via cartoons and different voices.  With Chanukah just 3 days away, they just released a special episode relating the story of Chanukah.  We hope you'll enjoy the unique presentation.

A Joke to Start Your Day: A Parking Dilemma

Shmuel, a life-long resident of Jerusalem, is on his way to court for an important trial and sadly gets a late start to his morning. By the time he gets to the court house, all the parking spots are taken. 

He drives around five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, and no luck. Twenty minutes pass and he’s beginning to get desperate. After 30 minutes of circling the parking lot and the adjacent neighborhoods in utter futility, the time for his court appearance fast approaching, he turns his head heavenward and shouts,

"Ribbono shel Olam,Master of the universe. I swear I will give 10% tzedakah each year, daven three times a day, make my home a meeting place for Torah scholars, go to the mikveh before Shabbos each week, I’ll wait eight hours between meat and dairy foods, only just this: I need a place to park right now.”

And just as he finishes this heart-wrenching plea, a guy pulls out of a parking spot right there and then, and Shmuel turns to God and says, “Never mind, I found a spot!” 

(Thanks to Dan Englander for forwarding this gem to JHC.)

Chanukah Countown: Bonita Vista High School Choir of Chula Vista, California Sings It's Time for Hanukkah

With only 4 days until we light the first Hanukkah candle, let's sing along with the Music Machine, the award-winning choir of Bonita Vista High School of Chula Vista, California.  Enjoy!

A Rabbi, a Policeman and a Dog Walk Into a State Capitol...

No, this is NOT a joke.  You just can't make this stuff up.  Eric A. Stern, writing in The New York Times' Religion Journal column yesterday, told the story of how a rabbi with a long beard, black hat, and long black coat helped to solve a problem for the Police Department in Helena, the capital city of Montana.  

It seems that the Helena Police Department needed a dog trained to do searches for bombs, but didn't want to pay the going price of $20,000.  After shopping around, they found that Israel had a surplus of these trained dogs and was willing to give the dog to Montana for the price of a flight.  So that's how Miky (pronounced Mikey), a German shepherd, landed in Montana.  

But there was one problem.  Miky had been trained by Hebrew speaking handlers.  When he arrived in Helena, he wouldn't respond to commands in English.  The officer, who was given a list of Hebrew commands like "Hishaer" (stay) "Chapess" (search) and "Kelev Tov" (good doggy), suspected that his pronunciation was not good enough for the dog to understand.  

So the policeman and the dog showed up at the Capitol on the first night of Hanukkah last year.  When the candle lighting ceremony was over, the policeman approached the Hasidic rabbi, who helped him with his Hebrew pronunciations, and made himself available as needed to help the officer communicate with his security dog.

The article relates interesting information about Jewish life in Montana, and how it is experiencing a minor revival.  The article concludes,

...the big winner is the rabbi, a recent arrival from Brooklyn who is working hard (against tough odds) to bring his Lubavitch movement to Montana.  He has been scouring the state for anyone who can speak Hebrew, and is elated to have found a German shepherd he can talk to.

Hanukkah Coundown: Theodore Bikel Sings Chanukah O Chanukah

With only 5 days to go until we light the first candle, let's get in the mood for Chanukah with veteran folksinger Theodore Bikel as he sings one of the most popular Chanukah songs in Yiddish and in English.

Welcome Tootsie Rolls, Tootsie Pops, Mason Dots To The World of Kosher Candy

Attention all packagers of Purim, Bar Mitzvah, and Aufruf candy bags:  Your world has just expanded beyond Paskesz and Goldenberg Peanut Chews.   Tootsie Rolls, Tootsie Pops, and Mason Dots are now kosher under the supervision of the OU.

Also included are the company's many well-known branded products including Tootsie Roll, Tootsie Roll Pops, Tootsie Pop Drops, Caramel Apple Pops, Child’s Play, Charms, Blow Pop, Blue Razz, Cella’s chocolate covered cherries, Mason Dots, Mason Crows, Junior Mints, Charleston Chew, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Babies, Andes, Fluffy Stuff cotton candy, Dubble Bubble, Razzles, Cry Baby, Nik-L-Nip and EI Bubble. 

Now kosher consumers can finally learn the answer to the age-old question:  How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?  We found the original commercial, which first aired in 1969 and may well be the longest running TV commercial.

Chanukah Countdown - 7 Days to Go: If You're In Israel This Year, You'd Better Not Eat Donuts and Drive

There's a new reason to scarf down donuts on Chanukah this year in Israel.  There's also a new reason (the same one) to avoid them.

Ynet News reports that this year Israelis can find jelly donuts (sufganiyot) that have been infused with 90 milliliters of vodka diluted with jam.  A 100 gram donut will sell for NIS 4.5 (about $1.18.)

"Adults await sufganiyot no less than children do," a source from the company that imports "Hortiza", the vodka to be infused into the donuts, said."Therefore," he added, "we have decided to launch a line of donuts suitable for adults and party-goers."

The vodka contains 35% alcohol, and the alcohol content of each donut is equal to that of a bottle of beer.

That's a pretty powerful donut.

Vodka donuts will be sold only to adults who present an appropriate ID to comply with local law.

Israeli Soldier Jailed for Shabbat Cooking; His Defense - "The Cat Ate My Cholent"

You've probably heard the excuse "the dog ate my homework" many times, but how about "the cat ate my cholent"?

An Israeli soldier from the Nachshon battalion went into the dining room at the army base last Shabbat, intending to eat cholent that was cooked in accordance with halachic regulations.

But before they sat down to the Shabbat meal, they found that a cat had already tasted the stew of meat and potatoes. The soldier, refusing to eat from the tainted pot, decided to make a light meal for himself and his colleagues.

He was seen cooking by a member of the kitchen staff who told him to stop immediately and informed the commander of the battalion. He was put on trial and sentenced to 20 days in detention.

"There are clear orders about observing the Shabbat, and even if the food was inedible there are other options to get food without desecration of the Sabbath," said IDF sources. 

The full story is reported in YNET, the online version of the Israeli newspaper, Yediot Acharonot.

Chanukah Countdown: The Making of the Flash Mob Dancing in Jerusalem Video

Last Wednesday we posted a video of 150 people singing and dancing to Chanukah music in a seemingly spontaneous happening in the streets of Jerusalem.  Like us, you probably wondered how they could pull off such a stunt.

Well, it happened really fast.  The call for participants went out on Facebook five days before the event.  Within two hours of posting more than 60 people said they would attend.  Over 150 showed up.  The choreography was completely taught and directed in one hour.  No one had any previous knowledge of the dance.

With Chanukah only 8 days away, here's a look behind the scenes of how the production came together.  Enjoy!

A Joke to Start Your Day: Squirrels in Shul

A small town had two churches, Presbyterian and Methodist, and a Synagogue.

All three had a serious problem with squirrels in their buildings. Each in its own fashion had a meeting to deal with the problem.

The Presbyterians decided that it was predestined that squirrels be in the church and that they would just have to live with them.

The Methodists decided they should deal with the squirrels lovingly. They humanely trapped them and released them in a park at the edge of town. Within 3 days, they were all back in the church.

The Jews simply voted the squirrels in as members. Now they only see them on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.

Hanukkah Countdown: The Children of Akko Sing

We continue our bonus posting of a special Chanukah video every day until the end of Chanukah. Only 9 more days until we light the first candle.

Let's take a few minutes to watch and listen to a Hanukkah medley sung by the Yasmin Kindergarten class in Akko, Western Galilee, Israel. This video was just uploaded yesterday.

Battle of the Bagel Slicers: Brooklyn Challenges the Guillotine; Health Care Savings Could Be Significant

Each year, emergency rooms in hospitals across the country are seeing an increase in BRI patients. Last year, 1,979 people appeared in ERs with a BRI.

What? You don't know what a BRI is? A Bagel Related Injury, of course.

Yesterday, The Wall Street Journal printed a front page story about the battle shaping up between the Bagel Guillotine, the 15-year-old market leader selling 80,000 units a year, and a new contender, the Brooklyn Bagel Slicer.

Dr. Dennis Moss, a 66-year-old Rochester, N. Y. radiologist, invented the Brooklyn Bagel Slicer because he believes that bagel-safety technology is open to improvement as long as the BRI menace exists. He says "If we keep anybody out of the emergency room it saves health-care dollars." Dr. Moss and his son, Michael, 36, a co-inventor, say they are against unnecessary procedures." They call bagel injuries "an epidemiological scourge."

The Congressional Budget Office has not yet weighed in on the ten-year savings expected if all BRI visits to emergency rooms are eliminated, but independent observers believe it could have a significant impact on the health care reform legislation now being debated in the Senate.

The inventor of the classic Bagel Guillotine, Rick Ricard, sees no need for new bagel slicers, and says that his invention achieved a paradigm shift in bagel cutting.

The Journal also reports that there does not seem to be any immunity to BRI among those who share the bagel's Jewish genes.

Dozens of bagel-control devices have been invented over the years. In the following video, WSJ's Barry Newman heads to Zabar's on Manhattan's West Side to try some out.

Chanukah Countdown: Veronica Monica Tells the Chanukah Story on Sesame Street

Only 10 days to go. So you think you know the story of Chanukah? Did you know that Judah Macabee cleaned up the temple with absorbent paper towels? Well, maybe you should watch Elmo introduce Veronica Monica on the Sesame Street Hanukkah Channel. It's only 2 minutes and 44 seconds long, so they had to leave out a lot. But the paper towels made the final cut. Enjoy!

The Big Bubkis: A Complete Gentile's Guide to Jewish Vaudeville - Now Playing in New York

Shane Bertram Baker, unquestionably the biggest star in Yiddish vaudeville today, returns in his mega-hit sensation, The Big Bupkis! A Complete Gentile's Guide to Yiddish Vaudeville for the first open-run of a Yiddish-related show in twenty years.
 

When it was first performed, under a different name, "The Big Bupkis!" was the most talked-about, highly praised, successful and critically acclaimed Yiddish show in recent memory. The new and improved The Big Bupkis! performs twice a week, on Saturdays at 9pm and Sundays at 7pm, now in previews at 9pm, opening Saturday December 5 at 9pm, at The Workmen's Circle, 45 East 33rd Street, and running indefinitely until every last, living, breathing lover of theater on the planet has seen this show.

Co-conceived and directed by Allen Lewis Rickman, a battle-hardened veteran of Yiddish theater (but nowhere near as adored as Baker), "The Big Bupkis!" is an evening of cheap jokes, magic, ukulele music, hypnotism, unpleasant stories about Sophie Tucker, transvestitism, and a Yiddish bullfight poem, among other theatrical indignities. Giving nothing away, the show ends with Mr. Baker attempting to behead a volunteer from the audience.

Produced by the New Yiddish Rep, downtown's upstart Yiddish theater, The Big Bupkis! mixes English and Yiddish, with English supertitles projected over the stage. According to Artistic Director David Mandelbaum, who insists that this is not his great-grandmother's Yiddish theater, the Rep "is catering to the tastes, and cultural needs of a huge and underserved young audience for Yiddish."

Kansas City native Shane Bertram Baker, widely recognized as the leading matinée idol in the Yiddish vaudeville today, is acknowledged to be the first non-Jew (or Gentile) to ever get this far in that particular arena. How he became fluent in Yiddish; how he became a fixture in New York's booming Yiddish vaudeville community; how he became the executive director of the Congress for Jewish Culture (an esteemed Yiddish literary organization); and how he amassed credits as an actor, director, magician, and puppeteer of such accomplishment are all richly described and illustrated in this fascinating show.

Among his many credits: He assisted Tony-winning director Doug Hughes (currently "The Royal Family" and "Oleanna") on "The Grey Zone;" worked on Peter Sellers' Los Angeles Festival; has performed at P.S. 122, ShowWorld, and with Great Small Works (an anarchist puppet troupe), and played Carla the Gypsy Wildcat in The Ridiculous Theatrical Company's "Turds In Hell." As a child he was mentored in magic by vaudeville veteran H. Claude Enslow. He is also an authority on the plays of Henry Fielding and an early contributor to the current burlesque revival.

Mr. Baker will be accompanied by the legendary Steve Sterner. A veteran Broadway, Off-Broadway, and Yiddish theater performer, Mr. Sterner is best-known for accompanying and composing music for over 300 silent films, at MoMA, BAM, the Museum of the Moving Image, and Film Forum, where he is house pianist. As an accompanist, he has played with Robert Merrill, Jerry Vale, Joan Collins, and JoAnne Woodward, among many others.

Co-conceiver and director Allen Lewis Rickman's Yiddish credits include adapting and directing "The Lady Next Door" and "A Novel Romance," and co-adapting, directing, and acting in the Drama Desk-nominated Yiddish version of "Pirates of Penzance," as well as performing with Lillian Lux, the late Bruce Adler and the Joseph Papp Yiddish Theater. He can be seen acting in Yiddish onscreen in the Coen Brothers' "A Serious Man" (currently in release) and onstage in his play "The Essence: A Yiddish Theater Dim Sum" (in produced by New Yiddish Rep and due next year in an anthology edited by Harvey Pekar).

"The Big Bupkis!" performs at the New Yiddish Rep's permanent home at the Workmen's Circle building, 45 East 33rd Street. Performances are Saturdays at 9pm and Sundays at 7pm. Previews are going on now, and the opening is Saturday December 5 at 9pm. Tickets are $25, and a student discount is available. For tickets and more information visit www.NewYiddishRep.org.

In the video clip below, Here, Shane Baker reminisces about meeting Arthur Tracy, the Street Singer, at the Yiddish Artists and Friends Actors' Club, then presents a bit of "tidy tearing" while reciting a Yiddish version of Tracy's hit Trees. Trees was written by Joyce Kilmer, the Yiddish is by Mates Olitsky. Steve Sterner accompanies with Oscar Rasbach's musical setting.

In this second video, Shane Baker hypnotizes Mendel, the rubber chicken

(Hat tip to Anonymous, who commented on this post December 17.)

Chanukah - 12 Days to Go: IDF Soldiers and Chabadniks Whoop It Up on an Army Base

Making Trouble: A Tribute to the Great Female Jewish Comedians

 
Here's a film you probably never heard of, but it's probably worth seeing. That is, if you can find it.

Making Trouble covers more than 100 years of theater, film, and television, highlighting the comedy of Molly Picon, Fanny Brice, Sophie Tucker, Joan Rivers, Gilda Radner, and Wendy Wasserstein.

It includes interviews with experts, scholars, and entertainers including actor Martin Short, author Gary Giddins, and LA Times movie critic Kenneth Turan.

The film takes the form of a documentary, presented as a gabfest at Katz's Delicatessen among four current Jewish female comedians, Judy Gold, Jackie Hoffman, Cory Kahaney, and Jessica Kirson. These four reminisce about the veteran comedians' performances and how they shared the gift -- and the burden -- of being funny, being Jewish, and being female.

You won't find the DVD on Amazon or Netflix, but it can be purchased at the Making Trouble website for $24.95. Here is the film's trailer.

Chanukah Countdown: Tom Lehrer's Chanukah in Santa Monica

With only 12 days left until we light the first Chanukah candle, let's take a trip down memory lane to 1990, when songwriter Tom Lehrer wrote Chanukah in Santa Monica to remedy the lack of good Chanukah songs. Here is a video of the Lake Forest High School Glee Club singing this classic. Enjoy!

A New Joke to Start Your Day: The Rabbi and the Pope

A few centuries ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope agreed to have a religious debate with a Rabbi selected by the Jewish community. If the Rabbi won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave.

The Jews realized that they had no choice. So they picked a wise Rabbi to represent them, but they asked for one condition to be met. Since the Rabbi didn't speak Italian or Latin and the Pope didn't speak Hebrew or Yiddish, neither side would be allowed to talk. They would use only hand gestures. The pope agreed.

The day of the great debate came. The Rabbi and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The Rabbi looked back at him and raised one finger.

The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. The Rabbi pulled out an apple.

The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This Rabbi is too smart. The Jews can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals surrounded the Pope, asking him what happened.

The Pope said: "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around the Rabbi. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said the Rabbi, "First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole country would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here."

"And then?" asked a woman.

"I don't know," said the Rabbi. "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."

Hanukkah Countdown with the Ventriloquist Dummy Choir

Our Hanukkah countdown is now at 14 days and counting. It's getting harder and harder to come up with funny versions of Chanukah songs every day, but we'll keep it up as long as we can.

Here's that overplayed song, I Have a Little Draydel, sung by a really unique troupe, the Ventriloquist Dummy Choir on the Conan O'Brien show. Enjoy!

Kosher Comedy to Shtick To...In Australia

Jewish comedy knows no bounds, in content, format, and geography. You really can't get away from it. If you try, and make it all the way Down Under to Sydney, Australia, you'll find that there's no escape. Kosher TheatreSports, Sydney's longest-running annual Jewish comedy improvisational game show is set to return to Bondi Pavillion Theatre on Sunday, December 6. It's being billed as the ultimate night of Jewish comedy. This year, six groups, including one calling themselves Shmux in Tux, will battle it out for the famous Kiddush Cup.
Here's how the event is being covered by the Australian Jewish News.